Video: Alicia Silverstone NUDE!Finally, Alicia Silverstone NUDE. Remind me not to say that PETA is good for nothing ever again. They are good for something: getting naive, stupid, and hot* celebs to take their clothes off!
No, I wasn't searching for "Alicia Silverstone nude video", I was trying to see if my local cable company was playing the USC vs. Washington State game tomorrow and this just happened to be the top story at TV Guide.
And if you believe that, here's another one: Islam = peace**
I know a naked Alicia Silverstone urging you to go Vegan is some heavy propaganda, but please, don't go Vegan. You're a carnivore damnit!
Video & pics below: NSFW. Not Rated R, but probably Rated PG-13 for partial nudity--namely the hiney. But you probably shouldn't view it anyway.
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Science: Angelina Jolie Has Sexiest WalkWho is has the sexiest walk on Earth? Nope, not Jessica Alba, it's The Jawa Report's special corespondent, delegate to the UN, and official mascot Angelina Jolie. You can't argue against science. I mean, there are numbers and equations and all sorts of fancy doo-dads!
And how dare they try to rig a scientific experiment. One that definitively, positively, empirically, and with epistemological certitude proves that Angelina is hot. And I mean smokin.
The video below is what we call an anecdote. It's not science..... but it's proof enough for me.
I couldn't find a video comparing Angelina Jolie to Jessica Alba, but it is Angelina vs. Liv Tyler. On the negative side it does have a Justin Timberlake soundtrack. On the positive side it has ANGELINA JOLIE and LIV TYLER! Just turn the sound off and enjoy. SFW unless you're in Saudi Arabia.
Bonus pic of Jessica Alba proving that she, like my beloved Angelina, is also a Jawa Report reader.
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Elvish Girls Gone Wild: Hot Girls of Blizzcon 2007
Okay, make that hot girl (singular) of Blizzcon 2007. Q: Do they hire the hot ones or what? I bet Ace would know..... Requires Divx (Safe for Middle Earth but not for Narnia).
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Video: Beyonce's Shirt Comes Off at ConcertVideo below. Beyonce's shirt kinda flies up at a concert. No bra (I think, vid not that great). So off only in the sense that's its not exactly covering what its meant to cover. Looks more like a real wardrobe malfunction as opposed to, you know, a 'wardrobe malfunction'.
You'd think that in the age of small portable cams and the internet that one would think these things like, I dunno, wearing a little boob support. I saw one MSM outlet that is running the video describe Beyonce Knowles as "Bootylicious". I. Kid. You. Not
I know, she's no Mojo Nixon, but she's sooo hot. Besides, we need the hits. Think of the hits!
Two versions of the video below. One of them ought to work for ya. Neither of them really show much. I wouldn't really put this in the NSFW category as much as I would file it under celebrities ought to know better. Or, at least, celeb wardrobe people ought to.
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Britney Spears' Hot Topless Girl on Girl Action!
And now for something completely different. Too good to fact check: Britney Spears is having a lesbian affair with her 21 year old assistant Shannon Funk. And get this: OK magazine has pics of the two fooling around topless.
Yes Timmy, there is a God. Er, or Allah. Or something.
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Muhammed on Hillary Clinton's Fat AnklesAh, it's all making sense now:
It is mentioned that Imam Sadegh, one of the twelve holy figures in Shia after the Prophet, stated, “Whenever the prophet wanted to marry a woman, he would send someone to see her. He would tell them, ’smell her neck, because if that smells good, she would smell good and look at her ankle, because if that is fat, she would have a fat vagina‘â€
Leia vs. Padme, Who's Hotter? Luke Speaks!
I know Padme isn't really his daughter, and Leia isn't really his sister. But still, coming out of Luke's mouth it gives me the creeps. Agent Bedhead quotes:
"Nothing against Carrie - because I had a great crush on her as well - but there's just something about Natalie's stilted dialogue. She's gorgeous and one of the great beauties of the world." ---[Mark Hamill]
Science! Most Terrorists Are Muslims
Some things are so obvious, they beg for scientific investigation. Take #4 on Psychology Today's Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature List:
"4. Most suicide bombers are Muslim"
Gee, ya think?
