1
"Huh - do you really think you can drink all day and all night and still out-run me?"
-OR-
"I blame Bush and Global Warming for this!"
-OR-
"The names Gored -- Al Gored"
Posted by: thaitied at July 09, 2006 03:09 AM (TfTAE)
2
Poor college students, already hit hard by Bush's cuts in education funding, are reduced to supplementing their incomes by participating in the Army's new Ass Armor field tests.
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at July 09, 2006 11:47 AM (8e/V4)
14
Damn that Andrew Sullivan, always making a spectacle of himself.
Posted by: Robert at July 09, 2006 12:34 PM (pCBxo)
15
North Korea's son of The Great Leader Kim Jong Il ,Kim Poop Shoot,
"cracks up" the crowd at a local rock concert in Tiajuana!
Madeline Albright was passed out and unavailable for comment.
Posted by: Jihadgene at July 09, 2006 12:37 PM (ywiyu)
16
Sir, you don't need a proctologist, you need a veterinarian, or better still, a Phd in music...
That's a HORN down there.
Posted by: n.a.palm at July 09, 2006 12:49 PM (nzNyV)
17
I said I liked horned-rimmed "glasses," not ass's ... dayum!
Posted by: Dan Riehl at July 09, 2006 12:52 PM (7e1m4)
18
Ooooooo Rusty! Now that is definitely gonna leave a mark! Have fun on your vacation!
Posted by: hondo at July 09, 2006 12:55 PM (MVgHp)
19
Having had enough with the with the insurgents, coalition forces counter with a new offensive. Coalition bulls were released into the streets of Iraq. The plan seems to be working with no coalition bull casulties although hundereds of insurgents with sore asses were reported.
Posted by: JustPlainJoe at July 09, 2006 02:11 PM (Ysogo)
20
"And that, my son, is why I now have a colostomy bag."
HOWEVER, THE WINNER IS:
With alcohol clouding his judgement, Steve decided to show his friends that gerbils are for amateurs.
24
Conservative Catholic bull engages in ironic protest of the legalization of gay marriage in Spain...
Posted by: jd at July 09, 2006 10:07 PM (DQYHA)
25
The Bull says:
In N Out Burger? You want an In N Out Burger?
I'll give you a ##*%ing In N Out Burger.
Is this extreme enough for ya? You La La land skateboarding punk.
The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: But Don't Call Them Unpatriotic Edition
I originally wasn't going to bother with the BSCC this week, it being a holiday weekend and all. My original plan was to head to the local B&N, or Borders, grab a copy of the holly quoran*, and take it out to the hinterlands for a little target practice. After the filthy Ottomans soiled the deckplates of the Sandcrawler, I was keen to find out what a .300 WinMag would do to Islam's holy book at various distances.
However, common sense prevailed when it came to me that a brand new copy of the Koran costs about the same as a case of beer. Someday I'll do what Aaron did and get one on Ebay.
Anyhoo, caption this photo of St. Cindy Of Our Perpetual Dingbat protesting in Vienna (a city nearly captured by the filthy Ottomans, btw), Austria.
Fatwas will be issued Independence Day.
Updated : Vinnie has tapped Howie to issue belated fatwas on this one. Any disagreements with said picks or our dragging asses should still be directed at Vinnie at the address on the contacts page.
So, let’s pick a winner!..hmm..hmm.hmm…dahtadee tee dee dum……
"i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Just Plain Joe for:
"In my right hand I have everything I own. In my left, my purpose in life."
"Devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa issued against Filthy Allah for:
“As much as I cannot stand this woman, she does have a nice pair of teeeeets for an ol filly.â€
Honorary right back atcha with a fatwa fatwa issued against Mr Venom for:
“Cindy Sheehan, with her army of supporters, demands another 15 minutes.â€
Posted by: Rodney Dill at July 02, 2006 08:21 AM (tGTSA)
6
Cindy (thinking): Why do I always get the feeling that Bush is watching me?"
(any reference that Cindy was actually thinking were only employed for comedic purposes, no brain cells were actually used or harmed by the subject of this picture.)
Posted by: Rodney Dill at July 02, 2006 08:25 AM (tGTSA)
7
Sheehan bitch: Gained attention by the death of her son who joined the military to get away from her.
Posted by: greyrooster at July 02, 2006 08:56 AM (N2Rg1)
19
"Save the truth! What the world needs now are lies, sweet lies."
Posted by: Glen at July 03, 2006 01:38 AM (PmiCb)
20
Wheeeee, this fun, Casey I never could have done it without you. wheeee! I'm mourning, wheeeee!!!
Posted by: Howie at July 03, 2006 06:18 AM (D3+20)
21
Cindy Sheehan is a complete tool for the left. I found this site that has a t-shirt of her titled "American Idiot." Finally somebody has the courage to offend the left! check it out here: politees.net!
Posted by: The Boodge at July 03, 2006 10:44 AM (ODg3W)
22
Cindy Sheehan is a complete tool for the left. I found this site that has a t-shirt of her titled "American Idiot." Finally somebody has the courage to offend the left! check it out here: politees.net!
Posted by: The Boodge at July 03, 2006 10:45 AM (ODg3W)
23
Cindy Sheehan is a complete tool for the left. I found this site that has a t-shirt of her titled "American Idiot." Finally somebody has the courage to offend the left! check it out here: politees.net!
Posted by: The Boodge at July 03, 2006 10:46 AM (ODg3W)
24
there may be peace between my old saggy boobs but nothing between my ears
Posted by: jarrod at July 03, 2006 12:33 PM (a1pg+)
25
Sorry about my comment coming up 3x, computer was acting up! I think Cindy's picture caused it to malfunction.
Posted by: The Boodge at July 03, 2006 04:41 PM (5AXjg)
26
Wait! Penis come back! It's only a picture! Dammit......not again.
Posted by: Graeme at July 03, 2006 05:39 PM (0IQoU)
27
Cindy Sheehan, with her army of supporters, demands another 15 minutes.
Posted by: Venom at July 04, 2006 09:27 AM (gtzil)
Posted by: cobalt blue at June 11, 2006 01:07 AM (cJXpZ)
5
"Lies! I tell you it's all lies! Zarqawi is still alive. He is right behind this curtain. All I have to do is open this curtain and you shall see he is still alive. He is right behind this curtain I tell you. You shall see ... What's that? What means this 'Duck. Incom-
Posted by: Remy Logan at June 11, 2006 01:09 AM (T9XF+)
6...oh holy Mujahideen, you the fearless Lions of Islam, with regret I inform you, that our warrior Zaqawi has claimed his seventy-two virgins in paradise.
One of the things given to me, by my Abu, was my 'pious callous' it was caused by the slapping of the lions, holy nutsack against my forehead for hours.
Ah Abu, or 'mighty rimmer' as I called him, I remember fondly the things he could do with a date,masking tape and a rubber glove by Allah
Posted by: davec at June 11, 2006 01:56 AM (CcXvt)
11
Andrew Sullivan told me he likes my facial hair but the flowing robes were a little metro for his taste.
Posted by: Darth Vag at June 11, 2006 05:51 AM (+nlyI)
12
I trained as a surgeon in an attempt to constructively redirect my basal Islamic impulse to cut throats...
Posted by: Darth Vag at June 11, 2006 05:54 AM (+nlyI)
13
Andrew Sullivan is my bearded ally.
He is helpful to our cause.
Even though the total number of US troops involved in murder and torture is just about 10 out of 140,000 (0.0000625), he impugns all US troops, and the US command structure, for the crimes of a few.
God help him.
Posted by: Darth Vag at June 11, 2006 06:06 AM (+nlyI)
Posted by: Darth Vag at June 11, 2006 06:26 AM (+nlyI)
15
...oh, you're asking about the dent in my forehead? That was from Sheikh Osama trying to get Sullivanish on me.
Posted by: Darth Vag at June 11, 2006 06:47 AM (+nlyI)
16
Al Qaeda might not winning, but our fan base at dailykos remains strong!
Posted by: Darth Vag at June 11, 2006 06:48 AM (+nlyI)
17
"With Brother Zarqawi and his undependable membership fee payments gone, the organisation finds itself with a large hole in its funding, so for the next six months we shall be experimenting with a new format. Firstly, these videos will be pay-per-view. Secondly, as incentive to watch, I shall slowly remove my clothing as I issue my threats and hype our accomplishments. How far will I go? You'll just have to tune in to find out. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go cancel my cable subscription. You can thank Ummah and Garden TV and my wives for the lame ass backdrop. "Oh Ayman, you'll love what we did with your broadcast room. Ak-47s against the wall just aren't Feng Shui." You in the West mock us about our goats, but you have no idea about the kind of camelcrap we married jihadis have to put up with."
