jawa.mee.nu

August 29, 2007

Caption This - If You Can Stomach It

The Associate Press has discovered a new way to trigger the human gag reflex:

Gulp.

Posted by: Kafir at 02:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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August 11, 2007

As A Gun Owner, Should I Be Worried? *Poll Sticky*

Here's the quote from our local paper:

Mayor Mike Fahey wants to add surveillance cameras in violent areas, boost the Police Department units that serve those neighborhoods and stiffen local gun laws in response to the spike in gun violence that has left nearly 40 people wounded in shootings since July 1.

Here's the poll:

Okay, as Paul Harvey says, here's the rest of the story. What I quoted above was from the local paper. Here's what Fahey actually said via our local talk radio station:

The mayor announced several new initiatives that he hopes will reduce the violence, but also said the city can't solve the problem alone.

Fahey will seek increased penalties for those caught selling illegal weapons, and the teens carrying them.
He suggested that the city install surveillance cameras in violent areas of the city's expressed a desire to have more officers in the police's gang unit.

So, I'm interested in seeing if the poll results start to change before the post unstickys.

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July 03, 2007

Vote for Miss Hoosegow 2007

Paris Hilton is way behind, so get over there and vote for your fave hot fellon chick at Iowa Hawk. Why because that tractor tire is so way effing cool.

Totally unrelated but check out this image from Iowa Hawk's top post.

Ohhh, that's gotta hurt! Add to that the humiliation of a full body cavity search by an infidel and it adds up to one very bad day for a Jihadi.

You know, I think this whole war on the west thing is starting to slip away from al-Qaeda. Life is good.

Posted by: Howie at 01:11 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 These rotten terrorists deserve everything they get -- particularly the judgment that awaits them 1 second after they've blown themselves up!

Posted by: Richard Romano at July 03, 2007 03:27 PM (iD1fP)

2 "...a full body cavity search by an infidel..."

I hope they used pig fat as lubricant just to complete the humiliation.

Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at July 03, 2007 03:34 PM (j97MF)

3 Jonesy, and that will be the day the ME becomes a sheet of glass.

Yes, by God we do care. We get criticized for supporting regimes like Saddam. We get criticized when we remove one despot and give the people of Iraq an opportunity to have a future. So much of it is up to them. But we effing tried.

You can bitch about the political reasons that were put forth for the war but the truth was we have been baby sitting Saddam for over 10 years and it was time to put an end to it. Saddam was giving money to suicide bombers in Israel. Lending aid, comfort and a safe haven for al-Qeada fighters fleeing Afghanistan. It was time to stop pussy footing around with that asshole. I don't know why our politicians can't say that, probably becuase that's what they are, politicians

We could always go back to supporting the biggest butchers in the region to control them if that suits your taste better.

And I'd rather go down fighting than cowering before a bunch of damned savages.

And another thing. Those third world assholes have had 3000 years to make their fucking country into some place decent. We even helped them. But they all want to be independent.

I was listening to an old African man on NPR who said he was all for indepencence when it came to his nation. Tthen grudgingly admitted that his life was better under English rule.

We, the rabble, rejects and free thinkers that Europe didn't want, took this fucking continent and made a damn fine nation out of it in only 400 years.

These people are made to suffer by their own, not by us so GFYS. I hope and pray they do get a better life but the biggest thing standing in their way is themselves.

But go ahead and fuck with America if you have a few guts and no brains step right up. We'll kick your ass for you.

You would think an Aussie like jonesey would know better. I hear you are having a little problem with your third world nation in the north of your country. So are you oppressing them or do they lie in their own shit and blame you for it?

Posted by: Howie at July 03, 2007 04:10 PM (YHZAl)

4 nice little shallow minded hateful liberal rant jonsey, now get back in your box where you belong. Leave the fight for freedom and our way of life up to the big boys, we will certainly not give in or bend over and take it from islamic dictators or terrorists.

Posted by: rob at July 03, 2007 04:48 PM (QpkBe)

5 Jonsey: Fucking idiot. No nation has done as much for the world's poor as America. You are a jealous little shit. What jerkoffs like you haven't seen is America pissed off. The next major attack on America will mean the destruction of our enemies and their supporters. Enough is enough. One day, the woosies in America will rectified the mistakes made over the last 40 yrs. Then hell will be at our enemies door. Hell. Once we decide the world is composed of little shits like you who doesn't care what happens to us you will see the other side of America. As every nation who ever fucked with us found out. IT JUST ISN'T WORTH IT.

Posted by: greyrooster at July 03, 2007 05:42 PM (IsKxj)

6 Jonsey: You are obviously an ignorant person. We all believe that another attack on America will occur. Not much we can do about it. What turkeys like you fail to realize is what just one of our Subs have the power to destroy the entire middle east in retaliation. We have many subs. We will take the blow. Then destroy the muslims ability to ever do it again. Muslims are signing their own death warrants right now. America is a strange place. 9/11 was a big deal right? Most Americans have already forgotten about it. Most Americans don't even know where Pearl Harbour is. But look what happened to Japan because of it. Defeated totally. Then guided to civilization and wealth and responsibility. Of course there is a difference. Japanese are people. Muslims are subhuman. In any case. You suck. Your thoughts and comments are those of mindless little brat. Fuck you. Jealous little shit.

Posted by: greyrooster at July 03, 2007 11:03 PM (visiI)

7 Holy shit, you're calling ME ignorant, greyrooster, while you're spouting off nuclear attacks against the middle east? Fucking moron. Consider the consequences of such an action. Example :

Say an Islamic fundamentalist group managed to detonate a dirty bomb (or several) in the heart of a large American city. First of all, think of the economic and social consequences. It would be a disaster of epic fucking proportions. I don't think I need to go into details. September 11th would look like Disneyland in comparison.

Now, who would these US nuclear subs retaliate against? The entire middle east, you say? Okay, well I'm sure China and Russia would stand idly by and allow you to do this. I'm sure they'd LOVE to live next door to a nuclear wasteland.
Such an action would precipitate World War III. It'd be a nuclear holocaust. We'd all be royally fucked.

Back to Howie. First off, I'm not Australian. Ever heard of private proxies? I like to keep my country of origin secret. Anyway, speaking of Australia, the Australian government is just as bad as your own, because they buckled and stuck their tongues up Bush's ass once he dangled the prospect of a free trade agreement under their noses.

As for Iraq, Howie, it has become a major clusterfuck. Saddam was a prick, but you should have left him alone. Hell, you guys even supported him for a time. Helping him with the fight against Iran and such. All the chemical and bio-weapons he had came from America in the first place. I find it humorous that the US governments reason for invasion was to remove WMD capabilities, when it was the US government who allowed him to gain these weapons in the first place.

So what'll happen to Iraq now, hmm? Your idiotic army will continue to perish. Yes, you'll kick some insurgent ass while shouting moronic phrases such as "Hooah", but they'll just keep coming. And coming. It's a fucking breeding ground for insurgency now. At least Saddam kept the insurgents in check, which is one of the reasons why he could never build a relationship with bin Laden.
Not only are trained militants appearing from surrounding countries in massive numbers, but you're training the civilian population to hate and resist you by bombing the fuck out of them and killing off entire families. Add the cases of rape and torture, and you can guarantee that the current generation of Iraqi kids despise you, and will actively seek to murder you once they are old enough to take up the fight. You're fucked in that department.