It wouldn't be worth commenting on, except that any scientific journal admitting that publicly--even if it's only at their website-- is a newsworthy event. In fact, for any one in academia to ever suggest that there is a connection between Islam and terrorism is a one-way ticket to an institutional review board for hate crimes.
As surprising as that admission is, though, the authors attempt to wriggle out of the initial *shocking* headline, and get at the real cause of suicide bombers mass-murdering infidels and apostates. Here's a hint: it's not Islam.
I'm guessing that this explains all those suicide bombers coming out of Colorado City, Arizona?
To be fair, the authors suggest that the "72 Virgins" doctrine is also a causal factor. Which, I guess, could be read as a teaching of Islam inspiring suicide attacks. But the authors are really suggesting that it is lack of sex here combined with the promise of more sex in Paradise that is the real motivating factor.
1
Gee! Most terrorists are muslim. Such wisdom. Let us welcome muslims to America. Rusty can welcome them at the airport.
Posted by: greyrooster at July 06, 2007 05:33 PM (DYtTi)
2
well im f'ing shocked , lack of nookie is right , if they would stop covering there women ,and stop kissing so many men in public {and private } they might get some from a woman once in a while ?
Posted by: psycopatt1 at July 08, 2007 05:12 AM (PzQS1)
Angelina Jolie Sex Shop and Nude No Strings Attached Jessica Alba SexHeadlines like that get you hits. Mentions from Rush Limbaugh and CNN don't.
It's a formula, but damnit it works!
I'd take a link from the blogfather at LGF or an Instalanche any day over a mention on CNN, but I can't understand why a Limbaughlanche wouldn't produce the hits.
You're still here? Pervs. Okay, just so you don't call me a tease, actual headline related "news" below.
Heh, it's the weekend, no one reads this crap anyway. Plus, since Vinnie apparently doesn't find Ms. Jolie attractive--which is an obvious sign of teh ghey-- and I'll take any chance I can get to out him.
1
Looks like Vinnie and I share the same tastes in women. I also don't find tramp-stamped, blood-drinking Angelina to be very attractive. Actually, she looks used up to me. I'm sure she was drop-dead gorgeous before all that dirty tattoo ink hit her bod...
Posted by: mrclark at June 16, 2007 06:13 PM (Jj3bJ)
6
That's a pshop someone around here made during the Mo Cartoon thingy, which would indicate, if it were real, that Jessica stands defiant against dhimmitude by looking at pictures of Mohammed. You don't remember that whole deal?
All of you, ghey ghey ghey!!!
Posted by: Rusty at June 16, 2007 07:45 PM (JQjhA)
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I with Nigel. I'm hopelessly old fashioned, and tattoos on women simply gross me out. So, Angelina actually turns my stomach. Jessica, OTOH... I'd hit that in a heartbeat (And, that's probably all the time I'd need). LOL!
Posted by: Hucbald at June 16, 2007 10:01 PM (0Zliy)
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Jolie has a face flat as a pancake. An over-hyped weird-do lefturd. Billy Bob must be happy now.
Posted by: greyrooster at June 16, 2007 10:11 PM (AsTKg)
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And WOODY HARRELSON a big time eco-freak made that nasty movie THE POEPLE VS LARRY FLINT
Posted by: sandpiper at June 18, 2007 11:41 AM (qMAo+)
Muslim Brotherhood Calls for Attacks on U.S.
The Muslim Brotherhood is an international Islamist political party which strives for the imposition of sharia law. Since they officially renounced violence, many in the West have taken to calling them 'moderates'. But what they say in English and what they say in Arabic are different matters alltogether. MEMRI:
In his weekly sermon, the general guide of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt, Muhammad Mahdi 'Akef, called for attacks in Palestine, Iraq, and Afghanistan....