Posted by: Graeme at June 11, 2006 06:50 AM (QO12b)
20
"This happened when I went "DOH!" one too many times"
Posted by: Laura at June 11, 2006 08:21 AM (WeRWZ)
21
Oh infidels, I do not fear you! Your bombs are useless against me, inshallah. You don't believe me? Observe the dent in my forehead caused by an infidel bomb bouncing harmlessly off my skull. It stung a bit and left a mark, but am I not still among the living? Am I not speaking to you now on Al-Jazeera? I do not fear your infidel bobms for Allah protects me an you cannot kill me, oh infidels!
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at June 11, 2006 08:41 AM (8e/V4)
22
There once was a man named Zawahiri,
Of him and his ilk, please be leery.
He looked up to sky,
And said "Why, Allah, why?"
Now his carcass is all nice and smeary.
Posted by: astuddis at June 11, 2006 09:46 AM (+4CC2)
23
There once was a man named Zawahiri,
Of him and his ilk, please be leery.
He looked up to the sky,
And said "Why, Allah, why?"
Now his carcass is all nice and smeary.
Posted by: astuddis at June 11, 2006 09:46 AM (+4CC2)
24"Pay no attention to the Jewish stars on the curtain behind me. We're just making do while we reconstruct a new safehouse."
Posted by: Oyster at June 11, 2006 11:52 AM (YudAC)
25
I have prepared my forehead for the next bomb the infidels will drop on me.
Posted by: Leovinus at June 11, 2006 01:49 PM (I42Iw)
I'm a little teapot short and stout,
Here is my handle and here is my turban ..
give me a whirl, girl. Cheap thrills all around.
or
What do I hear bid for this binding across my chest? This binding is made from authentic, double-strength isamofascist duct tape that will hold any camel in place for hours of allahu snackbar pain and pleasure.
or
Camel. Camel? Did someone mention camel? Which way did he go, which way did he go?
Posted by: Bubbe at June 11, 2006 03:27 PM (vZBQO)
32
Who the hell would wish to fuck a muslim. They stink like pig shit. That's why they don't eat pork. Then they double stink. Outlaw Islam. Its members are dirty and smell bad.
Posted by: greyrooster at June 12, 2006 10:45 AM (fDZgg)
33
No you won't fuck me or us. We're a bit more feisty than your little arab boys who stand like a gazelle for you. Hear that whistling overhead?
Posted by: Howie at June 12, 2006 10:46 AM (NdGSM)
34
"Hello? Is the microphone on? Hello? Should I begin?
On the goooood ship, The Jihad
Where the decks run red with the infidels' blood...
Abdul, I don't think the mic works. And the curtains are filthy! And my beard is a mess! How will I ever land a spot on Survivor: Jihad Edition with all these problems?! I'm so angry I could kill myself!"
Posted by: Venom at June 12, 2006 11:42 AM (dbxVM)
35
Ayman: "I tell you now. This dent on my forehead is from repeatedly being smacked with Osamma's pelvis, ok? I keep telling the bitch to stay still and let me do all the work - but noooo!"
BTW, Gotta love the name of the producers "AsS-ahab".
Posted by: JustPlainJoe at June 12, 2006 11:46 AM (Xj6+u)
11
The French, in their jealousy of the success of the Hollywood movie "Being John Malkovich", create their own cinematique called, "In the Skin of Jacques Chirac" whereby poseurs can enter a portal into Chirac's mind and pretend to be him as he pretends to be Richard Nixon.
Posted by: Oyster at June 04, 2006 01:09 PM (YudAC)
12
I fawted! Twice! The flag shows which direction is downwind.
Posted by: RepJ at June 04, 2006 01:53 PM (Ffvoi)
13
As he stepped out onto the balcony, the aroma of cigarettes, garlic and horse and pickle sandwiches assaulting his nose, Richard Nixon realised that he had fallen for God's "Hey wanna be President again?" practical joke.
Posted by: Graeme at June 04, 2006 03:56 PM (vAvNd)
1
I find it ironic that they would deride the Statue of Liberty by showing it (and by extension, the country) as a terrorist. In so doing, they are deriding themselves. Unless, for some warped reason, a Palestinian wearing a bomb belt and carrying an AK47 = good and being American wearing a bomb belt and carrying an AK47 = bad? Then we have the pissing on a statue carrying a book titled Democracy. Didn't they just have democratic elections they're so proud of?
Depicting us as what they are somehow strikes me as hypocritical.
Posted by: Oyster at June 02, 2006 04:38 AM (YudAC)
2
Oh, I get it. Just because they voted for Hamas that means we're supposed to give Hamas money. See, that's how democracy works! If they voted for Hitler that means he was elected democratically and we're supposed to support him! The fact that we don't give Hamas money is proof that democracy is a sham. That's how their primitive thinking goes.
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at June 02, 2006 06:55 AM (8e/V4)
4
The Palestinians have been their own worst enemy for quite some time. If only they had been led by Mandela instead of Arafat.
Posted by: jd at June 02, 2006 04:19 PM (aqTJB)
5
>>>If only they had been led by Mandela instead of Arafat.
jd,
impossible. It's not just an accident that the palestinians have leaders like Arafat and Hamas. You see, Mandela represented his people's desire to live in peace with white folks. No such desire to live in peace with their neighbors is found amongst the palestinians. It certainly does not represent their views. So Arafat was the natural consequece of that, and political parties like Hamas naturally and organically take root and assume power. They truly do represent the aspirations of the palestinian people. Mandela or Ghandi were never an option.
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at June 03, 2006 09:20 AM (8e/V4)
The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Rusty In England Edition **Fatwas Issued**
Caption this photo of Islamofascists realizing that Rusty was there, and they failed to kill him.
Fatwas issued.
Someday. Usually on Monday. But, Venom controls that.
FATWAS ISSUED!!!!
i will cut ur neck fatwa:
Brad, for:
Four Islamic Students react after an unsuccessful beheading attempt on Dr. Rusty Shackelford.
Muhammad: Let us not tell anyone of our ass beating by the great Satan Rusty Shackelford.
Abdullah: The roundhouse kicks to my groin prevented me from cutting his head off.
Nassar: Why did he keep yelling “bad gay soombithch†over and over as he was punching me?
Mibalz Izhary: Is he really coming back “fortnightly†to kick our ass? How often is that anyway?
devil will do meetballs from your bodies fatwa:
Graeme, for:
As Kofi Annan would soon learn, Rusty's repeated use of his "pull my finger for 72 virgins" joke had set back the 'Alliance of Civilisations' program by 50 years.
Posted by: Last gasp Larry at May 21, 2006 08:51 AM (FCC6c)
10
As Kofi Annan would soon learn, Rusty's repeated use of his "pull my finger for 72 virgins" joke had set back the 'Alliance of Civilisations' program by 50 years.
Posted by: Graeme at May 21, 2006 08:51 AM (9kpep)
11
Four Islamic Students react after an unsuccessful beheading attempt on De. Rusty Shackelford.
Muhammad: Let us not tell anyone of our ass beating by the great Satan Rusty Shackelford.
Abdullah: The roundhouse kicks to my groin prevented me from cutting his head off.
Nassar: Why did he keep yelling “bad gay soombithch†over and over as he was punching me?
Mibalz Izhary: Is he really coming back “fortnightly†to kick our ass? How often is that anyway?
19
Four very stupid people crazy glued their hands to their faces yesterday when they were first introduced to the little miracle product in a tube. They will probably be stuck in this position for another six days since they usually only wash weekly.
Posted by: Steve Sharon at May 21, 2006 10:17 PM (c+ub6)
20
Hanan Ashrawi and Helen Thomas jello wrestling... again?!?
Posted by: Aaron's cc: at May 21, 2006 11:00 PM (ov6Vw)
21
Islamic women hide their faces in shame as they are in public without burqa's
(does sorta explain the need for burqa's to begin with)
Posted by: Rodney Dill at May 22, 2006 07:15 AM (W3Yjh)
Caption Contest Fatwa Time!
Sorry for the delay, but, that's the way the pork rinds. Or something like that
"why you insult holly quoran, i will cut ur neck" fatwa:
Graeme: "Much to his wife's embarrasment, Russian professor and weblog superstar, Docktorevanova Russteaski Shackellefjodputinchev eagerly yelled at the animals: "C'MON BOY! SQUEAL LIKE A PIGGY!" That night at the hotel he was to discover that during a romantic encounter, whistling "Dueling Banjos" is not considered to be sexy."