Okay, so you'll train up the Iraqi police and military. You've already got a puppet government who'll draft policies allowing you to rape Iraqi oil fields (just like in Afghanistan, mmm Unocal Pipeline). Maybe have an international force of peacekeepers keep an eye on things while you all bail the fuck out. Then the REAL civil war will start. Sunni Shiite slaughterfests, warlords attempting to gain control. The country will tear itself apart. Not that you'll give a fuck. Look at Afghanistan -- pretty much ignored now. Who gives a righteous fuck, huh? As long as you profit from post-war reconstruction, oil and gas pipelines, who cares if innocent people suffer?

As for Israel : FUCK ISRAEL. You can guarantee that they also have a surprise coming to them in the future. Syria and Iran will eventually see to that. I don't really want to get into the Israeli-Arab relationship, as its a conflict that thousands of years in the making. The way I see it is that they're both fucked. Jews are self righteous bigots who are the modern day equivalent of the Nazi party before they began shipping the jews off to concentration camps. If they could have there way, they'd bomb the fuck out of all the arabs surrounding them and be done with it.
The vast majority of Arab's are taught a hateful religion that looks down on non-believers (just like the Jews). The religious text of the Koran is completely open to fundamentalist interpretations, but even without such interpretations its full of fucked up shit. Not that I really have a problem with this, as they have the right to believe in whatever the fuck they want. Read the Old Testament, it's even worse than the Koran. Anyway, the Arabs hatred for America stems from many places, not the least of which is American occupation of Muslim holy lands. You can thank US foreign policy for much of their hatred for you.

Bah, I couldn't be bothered going on. It'll go in one ear and out the other.

Posted by: Jonesy at July 04, 2007 03:23 PM (HZegu)

8 Jonsey: You fucking moron. If we decided to attack the muslim countries that wouldn't have anything left to attack us with. War with the muslims would shut our borders and bring back the internment camps. And no China and Russia wouldn't do dick. If you think the Russians and Chinese give a fuck about the muslims you're one sick little asshole. They would consider the muslim solution something needed. Muslims at present are a pain in the ass to both Russia and China. Stupid ass. China is investing every dollar they can get in America. And Russia doesn't have any to invest. Why the fuck you think we won the cold war? You're a shallow minded dickhead Jonsey. Nothing more.

Posted by: greyrooster at July 04, 2007 08:45 PM (rwEtt)

9 Whatever, You sure your name isn't Scott?

Posted by: Howie at July 05, 2007 09:39 AM (YHZAl)

10 You were done when to started your silly bullshit. Nuclear bomb destroy the world. My ass. Didn't destroy the world 60 yrs ago. I fact it stopped the bullshit and kept the next line of bullshit it check. Grow some balls Jonsey. Something tells me you sleep with the light on.

Posted by: greyrooster at July 06, 2007 06:58 PM (DYtTi)

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June 06, 2007

London Olympic Logo Sucks

Ok so here is the new logo for the 2012 Olympics in London.

In fact is is so bad it is causing epileptic seizures.

Via BBC:
The new logo, which cost Â£400,000 to develop, has also been heavily criticised and more than 38,000 people have signed an online petition to have it scrapped.
The BBC News website invited users to send in suggestions for alternative logos, and has so far received more than 500.

That sounds like a good game. Send in your suggestion to Howie and I'll slap er up here. I have a couple to start us off with.

Theo Spark

A couple more here, where I ripped the second image from.

Update: More image(s) below the fold. more...

Posted by: Howie at 01:03 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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June 03, 2007

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Human Shield Edition

Caption this image of a young Iraqi boy taking cover behind a US soldier.

Hat Tip: Gateway Pundit.

Update: Fatwa's Issued.

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against TBinSTL for:

American soldiers, too lazy to walk, force Iraqi children to try to carry them on their shoulders.

The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa issued against Capitalist Infidel for:

What a real human shield looks like!

The new and improved cryptic "I feel like I'm moderating a very whiney third grader's recessâ€ fatwa issued against Howie for:

â€œI donâ€™t give a F*ck!â€

Posted by: Howie at 07:09 AM | Comments (37) | Add Comment
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May 27, 2007

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Time Travel Edition

Travel forward in time to Tuesday morning and caption this photo of former The Spew moderator Rosie O'Donnell when she wakes up, realizes she's unemployed and the both the hundred dollar an hour armed bodyguards are gone, took the last last 12 pack and ate every last effing Fruit Loop in the house.

Also Charlie Sheen has decided not to narrate the Loose Change sequel. Since the 911 Truth Movement has become less fashionable, he made a choice not believe it anymore. Kind of like the choice he made to believe in it when he thought it could get him some attention, but the opposite.

Alternate caption image: What does Rosie the Hut say to Princess Sheen when he tells her he doesn't want to do the 911 nutjob gig?

Image Credit Holland Studios

We really can't issue fatwas on this till Rosie rolls her big behind out of bed, has a couple beers and lays out the depths of her sadness in the ask ro section of her blog. Hopefully by noon on Tuesday

Imaged Credit: Crotchety Old Bastard, Hat Tip: 1sttofight.

Update Fatwas Issued!

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Billy for:

Kahlid Sheik O'Donnell expressed her relief to reporters after her expedited exit from "The View". "I think I just need to take some time off", she said. "You have no idea how hard it has been for me to keep my body hair shaved for the show. Besides, now I'll be able to spend more quality time at home smacking my beyotch around."

The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies fatwa issued against Dr. Akim Ullshitbay for:

Okay professor, the machine works. Now change us back.

The "Matt Damon" fatwa issued against Rslutty for:

Matt Damon

Posted by: Howie at 06:04 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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April 02, 2007

Teh Stoopid Test

If you believe this is true, you may believe this is true.

Teh Stoopid test is below the fold. Bonus points towards smartness are awarded for voting for the bottom-most answer. more...

Posted by: Vinnie at 11:55 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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March 17, 2007

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Early Edition (Updated: Answered!)

So, it's not the Blog Sabbath, but it's a caption contest with a twist.

Caption the photo, the person who gets the closest caption to the truth will be given a "i will cut ur neck" fatwa, the highest form of caption contest fatwa issued at TJR. Thereby removing the need for me to issue a fatwa.

The blog that posted the photo, and therefore the answer, will be linked tomorrow.

Certain entries will be disqualified, they know who they are.

Update: As promised, here's the background for the picture.

Have fun fatwa-ing yourselves, I'm going to go drink green beer and Irish whiskey till someone vomits.

Update, Too: The vomiting will have to wait. The wife wants to see "The 300."

Donch'a wish your wife was hot like mine?

Posted by: Vinnie at 03:17 PM | Comments (29) | Add Comment
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February 27, 2007

Take a Poll, Irritate Hamas

You know, since the digg.com thing, I think it's time for a little payback, don't you? So how about messing with the objectivity of one of Hamas' polls.

Via Lone Star times: Did you know that HAMAS has an English-language website?
Reallyâ€“this is not a joke. You can visit HAMASâ€™ english-language website by clicking right here.
Anyway, they have a poll question up on their site (left hand side of the screen, scroll down):
Do you agree with resuming Resistance these days?
Right now, the results stand at 48.2% YES, 44.8% NO, and 6.89% DONâ€™T KNOW.
Only 29 people have voted so far.
Do me a favor pleaseâ€“take just a moment to click over to the site and vote â€œNO.â€

Hat Tip: Greg.

Update: Hamas's site seems a bit slow. We had a DDOS here this AM. Hopefully they are getting their's now.

Posted by: Howie at 01:17 PM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
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February 03, 2007

True Or False?

Image via PostSecret.