'Akef called for directing the energy of the resistance, with all the means at its disposal, towards the real enemy of the nation, the occupying, murdering, torturing, and plundering enemy of all good things, the enemy concealed in Jerusalem, Baghdad, and Kabul, the enemy who thinks itself the only human race with the right to live, even at the expense of abandoning the others.
Remember that the Muslim American Society and the ISNA are both fronts for American Islamists with Muslim Brotherhood sympathies. And I'm fairly sure the Pennsylvania Imam calling for Ayaan Hirsi Ali's death for blasphemy and apostasy is part of the Brotherhood.
Posted by: sandpiper at April 23, 2007 09:53 AM (nzpL/)
2
Is it yet time to let the American tax-payer get his moneys' worth out of investing in Trident Missiles? I mean by actually using them against these barbarous f**ks.
Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at April 23, 2007 12:39 PM (j97MF)
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Um.. you mean the "moderate" Muslim Brotherhood, the ones that Steny Hoyer was recently hobnobbing with? Say it ain't so...lol
Posted by: Kafir at April 23, 2007 02:25 PM (HsmTD)
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Wait a minute, you mean Steny when over there and talked to these guys and they stilll want to kill us!? I'm shocked, shocked to the bone?!?!?
/sarcasm
Posted by: Darth Odie at April 23, 2007 03:04 PM (YHZAl)
(Video) Veronika Zemanova "The Model": Hotness vs. Talent, a scientific approach
Here is a pop video featuring Veronika Zemanova (Safe for work---but of the pg-13 variety).* Is Veronika Zemanova a "good" singer? Of course!
There is a trade-off between "hot" and "talented". And science proves it! I've produced the following graph using using SPSS**. The values are both on a 10 point scale. With a "10" both the hottest and most talented a performer can acheive.
According to the charts --- and charts don't lie --- the hotter one is, the less talented the performer needs to be. In fact, ugly singers ( 1 - 3) must be extremely talented to be considered 'good'. Singers of 'average' looks ( 5 -7) need to fairly talented ( 7 - 9 ). But extremely hot chicks need very little talent. For instance, Angelina Jolie in her prime (10 -- if you disagree, you're banned for life!) needs precisely zero talent to merit her an automatic platinum album.
Science!
In the future, all smokin hot chicks will be "pop stars". Veronika Zemanova, is there anything she can't do?
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Yes I think that was a good video to test out the Divx on. I agree all Hot Chicks are going to be pop singers in the future, or at least they shold be.
Posted by: Stix at April 18, 2007 08:33 PM (Dv+8i)
Funniest Thing I've Seen Today
Imam issues fatwa against nudity...during marital sex.
According to the religious edict issued by Rashad Hassan Khalil, a former dean of Al-Azhar University’s faculty of Sharia (or Islamic law), “being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriageâ€.
Unnamed sources quote Mrs. Rusty Shackleford as saying, "It's about time!"
Posted by: greyrooster at April 12, 2007 08:00 PM (2J0r9)
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Never thought about getting naked during sex and now its a sin. Damn, I too late to the party again.
Posted by: Unclezeb at April 12, 2007 08:13 PM (l4QX/)
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Holy Christ this is too damn funny. What's really funny is that Jessica Simpson is smarter than any one of these imams. It seems that being a muslim is nothing more than a life long sausage fest. I bet that imams wife is a real looker. Kind of like the buck toothed nag that wore the veil in the old Bugs Bunny cartoons.
Posted by: Rome at April 12, 2007 08:21 PM (/GrlO)
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Some Mormons choose to not remove their special temple garments while having sex. These temple garments are their special underwear that they must always wear. here is a link to the wiki article on them.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_garment_%28Mormonism%29
Mormons don't really like taliking about their temple garments they are sort of a secret.
Posted by: John Ryan at April 12, 2007 09:49 PM (TcoRJ)
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Yeah, they choose. They don't get Mormon clergy demanding it.