"devil will do meetballs from your body" fatwa:
Sig94: "After his press conference, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad exchanges the traditional Iranian Hog Log with Helen Thomas in front of the 1,000 Martyrs Luxury Truck Stop and Sewage Treatment Plant."
"Sympathy for the devillittle Satan the chronically hacked fatwa:
Aaron: "Outside the love "Shack", the Ayatollah "Docked" in "Elle" "Fjord" de Porque.
Mahmoud was all "Tore" up about being left out of the fun and had to content himself with "Tea"-bagging with his backyard goat, "Russ"." With bonus image!
"You're damn welcome, Mr. Venom" fatwa:
"Thanks Vinnie, for making me stare at two humping pigs to come up with this half-ass quote."
Oh yeah, someone asked why last week's contest was never judged. Well, it was a Peep's Choice, and the peeps never chose. So...there.
I like doing these, but, judging them is a pain. But only because it's just damned hard with all the great entries. But, I shall soldier on regardless.
Posted by: Vinnie at
07:24 PM
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The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Don't Tread On Me Edition
Caption this photo of our national symbol defending his home.
I'm adding a new wrinkle to the BSCC. Captions will be allowed until 10:00 p.m. Central Time on Sunday night, and then comments are cut off.
Fatwas will be issued by those who email me at vinceautmorire@gmail.com voting for the best captions.
Since the comments/captions also are emailed, when you vote, please put [VOTE] in the subject line.
The top three most popular will be fatwa'd.
Winners announced Monday.
In other words, this is the American Idol of Fatwa Issuing.
Anyone juxtaposing Rusty's upcoming trip to Europe with the glare of the eagle will get super secret double extra consideration, as long as it's hilarious.
1
Upon discovering the hidden camera that was broadcasting his mundane home life for the whole world to see, Bill started to envision the teasing he'd be getting from his bachelor eagle friends: "So what did you guys do for the weekend? I posed for the new hood art of an '86 Camaro. We don't have to ask Bill since everyone knows he was probably at Pine 1 buying wicker egg holders and scented candles! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Posted by: Graeme at May 07, 2006 11:16 AM (XF1Ly)
Posted by: jesusland joe at May 07, 2006 01:53 PM (rUyw4)
3
Are you not happy we have a BALD EAGLE as our national emplem rather then a dumb pink chicken that the CODE PINK or wussies would want us to have EAGLES RULE CHICKENS SUCK
Posted by: sandpiper at May 07, 2006 02:38 PM (XGDTE)
4
"Does this one on the left look...I dunno...a little gay to you?"
Male thinking "Keep the eggs warm...tidy up this nest!...go get me some salmon...nag nag nag...if only I had stayed single...I could be soaring with those hot falcons I saw yesterday"
"Oh, great. Another right wing blogger taking our picture for propaganda purposes. Maybe if I shit on his head, he'll figure out that eagles are Democrats...they took DDT off the market, or there wouldn't BE any eagles in the lower 48!"
"What's wrong with the name 'Suri'?"
Posted by: jd at May 07, 2006 04:13 PM (aqTJB)
5
Freakin'-A yeah, we got balls! Got 'em from a Leftist who wasn't using 'em.
Posted by: Gordon at May 07, 2006 04:48 PM (i0N3d)
6
The United States of America nurtures fledgling democracies in Afghanistan and Iraq.
Posted by: Don Long at May 07, 2006 05:25 PM (tDKaD)
1
I haven't seen it yet, but hopefully the locals will violate international copyright law yet again, so that the US Military members here in good old IZ can watch and remember why we are here. I volunteered that sunny day back in 2001 to go back on active duty (from the USAR), and have thus far spent 3 years away from my lovely wife, 4 year old son and 10 month old daughter. Some might ask why....but I think I just answered that. I have had the privilege of serving with some great American and Iraqi patriots, and a few have fallen to the hands of our enemy. But we are all willing to continue to do what we MUST to insure that the enemy does not bring its primary goal of a pan-Islamic state to fruition.
"We must all fear evil men, but there is one thing that we must fear more...the indifference of good men." – The Boondock Saints
Posted by: Moriarti at April 30, 2006 03:14 AM (bm/M7)
2
I saw it Friday night, and it was outstanding. I can't add much to the words of better writers than I. You can check out the reviews at rottentomatoes dot com. With a very few exceptions, the reviewers loved the film, as did I.
3
I saw it yesterday late afternoon. The theater was nearly full, I would expect the evening showings were sold out. I hope so.
I dreaded the beginning and I left the theater renewed in my belief that we must confront this enemy. If the film had been less objective in its presentation, I don't think it would have been so effective.
From the reviews I've read, I don't think they've discussed how one sees the day unfold, not just the Hero Flight. I found that with the earlier hijackings and subsequent attacks presented from the perspective of ATC, FAA, Norad, there was a different type of horror than that I experienced that day. The director does not add to the 'reaction' rather one feels that it was videotaped in real time.
On the Flight 93 in contrast, we 'see' and 'hear' the personal. We watch information come, decisions made. We see the post 9/11 America awaken on 9/11.
Posted by: Kathianne at April 30, 2006 03:55 AM (6bvSl)
4
I just saw the film and can only say it has reaffirmed my Faith and strengthened the resolve of the Patriot Brigade. Every arab man, woman, and child must be slaughtered and given the most violent and painful death possible. These are truly subhuman filth and of lesser value than a common cockroach.
The extermination of the arab race must be the ultimate and final victory if we are to have justice for these brave American souls who lost their lives on 9/11.
Posted by: Unashamed Patriot at April 30, 2006 04:09 AM (y+196)
5
Patriot-I hope you do not mean what you have said about the extermination of the arab race. There are some fine people in the middle east who are fighting beside our troops who just want a better life. Yes there is a segment that must be destroyed so Islam can regain it's moral footing in the world. Those who use Islam for evil means must be destroyed. That is the only way there will be peace in the middle east and the world for that matter.
Posted by: bags75 at April 30, 2006 05:15 AM (j4izh)
Posted by: rightwingprof at April 30, 2006 07:28 AM (hj1Wx)
7
I saw it last night and could not say a word to my wife for 20 minutes after it was over. I was so angry reliving what happened that day. We have to take the fight to them and this movie showed how they brought the fight to us. Thankfully people on that flight did not stand back and wait. They were the first warriors this country had fight back after the attacks on the Pentagon and WTC. The fighting spirit displayed over two hundred years before revealed itself again on that day. This movie depicts what happened on that flight in a way that should strengthen the resolve and shake the complacency of all our citizens. I feel everybody should see this movie and stay for the credits to see how many people played themself. Those characters in the movie will never land additional roles so they must have felt the importance to relive that day in this movie for everybody else.
Posted by: Stillmadashell at April 30, 2006 09:24 AM (rw9Aa)
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at April 30, 2006 11:37 AM (8e/V4)
9
I wish the hell the moonbats in NYC would decide to do something about the attack other than wondering why they hate us so much. Because you are an infidel, you dumn ass. Now, I've told you, so wake up and join the fight, and quit your stupid support of the very people who attacked you. While you march around acting stupid, the attackers are preparing worse for you. Wake up!
Posted by: jesusland joe at April 30, 2006 02:12 PM (rUyw4)
10
bagz75: you are very wrong. arabs are a subhuman filthy race. we should not be sending our soldiers to die trying to build a democracy for wretched evil people. they will only continue to send wave after wave of diseased filthy terrorists after us.
our brave troops should be on a mission to eradicate every last arab man, woman, and child in every country and on every continent. they attacked us on 9/11 but we will not rest until the last filthy subhuman arab exists no more.
Posted by: Unashamed Patriot at April 30, 2006 02:41 PM (y+196)
11
UP -
You sound more like someone who is spoofing conservative beliefs rather than someone who really believes them. If you really did believe them, you wouldn't leave them here at this site. Jawa readers don't believe in destroying everyone who doesn't agree with them. We want to get those who want to get us, and we don't believe every Arab wants to do that.
Besides, there are Muslims of many races. Eradicating the Arabs will not destroy Islam nor the Islamist issue. it still infects those in Thailand, the Phillipines, India and other areas.
What are realistic ways to stop the Islamists?
Posted by: eeyore at April 30, 2006 03:19 PM (0/sqo)
12
eradicating the arabs is just the first part of the final solution to global terrorism. the filth of islam eminates from the subhuman arab population. once that cancer has been eliminated we must root out all other followers of islam and liquidate them without delay.
watching the film's final moments gave me great inspiration in one such method of defeating terrorism. tossing the infants and children of arabs into boiling water as their pitiful parents watch--then suffer the same fate.