Posted by: Vinnie at 10:50 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 Most Iraqis are not worth the fight.
Nor Iranians.
Nor any middle eastern throatslitter or Mohammedan.

Posted by: Speaking for the Choir at February 04, 2007 12:26 AM (b0FZu)

2 Fuck these Muslim bastards.

Dr. Krauthammer pretty much sums it up...

Posted by: Speaking for the Choir at February 04, 2007 12:29 AM (b0FZu)

3 No shit Sherlock, thanks for stating the obvious.

But the image doesn't mention any of the nationalities that you named.

Posted by: Vinnie at February 04, 2007 02:20 AM (fdAim)

Americans are worth the fight, with few exceptions, but the principles upon which we are founded are even more worth the fight. Michael Moore is unworthy even to recieve my fresh feces on his face, but his freedoms are a sacred trust.

In distant future days, when Michael Moore's skeleton is on display in a big jar in some travelling circus, if we have done our duty to uphold our Constitution, and fight for our way of life, those freedoms will still be sacred for generations who will appreciate, and cherish them.

Pardon my religion, but God blessed this nation, and it is left to us to earn that blessing. We have an obligation to fight for the very idea of America itself. We have to stand in defense of that idea, even if some of our citizens are abusive vermin. We are not standing for them, but they recieve the benefit of our courage, and commitment.

If you stand and fight for America, you stand in the company of millions who went before you, and if you should give everything to that task, you stand in even holier company.

Most Americans DO love this country, our flag, and our precious Constitution, even if they are sloppy in showing it. Most Americans ARE worth the fight!

Somebody doesn't want you to think so, but whoever they are, I can promise you that they are lying. Sure we have some bad apples, and every society does. Just do your best as a patriot to make up for them!

USA, all the way!

Posted by: Michael Weaver at February 04, 2007 04:20 AM (2OHpj)

5 What he said... nicely done, Michael Weaver.

Posted by: TXEric at February 04, 2007 10:06 AM (GxbBn)

6 Yea. Nicely done. Michael is to nice. Lefturds do not deserve what America offers. Muslim immigrants are not Americans. Nor will they ever be.

Posted by: greyrooster at February 04, 2007 10:16 AM (0W1Sk)

7 Vinnie,
You sound shitfaced already. Are you sure you are man enough to avoid losing to your booze and stay awake through the game?
Oh, and thank YOU for stating the obvious... but the fact those other "nationalities" (I love the cornfed Hagel-speak) I listed, such as throatslitters and Mohammedans, were not mentioned in the photo's caption does not make my points any less relevant every second of every day.
Outlaw Islam.
Oops. I did it again. I may not be earning virgins, but at least I earned myself another beer!

Posted by: Sherlock for the Choir at February 04, 2007 10:30 AM (b0FZu)

8 Yes! OUTLAW ISLAM.

Posted by: greyrooster at February 04, 2007 10:41 AM (0W1Sk)

9 I've said it before and I'll say it again--we'll have peace when every last Muslim man, woman and child on the planet is dead and every mosque on the planet burned down and sown with pig feces. The sooner the better. Of course, in reality, it wouldn't be necessary to kill all of them (see 1945 Japan/Germany) -- just enought to convince them that we're serious....

Posted by: L at February 04, 2007 01:18 PM (Gvo/q)

10 "Most" would be larger than a simple majority right? If so then, False. But just barely. It does not mater though. It is not most Americans/Westerners who Coalition troops in Iraq and NATO troops in Afghanistan are fighting for but the right for people to have the opportunity to show their worth or lack there of. Those Americans/Westerners who are worth it are worth fighting for, even if they are not the majority, are worth the fight.

Posted by: Chuck at February 04, 2007 06:37 PM (hgX7d)

11 TRUE.

If it weren't, you wouldn't need to ask.

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at February 05, 2007 01:02 AM (Dt3sl)

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January 29, 2007

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Dude, Like, The War Is Bogus Edition

Howie : So, Sean, how do you know that?

Sean: I'm not sure Howie dude. Like, I know terrorists like, want to kill us and stuff. But, this Iranian cat I met turned me on to some righteous hash to say that.

Update: Fatwa's Issued.

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Jesusland Carlos for:

--Sean Penn to mad mullahs regarding "Death to America." That language isn't constructive. The American public may take it literally."

The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies fatwa issued against templar knight for:

"Hey, bud, let's party! But we stay away from the boats, dude."

The "why you insult holly quoran" fatwa issued against The Big White Infidel for:

Aloha Mr Rafsajani!! Yeah, I still know Phoebe Cates.

The Honorary â€œnot funny, but good pointâ€ Fatwa issued against Garduneh Mehr for :

Is that really Sean Penn with Rafsanjani? Do you have any idea how many hundreds of innocent Iranian have been murdered by this Rafsanjani? Did Sean Penn bother to speak with just one of the thousands of Iranians who spent their teen years in Rafsanjani's and regime's jails being subjected to torture and rape? etc etc etc

Garduneh: research assignment done below the fold. more...

Posted by: Howie at 01:25 PM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
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January 21, 2007

The Blog Sabbath Question Contest (sticky unto the end of the Sabbath)

Hillary wants to chat.

"I'm not just starting a campaign, though, I'm beginning a conversation with you, with America," she said. "Let's talk. Let's chat. The conversation in Washington has been just a little one-sided lately, don't you think?"

So, she wants to have a conversation. Okay, I'm down wit dat.

Hillary, let's start with the obvious questions.

How did a thousand dollar investment into cattle futures turn into a hundred thousand profit virtually overnight?

Where did you hide the Rose law firm billing records before they were found in that room? And did you need surgery to repair the damage? "Tighten it up," so to speak?

If you're elected, how many suicides will show up in Fort Marcy Park?

Readers are free to submit questions in the comments.

Fatwas will be issued Monday.

Posted by: Vinnie at 11:59 PM | Comments (37) | Add Comment
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January 07, 2007

The Blog Sabbath Poll: Sure, We Can Trust 'Em ~~(Sticky, Scroll Down For Seriousness)~~

This should be a hot competition.

We have MargaReuterville, and their whole fauxtography/Green Helmet Guy issues, and Associatedantiamerican Press with the Jamil/Jamail Hussein (fancy THAT last name) issue.

I threw in the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Press (Agence France Presse) just cuz they're, well, French.

Posted by: Vinnie at 05:19 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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December 18, 2006

BSCC: Excuse Yourself Edition.(Updated Fatawas Issued)

Yerin Eyerak. yer havin vittles with John Kerry. Excuse yersef from the table without insultin the cook..

No Gatway Pundit, it's not too late for a contest.

Update: Link Fixed Fatwas Issued.

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against USA, all the way! Michael Weaver
for:

This stuff is great! If I fix up a plate, and hurry, I can get this wonderful stuff to my wife before her scheduled break is over. Then she can enjoy it fresh and hot! No! Don't get up John ... I'll just be on my way, You stay right where you are ...

The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies fatwa issued against Nancy Grove for:

Sorry to have to dash off Senator, but we heard that a few of the Code Pink girls were here and well, you know they support us as much as you do...

The "why you insult holly quoran" fatwa issued against
Graeme for:

Whadya know - looks like some rain's coming. I should go make sure that all the windows on my tank are rolled up.

Nice try but no fatwa, try following the rules fatwa issued against Jeff Bargholz for:

John Kerry honors our troops by eating their food while they're out on patrol.

"You Suck" fatwa issued against myself for breaking Gateway Pundit's link (Sorry, about that).