Posted by: Vinnie at April 12, 2007 10:16 PM (/MVxv)
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John Ryan would know about other mens underwear. Friggin faggot.
Posted by: greyrooster at April 15, 2007 08:56 AM (2J0r9)
Iraqi Shada Hassoon: So Hot, She May End the WarIraqi expatriot Shada Hassoon is so hot, she may single-handedly end Iraq's bloody civil war. Shia and Sunni alike bask in her hotness. The finalist on the Lebanese equivalent of "American Idol" is said to be unifying Iraqis like nothing before.
Okay, maybe a bit of hyperbole, but just read this CNN story below. That's the language that's being used by her fans. For my money she's attractive, but fellow contestant Lebanese Tina Yamout is so hot that her mere presence on TV sends Hizbullah goons into hiding.
Bonus Shada Hasoon and Tina Yamout videos and picss below.
Shada Hassoon, a charismatic and talented 26-year-old singer, is doing for Iraq what weary politicians in that strife-torn country have so far failed to do: unite the fractious nation.
Posted by: Abdullah al-Libi at March 29, 2007 09:53 PM (a8tl6)
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"ummm Which side are we on ?" I'm always on the side of the USA, a position which naturally gets a negative reaction from those who hate the good ol' USA. The elected Iraqi government leads to a better middle east, and that is good for the ol' USA, so I support all efforts to end the sectarian violence. That's what 'side' I'm on.
USA, all the way!
Posted by: Michael Weaver at March 30, 2007 04:32 AM (2OHpj)
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Iraqis can't be voting for American Idol wannabes! They're dying in droves for bushs ILLEGAL OCCUPATION!! Don't they know that their lives are too horrendous to involve themselves in meaningless consumerism???
Also, how the hell do they see this and/or vote since Bushitler destroyed all the TV and electrical infrastructure??
Posted by: brainy435 at March 30, 2007 11:57 AM (JPs/+)
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I first heard about her tonite on the eve of 30 March & the Star Academy TV Show to take place in a few hours. When I heard how
Iraqis of all kinds are spending their last dinars to repair their generators just to see her....what a great story! May she win everybody's heart tonite. I want so much for this to happen!
There should be love experienced by everyone in this terrible time.
Around Shada, it is happening!
Posted by: Franklin at March 30, 2007 12:32 PM (l+OIM)
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unbrainy435: Illegal occupation. What the fuck is a legal occupation. Dork.
Posted by: greyrooster at March 31, 2007 01:36 AM (LDOOz)
Henry Kissinger on Angelina Jolie: I'd Hit That!Apparently, there is not a single person on the planet that doesn't want a piece of official Jawa Report hot-bi-curious babe mascot, Angelina Jolie.
Q: Once Angelina Jolie is on the Council on Foreign Relations, do the Illuminati immediately start Armageddon or do they have to wait for some kind of signal?
And if Henry Kissinger really is the Antichrist, does this make our darling Angelina the Whore of Babylon or The Beast or something like that?
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Posted by: xiaoxinwow at March 08, 2007 07:56 PM (X3bgn)
Posted by: greyrooster at March 09, 2007 12:20 AM (37Xvs)
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Jolie has a face like a pancake. Wonder if she still wears Billy Bob's tatoo on her arm. Some say her appeal is her lips that resemble another part of the anatomy.
Posted by: greyrooster at March 09, 2007 12:22 AM (37Xvs)
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Looking at her makes me want to shower. Don't get me wrong. If I were younger I would be all over her. But having spent enough time in the std clinic in the past I can recognize syphillis on two legs.
Posted by: SeeMonk at March 09, 2007 05:48 AM (yKwZ2)
10
For some reason, her appeal is lost on me. I guess I just don't find women who are likely to pull a knife on you in bed very sexy.
Posted by: Mumblix Grumph at March 09, 2007 06:10 AM (EDOzd)
11
By the way, I'd much rather shag Kate Winslett.