Praise Jesus and God Bless America
Posted by: Unashamed Patriot at April 30, 2006 04:03 PM (y+196)
13
I wince as I read the comments of a troll like Unashamed Patriot. Folks like him/her post here in order to tar true supporters of freedom and liberty.
If Unashamed Patriit really believed in what he was advocating, he'd attempt to persuade rather than to post inflammatory and outrageous comments.
Posts like this are part of the price of free speech. On the other side of the aisle, Daily Kos doesn't have the same problem. The reason is, they have an extremely efficient censorship system, so that divergent and wacked-out viewpoints can be effectively quashed in short order, so as to control the message. I certainly wouldn't advocate that system over here. I am convinced that the best answer to wrong speech is better speech.
If you're trying to stir up unfocused anti-Arab sentiment, you won't get much traction here. Some of the very best Americans are Arabs. Some of the most devout Christians are Arabs. You think that Americans would turn on Arab Americans because some a groub of Saudi Arabian Muslims blew up a plane? Not likely. Not in these parts, anyways.
14
By the way, if you knew anything about Christian philosophy, you'd know that Christians debate things like whether it is moral for the state to execute a man, even a man guilty of a heinous crime. They debate whether it can be moral to kill the unborn child. They debate whether a husband should be able to end the life of a debilitated wife.
Unlike some other religions, Christianity is a religion of life and peace. Jesus unequivocally taught Christians to submit to authority, to eschew violence and to turn the other cheek. It is nonsensical to advocate slaughter and torture in the same post that you say "Praise Jesus" and "God bless America".
15
arabs have not been and never will be Americans. they are filthy subhuman animals who originate as the spawn of satan. Issac vs Ishmael--Satan begat Ishmael who spawned the arab race. Christ commands his true believers to eradicate the forces of Satan.
Ragnar you are a traitor and deserve to be put in the gas chambers along with the filthy arabs. We will not allow you to tear away at the fabric of American Liberty.
Posted by: Unashamed Patriot at April 30, 2006 05:17 PM (y+196)
16
Just got back from seeing the movie, theater was only half full. At the end of the movie some one yelled out Islam is an evil religion another yelled out, any one still think we should not go after the terrorist? Many in the theater were weeping and saying God Bless America.
Any one notice at end of movie the European who stood up to warn the terrorist and serveral people jumped on him?
Wonder were that came from and if it is true?
Posted by: Patti at April 30, 2006 05:34 PM (2hEo4)
Ragnar you are a traitor and deserve to be put in the gas chambers with the filthy arabs.
Earth to Patriot: I'm a PIRATE. Of course I'm a TRAITOR. And of course I deserve to be put in a gas chamber. Who ever heard of a loyal pirate, anyway?
BTW, if you wanna be an effective troll, you really oughtta pay attention to what actual conservatives say, rather than what the DKos & DU freaks spout when they try to mimic conservatives. Those kids really have no concept at all.
The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Bad Rusty, Bad Bad Bad *Fatwas Issued*Caption this photo of Dr. Rusty Shackleford greeting a fellow geek at the Midwest Political Science (there's an oxymoron) Association's annual meeting at the Rosie Palmer House in Shytown.
***Fatwas Issued***
Fatwas issued when Venom shows up. Which is normally late Monday. If he shows up earlier, then fatwas issued when he bitches that I haven't issued a fatwa yet. Bastard. (i apologize Mr. Venom, i wet myself after I wrote that)
:-)
***Fatwas (in no particular order)***
SPO: "These are not the tonsils you're looking for....
These aren't the tonsils we're looking for.
Move along....
Move along, move along."
Rodney Dill (tie): "After meeting Stormtrooper Eduardo, John knew there would be no more Hand Solos." "This man is a member of the Rebel Dalliance."
Aaron: "Stormtrooper: Would it help if I got out and pushed?
Rusty: It might!"
Many, many excellent captions to choose from. Thanks everyone!
Oh, and welcome back Rusty. :::::running away:::::
Update by Howie :Bumped and updated on the Return of Dr. Rusty Shackleford below the break.
more...
1
You're a little short to be a stormtrooper aren't you.
Posted by: lawhawk at April 23, 2006 08:04 AM (KlmM7)
2
Semi famous blogger Dr. Rusty Shackelford is photographed filming a scene from the new Star Wars film; “EPISODE 7 THE BROKEBACK MENACEâ€. Reciting his only line in the movie, Dr. S tells the vulnerable Storm Trooper “ I wish I could quit youâ€.
Dr. Rusty Shackelford said he is unconcerned about receiving a death Fatawa from some conservative Catholic groups. “They just need a few hundred years to evolve,†said the good Dr.
Posted by: Brad at April 23, 2006 08:11 AM (WSMKO)
4
mmmm, is that a light saber in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Posted by: SPO at April 23, 2006 09:46 AM (YPd/2)
5
No really I'm a Dr. and this is how you inflate a punctured lung.
Posted by: SPO at April 23, 2006 09:49 AM (YPd/2)
6
NEWSFLASH: The renegade fairy from the Dodge Caliber commercial has struck again, this time using her dark magic on a Star Wars convention. Said one transformed fan, identifying himself only as Rusty: "It was horrible. One minute I'm dressed in my Chewbacca costume, the next......well.....you've seen the picture." Air National Guard squadrons across the country are on high alert.
Posted by: Graeme at April 23, 2006 09:53 AM (foGm3)
7
Despite the not-so-subtle gay overtones in George Lucas's latest installment of the Star Wars franchise, he insists there is no gay agenda involved. It's all just in your imagination.
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at April 23, 2006 10:14 AM (8e/V4)
2) There is no try. There is only tongue or not tongue.
3) It's a trap!
4) Gold Leader: It's no good down here, I can't maneuver!
Gold Five: Stay on target.
Gold Leader: *We're too close!*
Gold Five: Stay on target!
Gold Leader: [shouts] Loosen up!
5) I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it.
6) I sense something; a presence I've not felt since..
7) The Force is strong with this one.
Red Six: I got a problem here.
Biggs: Eject!
Red Six: I can hold it.
Biggs: Pull up!
Red Six: No, I'm all right... ahhh!
Posted by: Aaron's cc: at April 23, 2006 10:33 AM (ov6Vw)
9
9) Rusty: Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited.
Stormtrooper: Sorry sweetheart. I haven't got time for anything else.
10) Luke: I can't. It's too big.
Rusty: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not.
11) Rusty: Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?
Stormtrooper: I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee.
Rusty: I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss.
12) Stormtrooper: Would it help if I got out and pushed?
Rusty: It might!
13) it seems you are to be the main course at a banquet in my honor.
Posted by: Aaron's cc: at April 23, 2006 10:48 AM (ov6Vw)
10
"Brokeback Robot, now playing at a theater near you."
Posted by: Steve Sharon at April 23, 2006 11:03 AM (e2PdX)
11
Oh, geez, Dr. Rusty! This is Information Overload. Do you really want events from your sex life plastered all over the internet? This WILL NOT get you tenure.
Posted by: bubbe at April 23, 2006 11:56 AM (vZBQO)
12
He is kissing up with a imperial storm trooper and a member of the demacratic party
Posted by: sandpiper at April 23, 2006 01:28 PM (gJhPg)
13
1. Rusty and an anonymous stormtrooper push the Imperial Army's "don't ask, dont tell" policy to its breaking point.
2. "Let go your conscious self, and act on instinct!"
Posted by: Insomniac at April 23, 2006 01:38 PM (wZLWV)
14
"Hmmm..quit you I cannot. Star of Yodaback Mountain are you."
"Is that a light sabre or are you just glad to see me?"
"If you kiss me, I'll take the mask off and move out of my parents' basement, promise!"
"Go ahead and kiss me--what, are you afraid this might get posted on the internet? Geez, you are paranoid!"
"I swear I look like Natalie Portman under this mask"
Posted by: jd at April 23, 2006 01:39 PM (uT71O)
15
1. Is that a lightsabre in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?
2. By marrying a storm trooper to his geek-rebel lover, Gavin Newsome tests the Empire's "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
3. Promo for "Brokeback Imperial Star Destroyer"
Posted by: Don Long at April 23, 2006 02:28 PM (QdMA1)
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at March 21, 2006 02:01 PM (8e/V4)
2
Future of the world: Sleeping giant builds it's resources while watching it's enemy's depletion of resources through long drawn out conflicts. When resources are depleted and the dust settles, Sleeping Giant emerges and seizes control, restoring peace and order to the world. They lived happily ever after.
Posted by: Hailus at March 21, 2006 02:20 PM (Y2ILH)
3
Your sleeping giant will have little paticence for you hailus - and an adjoining cell.