I Better late than never. Fatwas also issued for our 9/3 Convert to Islam or Die Edition. more...

Posted by: Howie at 01:30 PM | Comments (30) | Add Comment
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1 Link to gatewaypundit is missing its final el in "HTML".
This link works.
[Or should, if I finally got the dang Blogger link insert dialog to do what I told it to.]

Posted by: refugee at December 17, 2006 04:22 PM (ya+0h)

2 Excuse me Senator, but when you get elected president are you going to bring your horse into the Senate and name him as your replacement?

Sorry, but I've got a horrible case of the crabs and need to pick them off of my balls. Would like to stay and chit-chat, but time, tide, and crabs wait for no one.

Posted by: Perplexed at December 17, 2006 04:23 PM (nzqB7)

3 "This stuff is great! If I fix up a plate, and hurry, I can get this wonderful stuff to my wife before her scheduled break is over. Then she can enjoy it fresh and hot! No! Don't get up John ... I'll just be on my way, You stay right where you are ..."

USA, all the way!

Posted by: Michael Weaver at December 17, 2006 04:33 PM (2OHpj)

4 "Damn. Kerry already spilled his f@#&!% ketchup all over the table!"

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 17, 2006 05:17 PM (bLPT+)

5 "Is he going to try and shower with us too?"

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 17, 2006 05:18 PM (bLPT+)

6 "Sorry to have to dash off Senator, but we heard that a few of the Code Pink girls were here and well, you know they support us as much as you do..."

Posted by: Nancy Grove at December 17, 2006 05:26 PM (SrkHB)

7 "Where is my caviar? Do you know who I am? I'm a US Senator! I married the richest dowager in the world! I should be President!"

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 17, 2006 05:31 PM (bLPT+)

8 "If you were clever and educated like me, you wouldn't be here in Iraq. Why am I here? I voted to eat breakfast before I voted against it!"

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 17, 2006 05:38 PM (bLPT+)

9 "Where are the white flags? I have a 7 point plan."

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 17, 2006 05:39 PM (bLPT+)

10 Whadya know - looks like some rain's coming. I should go make sure that all the windows on my tank are rolled up.

Posted by: Graeme at December 17, 2006 05:53 PM (jwvcs)

11 "If I was wearing my magic hat they'd be looking at me with respect."

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at December 17, 2006 07:27 PM (Z3kjO)

12 "Hey guys, this yellow arm bracelet means I give oral sex. Why wont anybody sit next to me?"

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 17, 2006 07:31 PM (bLPT+)

13 Kerry supports the troops by eating PFC Gomer's food while he's in the john.

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 17, 2006 07:34 PM (bLPT+)

Kerry's last supper. He died shortly after from poison in his chow. The entire mess hall cheered wildly for 20 minutes, then dumped his body in the nearest latrine.

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 17, 2006 07:38 PM (bLPT+)

15 "You mean you eat with plastic utensils every day?"

"Why do you keep leaning back every time the guy wants to take a picture?"

Posted by: Fred Fry at December 17, 2006 08:22 PM (i6csM)

16 One of these things is not like the others;

...one of these things just doesn't belong...

Posted by: Mark at December 17, 2006 08:51 PM (jeusk)

17 "Fuck off you three pricked billy goat - I wouldn't piss up your asshole if your guts were on fire. By they way - what were John Astin and Caroyln Jones really like and how did Fester do that trick with the light bulb?"

Posted by: Max Power at December 17, 2006 09:52 PM (PM8kH)

18 "This jello is nice, but why aren't we raping civillians and razing villages in a fashion reminiscent of Ghengis Khan? Show me how you cut off ears, cut off heads, tape wires to human genitals and turn up the power, cut off limbs, blow up bodies, shoot at civilians, and poison food in addition to the normal ravage of war. I want...Hey! D you know who I am? Leggo! What are yo...eeeee! Nooo! AAAHHH! MOMMEEE!!!

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 17, 2006 10:38 PM (bLPT+)

19 John Kerry honors our troops by eating their food while they're out on patrol.

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 17, 2006 10:47 PM (bLPT+)

20 John Kerry eats alone in a crowded room.

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 17, 2006 10:48 PM (bLPT+)

21 "Ouch! I can't believe I cut myself with a plastic folk. Could I earn another Purple Heart for this?"

Posted by: Capp at December 18, 2006 12:40 AM (XgLFc)

22 Kerry deserves a real medal if he gets out of that mess hall alive.

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 18, 2006 12:46 AM (bLPT+)

23 Don't blame the cook, John. It tastes like shit cause we fixed up your plate special. Oh, I am so sorry. I suppose an educated person would have said it tastes like 'excrement', I do beg your pardon. And do you enjoy your warm lemonade ... ?

USA, all the way!

Posted by: Michael Weaver at December 18, 2006 05:42 AM (2OHpj)

24 "Soooo... did I tell you fellows that I served in Vietnam? ... You do know where Vietnam is, right?"

Posted by: Stewed Hamm at December 18, 2006 07:04 AM (IoR5s)

25 Thank you for the fatwa, but were all in this together (except Kerry). And death to AP!

USA, all the way!

Posted by: Michael Weaver at December 18, 2006 01:43 PM (2OHpj)

26 Can someone please remove the spam? I hope the spammer is being spammed in retaliation.

Its probably the work of Ketchup kerry's staff. They're still angry that their fake but accurate memo backfired.

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at December 18, 2006 07:04 PM (bLPT+)

27 What's this kerry sucking up to the troops, go away senator.

Posted by: Mathewk at December 19, 2006 05:40 AM (pVHqF)

28 Dear Webmaster! Your resource is in our spam list.Please email to astopae@yahoo.com Your site link and we remove Your resource from spambase.Othervise Your site hase been spammed every 15 minutes.Thank You for cooperations.

Posted by: Dear Webmaster! Your resource is in our spam list.Please email to astopae@yahoo.com Your site link at December 21, 2006 02:51 PM (n5yra)

29 kwvbzngh smnxdcb cjvly hyzjf uiptxe sxbgnv fwapdiex

Posted by: mswcpxkad opbewnsva at December 29, 2006 05:46 AM (JExWi)

30 e2vnuf1 url1-2 http://url1-2.com url1-4 http://url1-4.com

Posted by: url1-4 at January 10, 2007 09:50 PM (dmocv)

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December 17, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Poll: Geek Wars

It's time to settle it once and for all. Sticky post unto the end of the Sabbath, scroll down for more inanity while Rusty is gone.

Posted by: Vinnie at 11:54 AM | Comments (27) | Add Comment
Post contains 44 words, total size 1 kb.

December 08, 2006

Aw, Come On

Hey, we know we're not going to win, not up against the likes of Little Green Footballs.

But at least help us make it respectable.

Posted by: Vinnie at 12:30 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 28 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Remember, you can vote once PER DAY through December 15th.

And much to my surprise I got nominated too, although in a different category. Centrist? I'm not a damn centrist! Okay, maybe if you look at it upside down...

Posted by: Michael Hampton at December 08, 2006 02:29 AM (FVbj6)

2 Maybe piddledick can save you. I heard he's parachuteing out of a F-16 today over Burma. Something about saving the liberal babboons stranded in the forests.

Posted by: Greyrooster at December 08, 2006 02:40 AM (ezJiI)

3 Good night folks. We fished all day and didn't do any good. Can't fight mother nature.

Posted by: Greyrooster at December 08, 2006 02:41 AM (ezJiI)

4 I voted for you guys because Little Green Football does not believe in free speech. They banned me and accused me of being a "troll", just because I said I hated Islam and someone got miffed. I can be politcally incorrect here without someone getting peeved.

