Don't Let The Door Hit You In The Butt Etc. Etc.

Glenn Beck offers this "moving, inspirational piece that recounts our time with President Tom. From every holocaust denying moment, to all those homophobic viewpoints"

We invaded Panama, captured Noriega, tried and convicted him for drug trafficking, and we let this twerp go? A dictator involved in the drug trade can be imprisoned, but a dictator who's killing our troops by supplying arms to terrorists can't be?

The mind reels.

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If A Meeting Were a Blog Comment Thread...

Funny.

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Baghdad Patrol: Caption Contest

Caption this photo. Thanks to Carlo.

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Heartache: bin Ladens Divorce

They made such a great couple. Kinda makes you think: if it could happen to the bin Laden's, it could happen to any one.

Of course, most of us don't have the added pressure of a death fatwa or honor killing coming between us and our spouses. But, hey, that's not so different than the current credit crunch putting stress on marriage, is it?

Omar bin Laden's father, Osama, could not be reached for comment from hell. more...

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Maddox on the iPhone

Sorry, AllahP, but an iPhone fanboy he is not. The Nokia E70 appears to be the phone of the true pirate.

First of all, the E70 has a full keyboard, not some shitty stripped down, tap-and-pray smudgy piece of shit. Nokia uses a technology that's even more advanced than the iPhone's tap screen, allowing you to actually feel the keys you press as you're pressing them! The technology is called "tactile response," and it allows you to do things like dial a phone number without staring at your screen like a shit-chucking ape. In fact, every other cellphone ever made has this technology, sometimes called "buttons."

It's pretty devastating. And hilarious.

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How To End Life With Your Guitar

Yes - that's John F'ing Petrucci from Dream Theater. You're about to get PWNED, noobs.

Hucbald, Doriangrey - this one's for you.

If you liked that, this one's pretty good as well. (below the jump)-----> more...

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"A Matter of National Security"

If you have three minutes and 21 seconds to kill, this is a great way to do it. Make sure you watch the whole thing - the last ten seconds are freakin' awesome.

BONUS: John "Government Mandated Doctor's Visits For You" Edwards gets a mention in the rant!

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San Fran Black Flight: Liberal Crisismania!

So those uppity blacks are casting off the yokes of city-machine politics and liberal programs designed for their betterment, and are leaving the city of San Francisco in droves.

Yeah. That's what happens when you promise everything in return for votes, and return nothing.

No single cause explains the continuing exodus, according to city officials, leaders in the black community, demographers and current and former black residents. The high cost of housing — one of the highest in the nation — is a dominant theme, but there are other factors:

•The loss in the 1950s and 1960s of a key black enclave to urban renewal.

•High crime rates in some of the city's surviving black neighborhoods.

•Substandard public housing, as acknowledged by city officials.

•Dissatisfaction with underperforming urban schools.

"Black people really don't matter in San Francisco. It's what this generation of political leadership inherited," says Chuck Collins, president of the YMCA of San Francisco. "There's been a very uneasy truce with the black population."

Hey. Complain to the San Fran Democrats - that is exclusively their turf (Pelosi turf, at that). Ask them why their progressive Mecca simply wasn't cutting it for anyone but the rich, elitist limousine liberals and their "culture.'

Cripes. They're acting like the advancement, financial improvement and uplifting of the black community is a bad thing because the blacks aren't choosing what is obviously (according to the liberals out there) 'good for them.' Even though most thinking folk know and have known for a long time that what the liberals offer isn't good for anyone except a small, elitist, wealthy subset of the population.

And what's the lib solution to this, um, "problem?" More government! A government "task force," no less!

The task force "ought to study what's wrong with the white power structure, why they can't be responsive to the African-American community," says Amos Brown, pastor of Third Baptist Church and president of the local NAACP chapter. "They didn't need us anymore."

Stopping black flight will be "an uphill battle," Blakely says. "If you're a middle-class African-American, one of your dreams was to move into a nice mixed neighborhood and send your kid to a decent school."

Today, African-Americans across the USA are "suburbanizing" at a rate slightly higher than whites, he says. "As their incomes go up, they move out."

That's usually how it works. And the San Fran libs want to put a stop to it.

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Radioctive Money Helps Nab Insurgents!

It's from the Weekly World News, so it must be true:

“With the help of the American CIA, we put tiny, radioactive fibers in special bills,” said an anonymous source named ‘Tariq’ at the Iraqi mint. “These were given to suspected insurgents so that we could follow the money whenever it changed hands. Now we know exactly when it’s used to buy weapons from Iran or Syria.” ...

“Each of the ‘hot’ bills shows up as a tiny blip on our monitors,” he said. “As soon as one of them passes from Iraq, we close in on whoever is spending the money.

A super-sekrit source tells The Jawa Report that the bills are handed out by double-agent squirrels!

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People Mocking Muslims in UK Accused of "Racism"

Free speech meets the UK's thought police.

Newsflash to the empty-headed grievance hordes - ISLAM IS NOT A RACE. IT IS A BELIEF SYSTEM AND A RELIGION.

By this standard, anybody who criticizes or mocks Christianity or Judaism is a racist. That puts a LOT of 'racists' squarely on the left.

Thank you. Next.

ht: LGF

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TheWit and Wisdom of Che Guevara

David Thompson has a few tidbits today on Che chic:

in 1961, at a hemispheric conference in Uruguay, where he predicted a 10 percent rate of growth for Cuba ‘without the slightest fear,’ and, by 1980, a per capita income greater than that of ‘the U.S. today.’ In fact, by 1997, the thirtieth anniversary of his death, Cubans were dieting on a ration of five pounds of rice and one pound of beans per month; four ounces of meat twice a year; four ounces of soybean paste per week; and four eggs per month.