Funny how the only thing that protects you from that "sleeping giant" is your mutual enemy.
Posted by: hondo at March 21, 2006 03:30 PM (9pQ6D)
4
hailus is one stupid SOB. Here's a scenario for him. China attempts to invade Taiwan and gets its ass kicked. Big time. Hahaha!
Posted by: jesusland joe at March 21, 2006 05:04 PM (rUyw4)
5
Now this is a blog and can settle into for awhile! But before I strike out for greener pastures, here's this!
Say! I thought of a little game we can play. I'll start posting under different screen names and see who can track the full on, frothing barking moonbat mode II through cyberspace! Come on! It will be lot's of fun and won't be a waste of your time! And, whoever wins gets a free pissed on copy of the Quaran! Your friends will be amazed! The world is my oyster! Round 'em up and rope 'em off!
We need leadership who works night and day figuring a way out of this mess! Even if it means missing a few photo-ops, golf games, 5-week wartime vacations, playing guitar with the old folks during hurricanes, or autistic basketball.
http://www.votetoimpeach.org
Posted by: Hailus at March 21, 2006 10:13 PM (Y2ILH)
6
How not to win friends or influence anyone - impressive - since you are out to achieve nothing - you can't fail.
Posted by: hondo at March 21, 2006 11:54 PM (9pQ6D)
7
What passes for reason in the mind of a leftard is a wonder to me. Has there been an epidemic of delivery room nurses dropping babies on their heads for he last few decades or something?
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at March 23, 2006 06:41 AM (0yYS2)
Fatwas Issued For The BSCC
Because I'm too tired and/or lazy to change the time-stamp on the contest, I'll just do a whole new post.
Fatwas:
Cindy's showing that the "Michael Moore Starter Kit" really works.
Posted by Yo at March 12, 2006 04:35 PM
Cindy Sheehan revealed the dark underbelly of the anti-war movement. It wasn't pretty.
Posted by Stephen Macklin at March 12, 2006 12:50 PM
When do I get that cute orange jumpsuit?
Posted by Marcus Aurelius at March 12, 2006 11:59 AM
As usual, the gratuitous Star Wars reference fatwa goes to:
"Where are you taking this....thing?"
Posted by Venom at March 13, 2006 10:29 AM
(we likesssssssssss Venom, yesss we doesssssss precioussssssssss)
And a special "I'm miserable so you have to be miserable too" fatwa:
Snore. This is like the Sunday morning talking heads shows -- only far more boring. And that's saying someting.
Posted by anon at March 12, 2006 10:52 AM
Do you consider your position at kmtv in Omaha to be so secure that you can come here on company time and make a complete fool out of yourself? I think your bosses might be very interested to see what you do and how you use their computers. I think I will see how they feel about how you are representing them on the web.
Posted by: jesusland joe at March 13, 2006 08:14 PM (rUyw4)
I just got off the phone with the real Travis Justice at KMTV and this person is spoofing him.
I'll be deleting all his comments at the real Mr. Justice's request.
Posted by: Vinnie at March 13, 2006 08:21 PM (f289O)
8
Travis, you better shut your piehole before somebody shuts it for you. And you wouldn't have the guts to call me a pussy to my face. You are nothing but a chickenshit bastard liberal who talks tough on the internet.
Posted by: jesusland joe at March 13, 2006 08:26 PM (rUyw4)
9
Oh my got were under attack by Travis Justice - Master Sportscaster. What ever shall we do? Sports is where they put you if you suck right? Now if he were Anchor or Weatherman I'd be scared. Judging by your first post you belong in sports.
This is Travis Justice Live here at Beaver Creek Consolidated School district where I can report the 5th grade team just smoked the rangers from where was that town again anyway. Beaver Creek over somebody 32-26 in overtime. Back to you [insert name here]
Posted by: Howie at March 13, 2006 08:26 PM (D3+20)
1
Despite the loss of two giant, humanoid robots and Tokyo sustaining massive damage, Japanese police were able to capture the bastard offspring of Godzilla and the Pilsbury Dough Boy. Said one passer-by who claimed that he had an anonymous role in the movie "Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo": "That's one huuuuge b*tch!"
Posted by: Graeme at March 12, 2006 05:55 AM (vufCw)
2
She has become a parody of a caricature of an embarrassment of a joke.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at March 12, 2006 07:28 AM (0yYS2)
3
After viewing this photo, Cindy immediately went on line and ordered the ab blaster...
Posted by: Babs at March 12, 2006 07:55 AM (iZZlp)
4
This just in: The Fashion Police have arrested a serious offender today. More on this breaking news as it comes in.....
Posted by: Steve Sharon at March 12, 2006 08:59 AM (I3fqa)
5
Sheehan: [to cop] The Moonbatism is strong with you. A powerful Liberal you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth...Doughnut.
Cop: Wow, you're really as crazy as everyone says.
Posted by: Marcus at March 12, 2006 09:33 AM (11xpe)
6
"Fat ugly laughing hyena continues to desecrate her dead son's memory."
Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at March 12, 2006 10:06 AM (8e/V4)
Posted by: Marcus Aurelius at March 12, 2006 11:59 AM (ffPYG)
10
"Yeah, and I caught the bimbo thats been coppin' all our donuts."
Posted by: Rodney Dill at March 12, 2006 12:13 PM (tGTSA)
11
Diet pills that didn't work: $50
Parka from Birmingham Coat Factory: $19
Bus Tip DownTown: $5
Having your hood cover your face at the precise Photo Op moment: Priceless
Posted by: Rodney Dill at March 12, 2006 12:14 PM (tGTSA)
12
I got the drug mule, this must be a huge stash of Coke, tell Berta to put on the extra long rubber gloves.
Posted by: Rodney Dill at March 12, 2006 12:16 PM (tGTSA)
13
Intending only to tone up and thin out a bit, Cindy signs up for the Rachel Corrie Weight Loss Program
Posted by: Rodney Dill at March 12, 2006 12:17 PM (tGTSA)
14
Cindy, belly shirts are a privilege, not a right!
Posted by: John at March 12, 2006 12:32 PM (XP0cV)
15
Cindy Sheehan revealed the dark underbelly of the anti-war movement. It wasn't pretty.
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at March 12, 2006 12:50 PM (DdRjH)
16
Casey would be so proud of me. I am a trend setter for war protesters thanks to the money he left me.
Posted by: Cheryl at March 12, 2006 01:29 PM (vAg4k)
18
Cindy shows off "Casey II", a new prototype she hopes will improve on the flawed "Casey I" model which fought for American Values, rather than against them.
Posted by: mychimo at March 12, 2006 02:08 PM (iqMCM)
19
"Oh im just a gigolo and everywhere i go, people know the part im playing"-Japanese police officer...." I aint got nobodyyyyy, nobody cares for me, there's nobody cares for me, im so sad and lonely"-Cindy
Posted by: THANOS at March 12, 2006 02:29 PM (fRPwa)
20
Police Officer: "Lady, would you get your hand off of my butt! I know I'm wearing a uniform, but I am not your son."
Posted by: Don Miguel at March 12, 2006 03:16 PM (UAn5X)
21
Ok first you should go to Filthy's and read his post of a first hand account by word of mouth to Filthy who is in NYC. Filthy were you shitting us about that? Anyway Filthy said she left a loaf there so. This goes on that theme.
"Hey sugar! I like Asian babes I hope you will be the one who has to wash my ass when we get to jail because I just shat my self and you are hot! Come on Baby, wipe me clean!".
Posted by: Howie at March 12, 2006 03:47 PM (D3+20)
22
Come on lady..that's the last time you sell me a dodgy donut.
Posted by: Jester at March 12, 2006 04:03 PM (QKZX5)
23
Cindy's showing that the "Michael Moore Starter Kit" really works.
Posted by: Yo at March 12, 2006 04:35 PM (6DvwA)
24
".. take off hajib and show us your breasts." Ugga bugga!
Posted by: bubbe at March 12, 2006 07:09 PM (vZBQO)
25
Is she trying to impersonate SALLY FEILD in her series THE FLYING NUN?
Posted by: sandpiper at March 12, 2006 07:42 PM (D9h75)
26
"Laugh now, but if this belly were semtex you'd all be dead, Bwahahahaha!"
Posted by: Rodney Dill at March 12, 2006 08:16 PM (tGTSA)
27
"I was just trying to blend in until I could find Yoda"
Posted by: RepJ at March 12, 2006 08:35 PM (oHw0S)
28
It's really funny but can't laugh on it a very critical and concious thing it is
Posted by: parag at March 13, 2006 02:26 AM (w+JbT)
29
Cindy Sheehan has a run-in with New York's Fashion Police.