Posted by: FLLaw33870 at December 08, 2006 03:33 AM (38GUY)

5 I hate Islam too.

Posted by: Speaking for the Choir at December 08, 2006 05:00 AM (HSkSw)

6 The vote ain't working. Page does not render with radio buttons to select. Is this a leftist plot?

Posted by: aqvik at December 08, 2006 07:47 AM (GrNp+)

Oh, my heart does bleed! Forced to choose between LGF and the Jawa? That's just not fair.

Posted by: shank at December 08, 2006 09:09 AM (+H1yK)

8 Remember, you can vote once PER DAY through December 15th.

Once a day?What are we...Dimacrats?

Yeah...vote button not working for me either.

Posted by: Randman at December 08, 2006 09:10 AM (Sal3J)

9 I hate islam but I don't hate all muslims (I hate Liberalism too).

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at December 08, 2006 12:11 PM (8e/V4)

10 Ya'all are hateful. I love little baby ducks, old pick up trucks.... so on and so forth.

Posted by: Howie at December 08, 2006 01:27 PM (YdcZ0)

11 "Ya'all are hateful. I love little baby ducks, old pick up trucks.... so on and so forth." -- Howie

Isn't this a line from Brokeback Mountain?

Posted by: Speaking for the Choir at December 08, 2006 08:16 PM (HSkSw)

12 I've never seen Brokedick Mountain. I've heard Tom T Hall though.

Posted by: Howie at December 08, 2006 09:29 PM (YdcZ0)

13 I voted, but I have A.D.D

Can you please bump this once each day?

Thanks from ... ohhh! look at the birds ...

USA all the way!

Posted by: Michael Weaver at December 09, 2006 09:30 PM (2OHpj)

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October 28, 2006

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Bad Gay So Ronery Edition

Caption this photo taken from China across the border of North Korean soldiers "fooling around".

Fatwas issued Monday.

Rusty's caption: Impoverished North Korean scientists test a second atomic weapon....the atomic wedgie.

Posted by: Rusty at 10:25 PM | Comments (28) | Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.

Young soldiers trying to imitate the Dear Leader, who is always trying to fuck his people up the ass.

Posted by: Dill Doe at October 29, 2006 12:05 AM (HSkSw)

2 Ronery comrades take advantage of the reason his mother named him Dong Long.

Posted by: Vinnie at October 29, 2006 12:16 AM (/qy9A)

3 Caption in North Korean paper reads:

"Comrade Park, a soldier summarily convicted of treason for doing an impression of The Dear Leader, prepares to meet the same fate that awaited UN Weapons Inspector Hans Brix; being fed to The Dear Leader's pet sharks. Comrade Park's death was slow and painful, a fitting sentence for such a heinous crime."

"The Dear Leader's statement is as follows: 'Take dat Comrade Park!'"

Posted by: CanForce 101 at October 29, 2006 01:01 AM (xfvyZ)

4 Jesus...I wonder if this pic will end up having these guys executed. What a fucking hell hole.

Posted by: Randman at October 29, 2006 01:34 AM (Sal3J)

5 Soldier 1: "The arm is mine!"

Soldier 2: "I want a leg!"

The North Korean military begins to feel the effects of the nation's food shortages.

Posted by: Capp at October 29, 2006 02:23 AM (XgLFc)

6 Stop it you guys!! You can't waterboard me without any water!!

Posted by: Big White Infidel at October 29, 2006 03:09 AM (luvYt)

7 I swear, it wasn't me who put the Team America movie in Dear Leader's DVD player!!

Posted by: Big White Infidel at October 29, 2006 04:37 AM (luvYt)

8 "Higher! Lift him up higher, dammit! James Webb said he should be high enough to put his penis in my mouth."

Posted by: Stewed Hamm at October 29, 2006 05:43 AM (IoR5s)

9 Internet bloggers leaked the cover art for James Webb's new novel: In the DMZ

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at October 29, 2006 08:00 AM (DdRjH)

10 They're smiling? To the firing squad with them..........

Posted by: n.a. palm at October 29, 2006 08:28 AM (qpQ0J)

11 After reading Jim Webb's novel, Lost Soldiers, two North Korean soldiers attempt to recreate a scene by putting a third North Korean soldier's penis in their mouth.

Posted by: The Yelling Box at October 29, 2006 09:17 AM (rwH2Y)

12 Two North Korean soldiers interrogate a third on suspicion that he knows the secret to America's greatest power: division by zero

Posted by: Ranba Ral at October 29, 2006 09:38 AM (VvXII)

Just like food, energy and medical supplies, gay porno movie sets were devastated by the North Korean government's isolationist policies.

Posted by: Graeme at October 29, 2006 10:08 AM (v2yg4)

14 So, comrade, you like to piss in the rice pot? We will show you how much we like it.

Posted by: Capt. Hook at October 29, 2006 12:46 PM (nzqB7)

15 I get to top man this time!!!!!

Posted by: Darren at October 29, 2006 02:58 PM (38GUY)

16 We must have the corn in your shit, comrade! We are starving!

Posted by: Jeff Bargholz at October 29, 2006 04:57 PM (bLPT+)

17 At trial the defendants will claim that Kim Jong Il ordered the Code Red.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at October 29, 2006 06:11 PM (DdRjH)

18 North Korean soldiers 2nd attempt at nuclear fart from bad kimshee in effort to spook jittery Japanese for Halloween.

Posted by: Billy at October 29, 2006 08:25 PM (HQ9Vc)

19 All I did was ask for a cigarette, not a cigar!

Posted by: RepJ at October 29, 2006 08:26 PM (T3Wz2)

20 Two repressed North Korean soldiers try to get a look at another's dear leader.

Posted by: Don Long at October 29, 2006 11:04 PM (Hqw20)

21 pfft, typical slant eyed gooks up to no good. when we nuke china, korea, and japan this world will be a lot better off.

Posted by: Gooks Are Dogs at October 29, 2006 11:08 PM (Nhfns)

22 Go-ja!! Go-ja!! (Korean for 'a guy with a very small penis')

Posted by: Big White Infidel at October 29, 2006 11:56 PM (udS16)

You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!... but you keep it all inside

Posted by: PK at October 30, 2006 01:07 AM (hph70)

24 Listen Qwang....we need to do this...that candidate in Virginia James Webb said that doing this is not a sexual act, we are just checking your salt levels.

Posted by: Steve Sharon at October 30, 2006 09:06 AM (imwEl)

25 C'mon Park!! It's your turn to give Dear Leader, Cream of Sum Yung Guy!!

Posted by: Big White Infidel at October 30, 2006 12:19 PM (RewQG)

26 After a tough day of oppression, intimidation, and nuclear sabre-rattling, many North Korean soldiers like to unwind with a spirited game of Cooperative Asian Taint-Tickle Tag.

Posted by: Buckley F. Williams at October 30, 2006 03:28 PM (/XWKc)

27 Although panned by many critics as "a blatant rip-off of the original", Blokeback Mountin' did enjoy a certain amount of "cult classic" success in certain areas of Vermont and Northern California.

Posted by: Buckley F. Williams at October 30, 2006 03:34 PM (/XWKc)

28 Yeah those poor SOB's won't last long once Kim Song gets ahold of that photo! Mr. Song has not been in the best mood lately! LOL

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at October 31, 2006 08:12 AM (Dd86v)

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October 08, 2006

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest : Jawa Remote News Team Edition

Reuters has stringers. We have stringers.