Posted by: Mumblix Grumph at March 09, 2007 06:11 AM (EDOzd)
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A.J. is the gal who shows you an absolutely incredible weekend in Vegas, then takes your car keys and your wallet when you pass out in the motel. She leaves you something to remember her by though, something that mystifies your doctor.
Julia Ormand maybe,or Kate Beckinsale
Posted by: Paul Moore at March 09, 2007 07:11 AM (VZV9e)
Justice for Darfur: Hot Lipstick Bi-Curious-Lesbian Angelina Jolie Solves Genocide Forever!
And now, an important word from official Jawa Report representative to the United Nations, Angelina Jolie. I've taken the key points from Angelina's editorial in the Washington Post, and improved them. Does she really believe that an International Criminal Court could have any effective power over genocidal maniacs? Give me a break. Honey, stick to the soft-core porn, and leave the thinking to the professionals. And while your at it, make me a sandwich!
From her WaPo editorial:
Here, at this refugee camp on the border of Sudan, nothing separates us from Darfur but a small stretch of desert and a line on a map. All the same, it's a line I can't cross. As a representative of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, I have traveled into Darfur before, and I had hoped to return. But the UNHCR has told me that this camp, Oure Cassoni, is as close as I can get.
Sticking to this side of the Sudanese border is supposed to keep me safe. By every measure -- killings, rapes, the burning and looting of villages -- the violence in Darfur has increased since my last visit, in 2004. The death toll has passed 200,000; in four years of fighting, Janjaweed militia members have driven 2.5 million people from their homes, including the 26,000 refugees crowded into Oure Cassoni.....
Until the killers and their sponsors are prosecuted and punished, violence will continue on a massive scale. Ending it may well require military action. But accountability can also come from international tribunals, measuring the perpetrators against international standards of justice....
More of the official goddess of The Jawa Report, mistress Angelina Jolie, below.
Posted by: GOP Core at February 28, 2007 07:25 PM (b0FZu)
4
Being that Sudan is an important ally in the war on terror, we must try to understand and accepct certain of its internal policies (such as genocide and mass rape)
Posted by: JOHN RYAN at February 28, 2007 07:29 PM (TcoRJ)
5
Come on, give her some respect.. She may be a diva but at least she is a UN Goodwill Ambassador diva.
"... leave the thinking to the professionals." Angelina just got nominated for the Council on Foreign Relation. That's an exclusive think tank with names
like Colin Powell, Alan Greenspan, and Henry Kissinger.
Posted by: Brangelina at February 28, 2007 08:44 PM (G97t+)
Rusty made her, "Official goddess of The Jawa Report." WTF else do you want? Gees! You just can't please some people.
Posted by: Howie at February 28, 2007 08:58 PM (YHZAl)
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That's a fauxto... Look at the proportions of the head to the body and the piss-poor cutting around the knee.
Besides, what agent would allow the "fried-egg" effect on one of their clients?
Not her body.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at February 28, 2007 09:51 PM (vRnST)
8Being that Sudan is an important ally in the war on terror, we must try
to understand and accepct certain of its internal policies (such as
genocide and mass rape)
As opposed to Clinton's consistent policy of ignoring most of Sudan's rape and genocide that occurred on his watch...just like he did in Rwanda. Of course if now they are helping us catch your terrorist heroes I could see how that might upset you John.
Posted by: Randman at February 28, 2007 10:26 PM (Sal3J)
The Hollywood pin-up credited with turning the Australian [Ugg] boots into a global fashion phenomenon denounced the footwear on her website.
In a truly blonde moment, the actress has suddenly realised that the boots are made from shaved sheepskin.
And mother-of-two Pammy, a staunch animal rights activist who has been a PETA member for a decade, says she is racked with guilt that women worldwide have followed in her footsteps.