Posted by: Fred Fry at March 13, 2006 06:51 AM (JXdhy)
The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Waaaah Edition
Caption this photo of a terrorist in Gitmo going nowhere, fast (oh my, is he being escorted by a female? The shame!):
Fatwas issued Monday.
Fatwas issued! Damn, this was a tough one to judge. Normally I pick the ones that make me LOL. This time, almost all made me LOL. I had to go with ROFLMAO.
MarcoBlogo: "No..please...anything but the cartoons...."
jack: "Does my new orange jump suit make my ass look big?"
Steve Sharon: "President Steve Sharon's first executive order was to dress all Arab prisoners at Guantanamo Bay as pumpkins and carve them to death."
Fred Fry: "Terrorist: "Wait til I get my hands on that "Jihad is great" recruiter!"
DM: "No, not the comfy chair! Please anything but the comfy chair!"
And a unique tie in the Made Vinnie Laugh So Hard He Almost Made Wee-wee In His Pants Fatwa Division:
splashtc: "I had nothing to do with Natalees disappearance."
Jester: "Come on Abdul...you're in no condition to drive...now where did you park your car?"
Posted by: MarcoBlogo at March 05, 2006 06:47 AM (DBjkO)
2
Fortunately for Khaleel, before being captured he had read the popular Al Qaida guide, "How to hide a potentially embarassing 'tenting' problem while being touched by a strong, but yet so delicate, infidel American woman soldier".
Posted by: Graeme at March 05, 2006 07:34 AM (jeglL)
3
I wouldn't mind that woman touching me. She is FINE!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Robert Savage at March 05, 2006 08:25 AM (CnDtU)
4
I had nothing to do with Natalees disappearance.
Posted by: splashtc at March 05, 2006 08:52 AM (CtJ6k)
5
Does my new orange jump suit make my ass look big?
Posted by: jack at March 05, 2006 09:20 AM (jRY/a)
Posted by: Grumpy Troll at March 05, 2006 09:38 AM (kli5t)
7
Till up to this day, the request by inmates to ease their daily relocations by use of wheelchairs is still been denied!
Posted by: Dan at March 05, 2006 10:02 AM (Z2OsI)
8
I know that contact lens is around here somewhere...
Posted by: Chad at March 05, 2006 10:26 AM (E2GpM)
9
Fortunately for Rashid, his time in Gitmo, orange jumpsuit, not to mention the new 24’s on his Escalade, all qualify him as “Gangstaâ€.
Posted by: RicardoVerde at March 05, 2006 10:37 AM (b+HIl)
10
No..wait..wait..I'm almost there...yes..yes..Oh Allah!
Posted by: Cookie at March 05, 2006 10:45 AM (wZLWV)
11
Prisoner Mustafa Bin Deerdundat weeps when he is informed that the female guards will no longer be wearing tight revealing outfits to the interrogations.
Posted by: Vox Poplar at March 05, 2006 11:08 AM (LYwks)
12
Hold on guys, I think I stepped in some tabouli. Oh crap! That's not tabouli!
Posted by: Oyster at March 05, 2006 11:31 AM (YudAC)
Posted by: Oyster at March 05, 2006 02:12 PM (YudAC)
19
I am not a terrorist! I tell you I am really an Israeli protesting against giving up Gaza! Why do you think I am dressed in Orange??? Didnt you see the protest pictures?.....This is all makeup-really. Look- Orange- Look!
Posted by: Steve Sharon at March 05, 2006 02:34 PM (gUNII)
20
President Steve Sharon's first executive order was to dress all Arab prisoners at Guantanamo Bay as pumpkins and carve them to death.
Posted by: Steve Sharon at March 05, 2006 02:39 PM (gUNII)
21
Not for the caption contest ...
Screw the guy in orange ...
this is for two in camo
I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line
I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line
As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line
You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line
I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line
Posted by: hondo at March 05, 2006 03:59 PM (fyKFC)
22
No, not the comfy chair! Please anything but the comfy chair!
The Non Blog Sabbath No Caption Contest Caption
This post is for you tipsy and horny men whose wives foolishly agreed to let the neighbor kid spend the night, cementing the fact that you will not get any because the crumb crunchers will not go to sleep before you do.*
Actually, I just found the real caption more funny than any made up one. The real caption contest is forthcoming.
The funny part of the caption:
Scarlett Johansson arrives at the 63rd annual Golden Globe Awards...
Posted by: Cookie at March 04, 2006 08:50 PM (Ffvoi)
2
Too bad for her that I am already married! Haha!
Posted by: jesusland joe at March 04, 2006 10:22 PM (rUyw4)
3
I'm sorry, but I do *not* understand the big deal about her. Aside from a nice set of (deleted), I don't think she is anything to write home about. I've only ever seen her in "Lost In Translation," which I thought was a very good movie (she was good in it, but Murray stole the show).
The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Late Monday Early Tuesday Edition
So I f***ed up the regular one. It wasn't supposed to be humorous, but, let bygones be bygones.
Caption this photo of Iraqi military viewing the corpse of a terrorist:
Fatwas will be issued today, Tuesday, February 28th, 2006.
Unless Mr. Venom says no.
***Fatwas Issued***
Capp: "Is today terrorist pickup or is it bottles and cans?"
Steve Sharon: "I thought the terrorists said they wouldnt take this lying down?"
Buckley F. Williams: "Listen Jabbar, I clearly called 'Allah, Allah, oxen-free'. And on top of that, we all agreed beforehand that the dirt patch in front of the falaffel shop was to be home base, not the dirt patch in front of the used car lot. If you are not going to play by the rules then I will take my weapon and go home. Jabbar? Are you hearing me?
Gratuitous Star Wars reference fatwa:
Venom: "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
Your Picture Can Be Seen Here fatwa:
Anyone sees a picture they think would make a good caption contest photo, send it to me at vinceautmorire@gmail.com. If I don't use it that week, don't fret, I'll at least have it in Vinnie's Increasingly Growing Image Library for possible future use.
Posted by: Max at February 28, 2006 10:01 AM (WM45z)
12
Pssst....pssst....buzz off, Iraqi soldiers, buzzard up above!
Posted by: jesusland joe at February 28, 2006 10:02 AM (rUyw4)
13
"Listen Jabbar, I clearly called 'Allah, Allah, oxen-free'. And on top of that, we all agreed beforehand that the dirt patch in front of the falaffel shop was to be home base, not the dirt patch in front of the used car lot. If you are not going to play by the rules then I will take my weapon and go home. Jabbar? Are you hearing me?"
14
"Best damn Uday impression I've seen in months."
"Uday? Have you been eating those mushrooms you found in the camel excrement again? Look at the angle of the body. Note the exit wounds. He's clearly doing Qusay."
There are 12 ninjas hidden in this picture, can you find them all?
Posted by: Ranba Ral at February 28, 2006 01:16 PM (GyNTD)
16
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
Posted by: Venom at February 28, 2006 01:51 PM (dbxVM)
17
"I dunno Mo .. the white utility is good if you have family, extra storage for goceries n' such ... but the black Chevy sedan .. Hmmmmmm! Good for picking up chicks!"
Posted by: hondo at February 28, 2006 03:24 PM (fyKFC)
18
"No, Really Achmed, you CAN hear the train coming on the tracks..."
Posted by: Dmac at February 28, 2006 07:04 PM (Lqn+9)
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at February 28, 2006 08:33 PM (0yYS2)
20diamond engagement rings Probaly you should read this. diamond engagement rings Hope this helps. See you next life. Buy diamond engagement rings now! God bless you.
The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Double Vision Edition
Caption this photo of Muslim protestors in Kenya:
That photo is for the caption contest, but the below photo is for extra credit. After your caption, tell us what is uglier, the dead bird, or the pasty-ass fish-belly lardo looking at it. Heh, guess you know my answer.
4
“All right, settle down! On 3 we break & go kill some infidels & burn their embassy because they drew an offensive picture of the prophet Mohammed.â€
“1!.. 2!..â€
“Wait, wait, wait! Actually someone totally different, that lives 3,000 miles away did the drawing, but they are from the same country I think… you know all of the infidels look alike to me. Anyways they lied about the Zionist holocaust, so on 3 we kill them all, Allah be praised.â€
“1!.. 2!..â€
“Wait, Wait, Wait! Mohammed lived 1,500 years ago & to be honest I’m not really sure what he looked like, they could’ve have been drawing anyone & he does kinda look like my brother in-law, Ali… Hmm, I got an Idea… On 3, we break, kill the infidels, burn their ebassay & blame the Jews!â€
“1!.. 2!.. 3!.. Death to America!â€
Posted by: PMain at February 12, 2006 12:53 AM (ImHPa)
5
I did not fuck that bird to death in my scivvies! Allah Akbar! ba bar ba bar! I thought it was a pig in a duck costume!