Posted by: Howie at 03:54 PM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
Post contains 16 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Do not worry, Mr. Stringer! I will get you there as fastly as humanly possible so you can fauxtograph what the enemy isn't doing to us, fauxtoshop it and help us deceive the world. And I'm sorry about the smell. My wife's goat took the trouble to pass water on this motorcycle. Praise Allah swt and his Prophet Muhammad pbuh that it was not an elephant. Allahu Akbar!!!

Posted by: Big White Infidel at October 08, 2006 07:20 PM (UaNUN)

2 our stringer needs to make the JAWA logo a bit more discreet.... The pajamadeen are adept at detecting frauds...

(side note: next rapid motion shot, make sure motion blur option is checked in photoshop...)

Posted by: mrclark at October 08, 2006 07:48 PM (ESvxd)

3 Durk durk allah! Muhammed jihad. Bac, baclava. Hoc.Shirpa shirpa.

Posted by: Good lt at October 08, 2006 08:44 PM (l08va)

4 That's Vinnie riding bitch !

Posted by: Darth Vag at October 08, 2006 08:53 PM (HSkSw)

5 Tank you berry much, dis is much betta den old smelly camel.... Oh , ...and death to amerika..weeeeeeeeee!!!

Posted by: Billy at October 08, 2006 10:13 PM (nlgQw)

6 Darth Vag (aka Greg) lovingly embraces his mother as they ride away from their secret love-nest.

Posted by: Vinnie at October 09, 2006 02:12 AM (/qy9A)

7 WTF ? Mother ?

You think I'm a momma's boy ?

You forget I'm a fire-breathing Longhorn.
Geezus.

I may be a steer, but as for Greg, he's just a queer.

Posted by: Darth Vag at October 09, 2006 02:55 AM (HSkSw)

Hurry up and get me to the Green Helmet Fauxto session!! Al-Reuters and Hizbullah are providing free punch and pie, and I might actually get to see some real victims!!

Posted by: Big White Infidel at October 09, 2006 04:14 AM (KVq9p)

9 You guys are bigots.

Posted by: Rhyleh at October 09, 2006 05:55 AM (Q+ifs)

10 Is a bias against muslim extremism bigotry?

Posted by: SeeMonk at October 09, 2006 07:50 AM (7teJ9)

11 ^{"You guys are bigots."}

That hurts our feewings.

Posted by: Good Lt at October 09, 2006 09:43 AM (yT+NK)

12 You guys are bigots.

You're damn right. I'm a bigot when it comes to radical islam. I can't stand a damn one of them, and I'm of the bigoted opinion that they need to be dealt with, before they return the World to the 7th C. I don't want the World to go back there.

Posted by: jesusland joe at October 09, 2006 12:02 PM (rUyw4)

13 The Arab version of Evel Knievel, known as "Jew Kajew," prepares to jump over 16 flaming Israeli school buses...

Posted by: wooga at October 09, 2006 01:38 PM (tAB8A)

14 Here's the thing that makes you bigoted - your comments seem to suggest that you view ALL MUSLIMS AS EXTREMISTS. This is the very height of irony, as your assumption 1) shows your deep-seated bigotry against people you claim to want to liberate and 2) marks you as prejudiced extremists.

Posted by: Rhyleh at October 09, 2006 03:32 PM (Q+ifs)

15 Rhyleh: Hey dumbass this is a caption contest lighten up. No serious discussiion allowed. Fucking retard

Posted by: Howie at October 09, 2006 03:37 PM (YdcZ0)

Screenshot of the new Iranian produced show "STRiNGS" featuring the adventures of motorcycle "journalists" Khaleed and his dashing partner Abdul al Poncherelo.

Posted by: Graeme at October 09, 2006 05:24 PM (jsohK)

17 Yes! Yes! Yes! I see several more a nice big bumps coming up towards your right, Abdul! I just loves the feel of my throbbing member as it penetrates ever deeper into your puckering chocolate alleyway Abdul! Allah Akbar! Allah Akbar! Oh Allah is sooo Great! Yes he is! Allah! Allah! Allah! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Posted by: Last gasp Larry at October 09, 2006 07:35 PM (Dd86v)

Yep, I'm a bigot. Intolerant against Islamotards.

Posted by: Big White Infidel at October 10, 2006 09:49 AM (T1CVr)

19 There's my editor. Quick!! Get me outta here before he finds out I'm getting 'real' news!!

Posted by: Big White Infidel at October 11, 2006 08:07 AM (MQaqg)

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October 02, 2006

Foley Email Altered

Wild Bill at Passionate America has discovered that one of the alleged Foley emails circulating among the MSM and leftwing blogs has been forged.

The two conflicting Foley emails come from Stop Sex Predators and citizens for responsibility and ethics in Washington (this one has since been removed by CREW).

The two emails are here. Wild Bill marked the differences he saw with red arrows. I've noticed a couple more, and marked them in green text. Click to enlarge.

Foley's resignation seems to indicate that the emails, even if one is fake, are accurate.

But why did someone go to the trouble of creating a fake?

Posted by: Bluto at 06:54 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 109 words, total size 1 kb.

1 No chance he sent similar emails to different boys. He seems like the creative type.

Posted by: actus at October 02, 2006 08:24 PM (NV0dI)

2 Because they want to make Hastert seem guilty. Their hatred has taken them to new lows.

Posted by: RepJ at October 02, 2006 08:24 PM (XlkAj)

3 I don't understand. Is this the entire email? If not, where's the whole thing? People on CNN are saying the original email has him asking about a guy with a "good body" and another person I know thinks the email contains explicit language asking the kid if he had his underwear on, and if so to take it off. To me it sounds like she's confusing the emails with the Internet Messages, and the Dems are exploiting that sort of confusion. If so, the best way to stop the hemorrhage is to print the entire email, or alledged email.

Posted by: Demosophist at October 02, 2006 08:53 PM (hSo4/)

4 What does this have to do with DEM's or REP's! It's about right and wrong, up and down, moral and hypocrit!

Spare me the left right BS!

Posted by: fred flint at October 02, 2006 09:40 PM (Lh6n4)

5 Republican fag congressman gets busted for making the moves on a teenage boy...Co-Chairman of the Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus...of all things

I mean, even if you try you could not make this shit up....

Posted by: mighty7 at October 03, 2006 01:05 AM (6rMpn)

6 The homophobia had to creep up somwhere.

Posted by: actus at October 03, 2006 07:40 AM (NV0dI)

7 read

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/BrianRoss/story?id=2509586&page=1

Guess he was going for the Youth Vote. OMG.LOL.

Posted by: Nando Towe at October 03, 2006 12:35 PM (khQ4Z)

8 read

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/BrianRoss/story?id=2509586&page=1

Guess he was going for the Youth Vote. OMG.LOL.

Posted by: Nando Towe at October 03, 2006 12:36 PM (khQ4Z)

9 What in the dickens has this got to do with the Democrats using the information for "political" purposes? It SHOULD be used for political purposes because it is now becoming known that House leaders KNEW about Foley and now all of them are throwing blame around to everyone else.

Before this is over, they will probably be blaming Clinton.

Posted by: Will at October 04, 2006 04:30 PM (dbG/F)

10 I find this a little puzzling that this information was known by someone over two years ago but they just happened to wait until just before the November elections to bring this out.
Also, how many people save their instant messages, I know I sure don't. My kids text message all the time, they NEVER save their messages.I realize that this Congressman has some very serious problems, and I sure would'nt want the baxxxrd hanging out with my teenage son
but it seems to me there is a lot more blame to go around here. I also think that these teenagers
thought Foley was a wacko and were encouraging him on purpose. Why, I don't know. But why did they save their instant messages?