I remember Rush Limbaugh used to advertise Ugg boots way back when. Personally, I never got it. But maybe that's because, unlike the Canadian Anderson, I'm a native Californian and the thought of wearing anything heavier than a pair of Van's seems more than a bit odd. Anyway, I'd like to credit Rush with the fashion trend, but I'm having a much better time imagining Pamela in those boots than Rush.
Mmmmmmmmm, Pam Anderson's, er, boots.
Thanks to Jules Crittendon for e-mailing this to me, he has more here. Michelle Malkin notes:
Anderson's epiphany comes as PETA is stepping up boycott efforts against Australian wool producers.
PETA: Is it just me or do the folks at PETA make you long for the days when cannibalism was more common? Mmmmm, deep fried PETA.......
1
PETA kills more animals in their shelter than even the State! said it was cheaper to kill them than feed them despite raising 29 million dollars a year!!
Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at February 27, 2007 02:32 PM (vixLB)
3
Damn Rusty, That pic she looks bad in the face. The Hep really shows in that one.
Posted by: Darth Odie at February 27, 2007 04:35 PM (YHZAl)
4
No Rusty, it isn't just you. The part of the brain that reacts to the yumminess of food, is very connected to the part that reacts to the yumminess of women. This plays out in behavior involving the romatic appllication of dessert toppings, and on a darker note, may have something to do with the real world versions of the Hannibal Lector type character. I think I mentioned once that we as a species were naturally resistant to Kuru desease, which you only are suppossed to get by eating human brains. Human beings are such fascinating creatures ... USA, all the way!
Posted by: Michael Weaver at February 27, 2007 05:13 PM (2OHpj)
5
Rusty ... not saying your a cannibal, just to be clear
USA, all the way!
Posted by: Michael Weaver at February 27, 2007 05:14 PM (2OHpj)
6
You mean PETA doesn't stand for
People Eating Tasty Animals? ;-)
I still want that on a tshirt!
Posted by: Å hard at February 27, 2007 05:57 PM (XHHRf)
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And this ding-bat dose stupid ads for PETA while they kill 90% of all animals they have adopted just show dumb is PAMELA ANDERSON? well i guess FOREST GUMP is right STUPID IS AS STUPID DOSE
Posted by: sandpiper at February 28, 2007 10:58 AM (4pkrX)
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How about the way they demean humans by comparing the suffering of African slaves to the suffering of animals, like they are the same thing. 10,000 years ago the human species was in direct compitition with other life. We ate it to survive, when it wasn't trying to eat us. We are Humans. First, last, and always. We can choose to be polite when we eat other things, but nothing in nature requires that of us. Nature judges a species on it's efficiency, not it's squeamishness. USA, all the way! and pass the oven baked PETA!
Posted by: Michael Weaver at March 01, 2007 07:05 PM (2OHpj)
Finally, Alicia Silverstone NUDE. Remind me not to say that PETA is good for nothing ever again. They are good for something: getting naive, stupid, and hot* celebs to take their clothes off!
Who is has the sexiest walk on Earth? Nope, not Jessica Alba, it's The Jawa Report's special corespondent, delegate to the UN, and official mascot Angelina Jolie. You can't argue against science. I mean, there are numbers and equations and all sorts of fancy doo-dads! 
Video below. Beyonce's shirt kinda flies up at a concert. No bra (I think, vid not that great). So off only in the sense that's its not exactly covering what its meant to cover. Looks more like a real wardrobe malfunction as opposed to, you know, a 'wardrobe malfunction'.
Ah, it's all making sense now:
Iraqi expatriot Shada Hassoon is so hot, she may single-handedly end Iraq's bloody civil war. Shia and Sunni alike bask in her hotness. The finalist on the Lebanese equivalent of "American Idol" is said to be unifying Iraqis like nothing before.
Apparently, there is not a single person on the planet that doesn't want a piece of official Jawa Report hot-bi-curious babe mascot, Angelina Jolie.
Honestly, was anyone really looking at Pamela Anderson's boots?