Posted by: forest hunter at February 12, 2006 01:56 AM (Fq6zR)
6
Photo 1: Along with their many rulings, Kenyan Imams had issued a fatwa over pizza slices, since the triangle is the symbol of Tinky Winky, the alledgedy homosexual Teletubbie. This often made eating Kenyan pizza a dicey proposition.
Photo 2 : In an instant, the situation had become extremely dangerous. Not only had the European Bigfoot (Hasselhoffus Bananahammockus)spotted the bait, but our research team as well.
Posted by: Graeme at February 12, 2006 05:37 AM (Xtiq0)
7
One potato, two potato, three potato, four. Ok, Achmed, it's your turn to pay for the danish.
In other news; research has shown that birds not only have superior eye-sight, but are also prone to fainting on exposure to, well, exposure.
Posted by: Jim at February 12, 2006 07:26 AM (YkmII)
8
2nd: All that was left of Björk was her dress
Posted by: Don Surber at February 12, 2006 07:52 AM (9dzVM)
9
Denied the ability to "car swarm" by a remarkable lack of missiles killing local terrorists, Kenyans turn in frustration to "flag swarming".
Posted by: Jeff Medcalf at February 12, 2006 08:22 AM (eer2X)
10
All right boys, five seconds left and we’re up by 4. What ever you do, DON’T FOUL THE SHOOTER. Ok, on three, ready… one, two, three…Denmark Sucks!!!!!
The manager of the new KFC franchise in Damascus inspects his inventory for quality and freshness hours before the restaurant opens
Posted by: Brad at February 12, 2006 09:52 AM (BJYNn)
11
TOP
Man on left: "Now everyone draw straws, short straw is this weeks suicide bomber."
Man with raised hand: "Say anyone know where this Grenade pin goes?"
BOTTOM
Allahu Aflack-barf
Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 12, 2006 12:14 PM (tGTSA)
12
Abdul:"Ok, huddle up, huddle up. OK. Three, Sixtyfive Green, split wide on two. Ready? Break!"
Mohammed: "Ready Break? Where are our exploding helmets?"
Posted by: Steve Sharon at February 12, 2006 01:15 PM (uw4bt)
13
and for extra credit....in honor of Peter Sellers.....
"Birdie Num Num...Birdie Num Num..."
Posted by: Steve Sharon at February 12, 2006 01:20 PM (uw4bt)
14
The entertainment starved Iraqi's always jumped at the opportunity whenever Salazar said, "Pull my finger."
Bottom:
"Thank god for the Heimlich maneuver."
Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 12, 2006 02:48 PM (tGTSA)
15
#1 Okay boys, unfurl the flag and FLICK YER BICs.
#2 Mmmmmm, that be yummy for the tummy. Road Kill and Dumplins for din din.
Posted by: bubbe at February 12, 2006 04:46 PM (vZBQO)
16
First photo: eBay Kenya's first and last attempt at a free market system.
Second photo: That's not a dead bird....that's a space station.
Posted by: Venom at February 13, 2006 09:14 AM (dbxVM)
Scissors and paper? We don't need no stinking scissors and paper. Stone crushes stone so I get to burn the Swiss flag. I mean Danish! Ahhh, close enough.
Photo 2:
The swans will swoon to the Speedo man.
Posted by: Charles at February 13, 2006 10:19 AM (kiLAW)
18
#1: "One at the time, please! Everybody will get their Danish passeport!"
#2: "What the hell happened to my dog?!?"
- Max
Posted by: Max at February 13, 2006 01:01 PM (WM45z)
The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Stupid Criminals Part One
Caption this photo of stupid alleged criminal Lonnie "Vent Man" Shields allegedlycaught in the act.
Fatwas issued Monday.
Fatwas issued!
Steve Sharon: "SHAFT!.....Can you dig it?"
Marcus Aurelius: "Excellent! I can now sue the building owner and become a millionaire!"
Rodney Dill (by popular demand): "The India Space program took off with an early success today, as Hindunaut, Ravi "Beans" Bindharvi, (pictured in launch device), consumed enough legume derivative to produce sufficient volatile gases needed to achieve escape velocity."
Double fatwa with Danish cheese, super-sized with a bottle of Carlsberg:
Buckley F. Williams: "Chloe? This is Black Bauer. There's no time to explain so listen carefully. I've become lodged in a model Q-237 air conditioning duct. I'm connecting you to the duct's peripheral communications center by remote armpit access, you'll have to help me find some way to get free."
Posted by: Steve Sharon at February 04, 2006 11:37 PM (TI4FR)
3
"What am I doing here? I have to constantly train for Christmas Eve and my chimney simulator isn't as good as the real thing. Yes, even I, Santa Claus, screws up the down-the-chimney technique once in a while."
Posted by: Graeme at February 05, 2006 04:22 AM (Zw9lE)
4
"Damn, get me outta here quick! My 12-hour deodorant's about to expire!"
J.
Posted by: Jay Tea at February 05, 2006 05:52 AM (kILf9)
5
Excellent! I can now sue the building owner and become a millionaire!
Posted by: Marcus Aurelius at February 05, 2006 06:46 AM (Ox5i9)
Posted by: Oyster at February 05, 2006 08:29 AM (YudAC)
7
Shields's lawyer Jackie Charles was quoted as saying “My client was framed.†If the vent don’t fit, you must acquitâ€.
Posted by: Brad at February 05, 2006 08:43 AM (BJYNn)
8
"Publish a few cartoons and I've gotta hide my ass in here? Man it's just not right."
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at February 05, 2006 08:55 AM (DdRjH)
9
looks like a good hole in the ground to shit in.......
Posted by: ian uk at February 05, 2006 08:58 AM (GhCfc)
10
I call this performance piece "In The Hull Of Slaveship White America". It reflects the experience of forced conformity to the oppressor's paradigms.
Now, give me a hand and pull me outta here b*tch.
Posted by: Gordon at February 05, 2006 09:30 AM (i0N3d)
11
"Chloe? This is Black Bauer. There's no time to explain so listen carefully. I've become lodged in a model Q-237 air conditioning duct. I'm connecting you to the duct's peripheral communications center by remote armpit access, you'll have to help me find some way to get free."
12
DRUDGEBREAKING: The NEA funded Performance Art Exhibit, A Good Start, depicts the Prophet Mohammad going through a wood chipper. The ACLU, not knowing whether to kowtow to islamofascists or to cater the National Endowment of Art, exploded.
Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 05, 2006 11:09 AM (tGTSA)
13
The India Space program took off with an early success today, as Hindunaut, Ravi "Beans" Bindharvi, (pictured in launch device), consumed enough legume derivative to produce sufficient volatile gases needed to achieve escape velocity.
Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 05, 2006 11:17 AM (tGTSA)
14
DRUDGEBREAKING: The NEA funded Performance Art Exhibit, "A Good Start", depicts the Prophet Mohammad going through a wood chipper. The ACLU, not knowing whether to kowtow to islamofascists or to cater to the National Endowment for the Arts, exploded.
(with a few minor corrections.)
Posted by: Rodney Dill at February 05, 2006 12:33 PM (tGTSA)
Posted by: mychimo at February 05, 2006 12:43 PM (ivn0c)
16
"I was just out - going to the store - to buy milk - for the children - n' this gust of wind came by - n' I had a 20 dollar bill in my hand - n' it blew away - up on this roof - so I came up here to get it - n' then I heard these sounds - cryin' like - down this hole - so I leaned over - n' dropped my car keys down the hole - n' I need those keys cause first thing tomarrow I have to take some children to the hospital for kidney dialysis - n' down in that hole - was this lil' kitten - cryin' - I mean - I had to do something man! - I tried to call the Fire Dept thru 911 on my cell phone - but weak signal - what with that ozone hole and interfering rays n' stuff - harming the children - besides - those guys - are like really busy - what with putting out fires - rescuing people - and children n' stuff - so I decided to - take personal responsibily - be a man - a good Chistian n' stuff - and said to myself - what would Jesus do? - an Jesus said - save that kitten and feed those children! - so I went down into this hole - n' got stuck - but the kitten - crawled up my leg to safety - its gone now - I rescued it - ....