Posted by: Chris at October 04, 2006 09:14 PM (BAbav)

11 I find this a little puzzling that this information was known by someone over two years ago but they just happened to wait until just before the November elections to bring this out.
Also, how many people save their instant messages, I know I sure don't. My kids text message all the time, they NEVER save their messages.I realize that this Congressman has some very serious problems, and I sure would'nt want the baxxxrd hanging out with my teenage son
but it seems to me there is a lot more blame to go around here. I also think that these teenagers
thought Foley was a wacko and were encouraging him on purpose. Why, I don't know. But why did they save their instant messages?

Posted by: Chris at October 04, 2006 09:21 PM (BAbav)

12 According to Hastert, the only thing anyone had prior knowledge was the e-mail(s). According to him, he only learned last Friday about the Instant Messages, which were sexually graphic. At this point, it doesn't matter what the facts are because perception is reality and the Republicans have to give Hastert the boot. He has gotten to a point where he has unlived his usefullness and he is only doing damage to the party. If Trent Lott can be destroyed by his "outrageous comments" regarding Strom Thurmand, anybody is fare game.

Posted by: Stan at October 05, 2006 12:38 PM (ok4IG)

13 According to Hastert, the only thing anyone had prior knowledge was the e-mail(s). According to him, he only learned last Friday about the Instant Messages, which were sexually graphic. At this point, it doesn't matter what the facts are because perception is reality and the Republicans have to give Hastert the boot. He has gotten to a point where he has unlived his usefullness and he is only doing damage to the party. If Trent Lott can be destroyed by his "outrageous comments" regarding Strom Thurmand, anybody is fare game.

Posted by: Stan at October 05, 2006 12:39 PM (ok4IG)

14 GOP=Guard Our Pedophiles

Posted by: Curious at October 07, 2006 10:23 AM (YjwOC)

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October 01, 2006

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest : Most Offensive Blog Post Ever Edition.

Since we have been taking some criticism over our offensivness to Islam from â€œsome peopleâ€ the rules this week are. Name or explain just what figure A. represents. No mention of Islam or Muslims allowed. There is a correct answer and yours must be both offensive and funny. Non-funny offensive comments may not stay ;) Fatwas will be issued. Get yours.

Fatwas issued for our last contest.

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against... Adam's Mom for:

Oh, Adam, couldn't you have just joined the Scientologists or some nice Hare Krishna group instead?

The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa issued againstâ€¦Jonathan Johnstone for:

Adam, what flavour is my bayonette?

The "why u insult holly quoran?" fatwa issued against Jack's Smirking Revenge for:

Bollocks. Bolshy great yarblockos to thee and thine.

Disclaimer(for our new readers): The titles for our Fatwas are actual statements from our reader love mail, mostly from our tolerant Muslim friends in Turkey.

Update :Fatwas issued!

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against...pivalleygirl for:

It's Bill Clinton who just swallowed the cigar he was licking.

The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa issued againstâ€¦Darth
Vag for:

Ron Jeremy on a Halal diet !

The "why u insult holly quoran?" fatwa issued against Stan the Infidel for:

I'm sorry Mistress Hillary, I'm choking on your IUD!!"

Answer: Fig A represents a little Ethiopian kid choking to death on a grain of rice. more...

Posted by: Howie at 12:03 PM | Comments (38) | Add Comment
Post contains 264 words, total size 2 kb.

September 03, 2006

BSCC Convert to Islam or Die Edition.

Allahpundit has the videos of al-Qaedaâ€™s demands on America. Convert or Die. Al-Zawahiri is using Adam who speaks English so that he can be sure that we understand his terms. Post your reply so that Adam can clearly translate back to Zawahiri just how you feel about his â€œdemandsâ€.

Related post here at The Counter Terrorism Blog. And a quote from the Video via Powerline.

"Instead of killing yourself for Bush ... why not surrender to the truth (of Islam), escape from the unbelieving army and join the winning side. Time is running out so make the right choice before it's too late," he said.

Fatwas issued for our last contest.

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against...Jesusland Joe for:

All you capitalist corporate pigs shall die......except Adidas. It is owned by my best friend Hugo Chavez, I think.

The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa issued against See Dubya for:

Weekend at Fidel's

The "why u insult holly quoran?" fatwa issued against Jeff Metcalf for:

Reuters photograph by Adnan Hajj.

Pic From this post American al Qaeda Traitor Adam Gadahn Appears on al Qaeda 7/7 Tributeexplaining why killing Americans and Brits is justified.

Fatwas will be issued one of these days. Rusty, you want to reconsider leaving Islam just so you can eat pork chops? more...

Posted by: Howie at 11:20 AM | Comments (25) | Add Comment
Post contains 248 words, total size 2 kb.

1 This bastard needs to be trampled by a herd of TEXAS LONGHORNS.

Posted by: Darth Vag at September 03, 2006 11:57 AM (HSkSw)

2 "Post your reply so that Adam can clearly translate back to Zawahiri"

Howie, as it turns out, I can actually give a few replies of sorts to Alzawahri in his own ugly repugnant language:
"Al-khenazir ashraf min al-Muslimin"
which means "Pigs are nobler than Muslims".

Or you could say:
"Al-mout lil-Islam wal fat'h lil-Demoqrati'yah"
which means "Death to Islam and Victory for Democracy.

My Arabic is really rusty, but I'll try and think of a few more.

Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at September 03, 2006 12:24 PM (Bp6wV)

3 Sorry douchebags. If I wanted to convert to a religion where I get to wear stuff on my head, grow facial hair, use guns and get 72 babes, I'll start worshipping Burt Reynolds.

Posted by: Graeme at September 03, 2006 12:53 PM (e/Y+D)

4 He looks like the guy who cleans out our septic tank.

Posted by: Stan the Infidel in Indonesia at September 03, 2006 01:15 PM (UUo+f)

5 Adam neglected to mention how the peaceful Islam is behind massacres in Darfur or how peaceful Muslims opened fire on children in Palestine to enforce a teachers strike.
Adam/assman or whatever you refer to yourself as I say shave your beard you hateful hippie,go on a diet and regect Islam before you find yourself before God trying to explain why you choose to side with a Guy(Zawaheri) with a fucking horn growing out of the middle of his head.

Posted by: tarzan at September 03, 2006 01:30 PM (dz4G5)

6 Hey, he's just excercising his freedom of speech, just like all the lefturds that burn the flag. And don't even think about questioning his patriotism.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at September 03, 2006 01:35 PM (v3I+x)

7 Nuts!

Posted by: fred at September 03, 2006 01:40 PM (GLHuW)

8 Grand Alliance of Jews, Christians, Hindus and Sikhs

It is time to form a Grand Alliance of Jews, Christians, Hindus and Sikhs to fight and resist the clear and unacceptable Islamic threat to our cultures and our democratic ways. If our governments and leaders won't properly recognize the threat and defend us, then we owe it to our families to rise to our own defense. Spread the word throughout the internet, and let this idea take root and grow.

Let us ally ourselves, and give those who threaten our safety the jihad they so desire - culturally, politically, and physically - before it is too late.

"Lead, don't appease." Please stop the West from committing suicide.