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Terrorist As*hole Blows Himself Up

This is just too funny. These are the idiots that the Democrats/NYT/antiwarbots want to surrender to.

Maybe the funniest war porn vid posted yet.

BONUS: More terrorist as*holes blowing themselves up accidentally.

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Wiccan Arrested for "Practicing Religion..."

...well, actually, she was building a huge bonfire ten feet from her house while shouting incantations at the New Moon. When neighbors got a tad freaked out, they called the police.

Reality is stranger than fiction:

Neighbors called police shortly after midnight Tuesday and, after an officer arrived, he heard the woman yelling in the backyard and found her wearing headphones, a T-shirt and underwear, the captain said. [...]

He said Barney at one point poured lighter fluid on the fire, in which she was burning rubber car mats and a cooler. Barney refused to cooperate with police and was belligerent, and her breath smelled of alcohol, Babe added

But the kicker doesn't come until the last line of the dispatch:

Wicca is a nature-based religion based on respect for the earth, nature and the cycle of the seasons.

Respecting the Earth...by burning coolers and rubber floor mats in huge bonfires while screaming drunk inanities.

That sounds about my speed! Where can I sign up for this "religion?"

I leave you with this:

Wiccans, celebrating the Summer Solstice

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Just Doing The Job The NutRoots Won't Do

I blame Harry Pelosi and Nancy Reid.

SEOUL, South Korea - Heavy rains spawned flooding that left "hundreds" dead or missing in North Korea and destroyed more than 30,000 homes, the country's state media reported Tuesday.

I'm sure there's a Kos diarrhea-ist out there furiously scrambling to try and blame this on Bush.

I'll pre-empt them by blaming it on Kim Jong Il's useful idiots.

Let's face it, you can't take on Kim, because he has Arec Bardwin

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Coulter on Beauchamp

"Absolutely Fabulist:"

He had tried to stay out of ideological battles by writing made-up articles in a national magazine claiming soldiers in Iraq had become callous beasts because of George Bush's war, killing to "secure the riches of the empire." Alas, this proved an ineffective method of keeping his head low. Beauchamp's next bid for privacy will be an attempt to host "The Price Is Right."

Elizabeth Edwards could not be reached for comment.

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Arafat Was Gay, Died of AIDS!

Ah, another example of death being funny! There have been rumors of this flying around since right after his death that Arafat was gay and had AIDS. Recently, MEMRI ran a translation of an Al-Manar TV (a Hizbollah station) interview with Ahmad Jibril, Secretary-General of the PFLP General Command, who claimed that Abbas was informed that Arafat had the AIDS.

The video I link below is from August 5th. I'm told that it shows Arafat's personal doctor confirming that he had AIDS. Just click the image to watch.

As they say, too good to fact check!

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Liveblogging Tonight's Democrat Debate

Whoops, it started 50 minutes ago.

My bad.

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Finally: A Weapon that Makes You Barf

It's like all my childhood fantasies coming true at once...... Next in line for science: the orgasmorator.

Thanks to Jim at PoliSat who thinks this is some sort of puke saber.

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Hackers PWN Dateline NBC Reporter

I know I'm late to the game on this, but I have a friend who was at Defcon 15 over the weekend and so I just had to post something. What was funny is how paranoid he was. He was was using wifi from his room and he was 100% sure that with so many people with mad haqing skillz around, all communication was being intercepted. As if sending up-to-the-minute Lindsay Lohan updates was information that somehow needed to be protected.....

Anyway, the crux of the story is that Dateline's Michelle Madigan went to Defcon "undercover". She's better know for her involvement in Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" series. She was told to wear a press pass, but didn't. Apparently she was trying to use hidden cameras, maybe to catch some hackers doing....whatever. But she was found out and--literally-chased off.

Hilarious video below. more...

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Why Adam Gadahn Became an al Qaeda Terrorist

This explains a lot. I'm not sure which is less likely: Gadahn getting laid or the Dodgers winning the series. more...

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I'm With Stupid

Friday fun post!

AUGUST 1--Meet Amanda Lynn Bailey. The Florida woman, 41, was arrested early yesterday on a drunk driving charge, her second DUI bust in the past three months. Bailey, a dealer at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Tampa, was booked into the Hillsborough County jail at 4:41 AM. There, a sheriff's employee snapped the below mug shot of Bailey, making sure that the photo's composition included the entire unfortunate message on her t-shirt.

Make sure you click through the whole slide show. Dr. Rusty Shackleford is at #10.

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Random Troll Tweaking Post

Update by Vinnie: Michael Weaver notes that the poster above isn't written in "moonbatese" and perhaps they may not understand it. Maybe they'll understand this one:

Posted by: Good Lt. at 11:29 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Heh.

GET A CHUCKLE OR TWO BELOW THE FOLD ---> more...

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Ace Honors the 'Hidden Heroes' of War

Heh.

Double heh.

Rick Ellensburg and the Boyz from Brazil thank you, Ace.

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The Harry Potter Phenomenon

Every one else is playing nice about it.

I won't.

If J.K. Rowling wants me to protect her precious secrets, she can funnel me some serious coin.

Even so, I'll be polite and put this spoiler post under the fold. If you click it, it's your fault, not mine. more...

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