Posted by: hondo at February 05, 2006 01:33 PM (3aakz)
17
For it's 15 year anniversary at this year's Super Bowl XL in Detroit, the 'NFL Experience' had shorter lines than expected to see Terrell Owens demonstrating about racism and how tight the restrictions will be playing for another NFL team. Owens was believed to be yelling for help as everyone headed for the stadium.
Posted by: slug at February 05, 2006 02:10 PM (0YdQw)
18
But...but..I was told this tunnel came out in my mosque. Am I facing east?
Posted by: jesusland joe at February 05, 2006 02:28 PM (rUyw4)
The Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Endorsed By Jimmy Carter Edition
Caption this photo of Ham Ass Hamas "political leader" Khaleed Said Salaam Shaheed Abdul ibn Fahd Derka Derka Mohammed Jihad Smith giving a speech to someone somewhere:
IMPORTANT NOTE: Entries containing the words "death," "to," or "Israel" will be automatically disqualified. C'mon peeps, there has to some challenge to this.
Fatwas will be issued when Mr. Venom submits an entry complaining that no fatwas have been issued.
Or Monday evening, before the new episode of 24, of course.
Fatwas issued! Man, this gets harder every week. These Islamotards are great for caption contests, eh wot?
Double fatwa with cheese, super-sized with a diet Coke:
"And then we're going to Syria, and we're going to Lebanon, and we're going to Yemen. Yeeeeaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhh!" - Steven L.
Fatwas:
"We need one more couple for the Virginia Reel!" - J Rob
"OH MY GOD!!!...Its Godzillaaaaa!!!!!.....WUN!!! WUN!!! Wun For youre lives!!!" - Thanos35
"Arafat! Pull my finger!" - Leovinius
Honorable mention fatwa for Star Wars reference:
"That's not a moon, it's a space station!" - Lawhawk
Gratuitous honorable mention so he doesn't fling poo at his owners:
"I am number one!
Number two is on my other hand." - Spacemonkey
And speaking of fatwas, how about another posting of the Danish caricatures of Mohammed under the fold!
Posted by: Russ at January 29, 2006 12:34 AM (utsLN)
2
And then we're going to Syria, and we're going to Lebanon, and we're going to Yemen. Yeeeeaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhh!
Posted by: Steven L. at January 29, 2006 12:40 AM (V7dZI)
3
Ask not what your country can do for you... no really, we can't do anything.
Posted by: KG at January 29, 2006 12:42 AM (eRMCR)
4
You see? I'm pointing at the moon and I myself am looking at the finger!
Posted by: Ali Mentary at January 29, 2006 02:58 AM (A1EK0)
5
"You think that Ahamadinejad is da man because he has that green aura sh*t goin' on? No! I'm da man because I have two disembodied heads floating over me for luck! Yes, I do know that they're both dead. No, I don't know why the Arafat head dipped its mouth in the electoral ink."
Posted by: Graeme at January 29, 2006 03:33 AM (kZCxt)
6
You! In the back........Do you think that I should be using Grecian formula?!
Posted by: Dr. Zubov at January 29, 2006 06:11 AM (mJD6w)
Posted by: J Rob at January 29, 2006 07:45 AM (tYi+A)
9
Wait. I just heard that the trifecta is in play. I'm outa here before the bomb drops and I join these other dead men in hell.
Posted by: Pigilito at January 29, 2006 08:00 AM (uEMWH)
10
And what is the bid for this lovely portrait of Arafat?
Do I have 10"?
Come one people I could do better on eBay.
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at January 29, 2006 09:09 AM (DdRjH)
11"So you see? Arafat, whom I point to up there, is every bit as evil as Sauroman over there to the right!"
Posted by: Oyster at January 29, 2006 09:12 AM (YudAC)
12
"We will not be held down by the evils of the Versailles treaty. The German people are a great people and we will build our forces and take outr place again as a grat world power. The Jews have tried to destroy us like they are destroying every other country they have infested but we will solve the Jewish problem and Germany will rise again!"
Seig....Heil
Seig....Heil
Seig....Heil
Posted by: Steve Sharon at January 29, 2006 09:12 AM (UT/Xp)
13
"We will invent a new kind of person, one who is born with a detonation button where the belly button is now positioned. This should prevent any faulty explosions in the future."
Posted by: Steve Sharon at January 29, 2006 09:16 AM (UT/Xp)
Posted by: mke at January 29, 2006 10:13 AM (MXWyj)
17
I hear France is offering free victory soup to Hamas, considering recently they can no longer use this type of soup to feed their own poor. Problem is, it is all pork soup.
Posted by: Andre at January 29, 2006 10:30 AM (bQ3vG)
Posted by: NottaMused at January 29, 2006 11:31 AM (/JGtb)
20
And with a little bit of help from my friends, I'll be joining Arafat and Rantisi in hell very soon...
That's not a moon, it's a space station!
No, I'm not an Oscar Meyer weiner, but did you really think I was going to say I eat Hebrew National because they answer to a higher authority?
---
On a more serious note, note the image of "Palestine" behind the nutbar. No two state solution for these creeps - they're all about destroying Israel and putting their own debased country on its ruins.
Posted by: lawhawk at January 29, 2006 12:36 PM (5e8EC)
21
"The United States is a facist, bloodthirsty imperialistic hegemon!
Vote for Kerry!"
Posted by: The Good Lt at January 29, 2006 01:10 PM (D9dFI)
22
And no, I don't answer to Helen Thomas either. Next!
All your base belongs to us. But you keep those greenhouses - for those we have no need.
Posted by: lawhawk at January 29, 2006 02:17 PM (RYnV2)
"What? Oh, thank you, Mahmoud. Silly me. I always get Sauroman confused with Gandalf. Those Westerners all look the same to me. Before I whip things into a frenzy with a rousing speech and things get too out-of-hand, I think it is appropriate for us all to recognize Redd Foxx for his work with Sauroman. Many of you may not know that the two first met when Sauroman played the part of Grady for the pilot episode of Sanford and Son."
Posted by: slug at January 29, 2006 02:17 PM (0YdQw)
24
"I ask Allah to direct really bad things in the direction of the Jewish state on top of Palestine!"
I may not be original but I have imagination
Posted by: Catholicgauze at January 29, 2006 02:20 PM (UA1kS)
25
Now that I am elected your leader, I promise a Kassam rocket in every house, a suicide belt for every child, and an AK-47 for everyone! Yeaaahhhhh!!!
Posted by: jesusland joe at January 29, 2006 02:29 PM (rUyw4)
26
OH MY GOD!!!...Its Godzillaaaaa!!!!!.....WUN!!! WUN!!! Wun For youre lives!!!
Posted by: THANOS35 at January 29, 2006 02:33 PM (Mn3Nk)
27
Everyone was a little put back at the vehemence with which the new graphic novel "Yoda vs. Saruman" was announced.
Posted by: Robert Crawford at January 29, 2006 02:58 PM (Gn9tM)
Posted by: Marcus Aurelius at January 29, 2006 03:45 PM (Fu9nl)
29
Its a bird, its a plane, its an American made F-16....
[explosions heard in the background]
Posted by: jonny at January 29, 2006 04:41 PM (nytWC)
30
With guardian angels like these 2 guys, how can I not be the best choice for leader? Vote for me and I will show you that I can cheat and steal and rape and murder with the best of them.
Posted by: bubbe at January 29, 2006 05:43 PM (vZBQO)
31
Everybody now...once, twice, three times a lady...
and
Oh oh, thanks for coming to the opening ceremony of Syriana. I'd especially like to thank Sarumann the Wise [and sticky] and his alternateen life-mate, Smeagal. Thanks, guys, for coming out.
Posted by: Vercingetorix at January 29, 2006 09:37 PM (LVVcX)
Posted by: mojo at January 30, 2006 01:21 PM (U9foz)
40
"You see these two criminals, they are nothing compared to me. I am biggest criminal of all, so stop your tongue and leave me to my crimes. But continue to send money."
Posted by: jesusland joe at January 30, 2006 03:49 PM (rUyw4)
I love my wife with all my heart and soul, and I hope she doesn't see my earlier comments, because she will whup my ass.
Posted by: MikeeUSA at January 30, 2006 06:12 PM (38GkZ)
42
Defeated? Wow. Hey Rusty, did you know you were defeated? Yeah, apparently this genius discovered he could unplug his modem for a minute and it would reset his ISP address. I'm really surprised nobody ever thought of it before. Hell, Mikey probably isn't even his real name. Sheer brilliance, I tell you.
I can tell you how to ban him permanently, but you'll need some plastic, duct tape, cement blocks, a few feet of nylon rope, and a boat. I'm not very busy this week, if you want to get together. You know, to go fishing. Or something.
Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at January 30, 2006 06:22 PM (0yYS2)