- Rosemont

Posted by: Rosemont at September 03, 2006 01:49 PM (s7QxY)

9 a gand alliance with Jews, Christians and Hindus means one thing to me:no more Bacon Cheese burgers =[
would this alliance bring about the "Super Holy War" Hinduism is pretty much slated to win since they have the most Gods.

Posted by: tarzan at September 03, 2006 01:56 PM (dz4G5)

10 Islams not for me

http://www.faithfreedom.org/audio/Islamsnot4me.htm

We can't take this muslim wanna-be serious. He doesn't even have a decent rug burn on his forhead!!

Posted by: Mrs Abe Froman at September 03, 2006 02:27 PM (EobTj)

11 "How fashionable" fatboy loser from orange county finds ultimate way to piss off his parents by joining al queda, Hope he's wearing real absorbent bulletproof underwear when he makes makes contact with his first well equipped highly motivated Marine, Things are gonna get real real fast.

Posted by: Dadzilla at September 03, 2006 02:47 PM (3LW3J)

12 Why would anyone want to convert to a religion with such dreadful fashion sense? Islam is for nerds.

Posted by: Jester at September 03, 2006 03:56 PM (TuAMG)

13 What does he mean by, ""Time is running out so make the right choice before it's too late," he said."" ??

Is the world going to end.. again? phooey.

Posted by: JeepThang at September 03, 2006 06:20 PM (yZQoS)

14 TELL THIS AMERICAN JACKASS, THAT WHEN HE IS CAPTURED, AS HE WILL BE, HIS VIDEO WILL BE THE BEST EVIDENCE AGAINST HIM, EVEN IF THE ACLU SAYS IT IS FREE SPEECH. HE WILL FOLLOW THE TRAIL OF OTHER TRAITORS, ALL OF WHOM ULTIMATELY LOST, LIKE THE BRITISH LORD HAW-HAW DURING W. W. II, AND TOKYO ROSE, AND TOO MANY OTHERS TO NAME HERE. THEY WILL ALL BE CAUGHT INCLUDING OSAMA BIN LADEN HIMSELF, AS THE SHADOW CREEPS CLOSER DAY BY DAY, JUST AS TODAY IN IRAQ, OSAMA'S NO. TWO WAS CAUGHT. AS THE AMERICAN BOXER, JOE LOUIS, SAID, 'YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE." THEIR DAY IS COMING.
JERRY BORIS PHILA

Posted by: JERRY BORIS at September 03, 2006 06:40 PM (RloC0)

15 Hahaha, Adam probably takes his coffee breaks in a cave with Ali Baba and his forty goats. Live with the goats long enough, Adam, and you begin to look and smell like one. Adam is seeking his Islamic roots, reverting to goat banging. How funny!

Posted by: jesusland joe at September 03, 2006 06:51 PM (rUyw4)

16 Bring it on goat fucker.
When I get a hold of you it will take you at least 3-4 days to die an exremely painful death.

Maybe 5-6 days.

Posted by: 1sttofight at September 03, 2006 07:09 PM (B86ih)

17 I'm with Fred. Nuts! Now Adam will have to explain where that came from.

Posted by: SeeMonk at September 03, 2006 10:04 PM (n4VvM)

18
Don't even understand why the dingbats in the media give two minutes to this fairy tale shit.

Posted by: greyrooster at September 03, 2006 10:16 PM (1bd8g)

19 Bollocks. Bolshy great yarblockos to thee and thine.

Posted by: Jack'sSmirkingRevenge at September 03, 2006 10:30 PM (CtVG6)

20 I've got my response -- in bold at the bottome of this post overat my site.

http://rhymeswithright.mu.nu/archives/195098.php

There is no God but God; and Jesus Christ is His only begotten Son.
Allah is simply Satan, and Muhammad is his false prophet.

Posted by: Rhymes With Right at September 04, 2006 12:01 AM (oJTOT)

21 Evil wicked mulim terrorists will force us all into their evil ideas through forced conversion and wheres the UN to object to this wheres th worthless no good UN to lodge a complaint about this?

Posted by: sandpiper at September 04, 2006 08:30 AM (AFJdY)

22 Because it fits their anti-Western, anti-Christian, anti-capitalist, anti-White, anti-everthing-good-and-decent agenda Rooster. Liberals are scum and should all be shot.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at September 04, 2006 08:32 AM (v3I+x)

23 I'm not going to convert to Islam. I intend to fight.

Posted by: Leatherneck at September 05, 2006 03:02 PM (D2g/j)

24 Adam, what flavour is my bayonette ?

Posted by: Jonathan Johnstone at September 05, 2006 08:49 PM (e2x7S)

25 SeeMonk: I know where the "nuts" quote came from. Just not going to let the cat out of the bag. So many academic scholars here. Wonder if they know?

Posted by: greyrooster at September 06, 2006 07:18 PM (5OGpF)

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August 13, 2006

BSCC This Wax Figure Is Alive Edition

And the paper too. Can you say photoshop?

Fatwas issued for last week's contest:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against...The Gentle Cricket for:

Pay je Ganta Solo un Wookie!"
translated"Bring me Solo and the Wookie."

The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa issued against Dan for:

I'd really like to see that picture of you with Abraham Lincoln!

The "why u insult holly quoran?" fatwa issued against Thaitied for:

Why Helen, you are looking wonderful!
Formaldehyde?

Me no understand how clicky thing on mouse works fatwa issued against EKW

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This week's photo:

Fatwas issued in next week's edition.

Related and funny too. more...

Posted by: Howie at 02:04 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
Post contains 135 words, total size 1 kb.

August 06, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Oh No He Di'n't Edition

Fatwas issued for last week's contest:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa...

USMC Shooter for: "This is how you get Isaac to make new episodes of the love boat."

The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa...

skald for: "Does my Hepatitis make me look fat?"

The "why u insult holly quoran?" fatwa...

Rodney Dill: "Does this make my ass look Fatwa?"

The I like his comments at Ace's blog fatwa:

BumperStickerist: "For my next TV role I play a Rear Admiral"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This week's photo:

Fatwas issued in next week's edition.

Posted by: Vinnie at 12:17 PM | Comments (38) | Add Comment
Post contains 104 words, total size 1 kb.

July 30, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Does This Thong Make My Ass Look Fat? Edition

Just what is Pamela Anderson saying to this man, who is not Kid Rock, on a yacht near France (go figure) right before she's supposed to get married?

I might issue fatwas, but I don't see the need really. You pervos will have a field day with this.

Not that I'm not a pervo, or anything.

Posted by: Vinnie at 01:14 AM | Comments (47) | Add Comment
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July 17, 2006

The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Who's Smiling Now? Edition **Fatwas Issued**

Caption this photo of a Lebanese woman celebrating the Hizzbutthole'a kidnapping of 2 Israeli soldiers.

Fatwas will be issued.

(I'm getting the hang of this...I didn't say when)

This was a toughie, but our 3 judge panel has made its decisions.

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa:

Venom, for: "Say another word about my man-hands and I'll bitch-slap you with frick and frack here."

The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa:

Improbulus Maximus, for: "Now I can shoot myself in both feet at the same time! Praise Allah!"

The "why you insult holly quoran" fatwa:

Jesusland Carlos, for: "Say hello to my little friends."

Normally, we stop at three, but I er we couldn't resist throwing a little extra credit fatwa.

The special "ha ha ur arse throws up for blasphemi i hope u make you pants brown*" gratuitous show tunes fatwa:

Rhymes With Right, for: "I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!
I feel pretty and witty and gay!
And I pity
Any girl who kills no Jews today!"

*Special thanks to our token Islamotard Walid.

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