Video is below. Scroll way down.

There are sluts and there are sluts. Which one is Paris Hilton? Both. The thing about finding another Paris Hilton sex video is this: it's as surprising as it interesting--which is to say that it's neither.

But, if you're into that sort of thing, there's a very NSFW promo video of Paris below. Don't say I didn't warn you. I did. In fact, I'd encourage you NOT to watch it. But, if you sleazy pervs are going to watch it anyway, you might as well watch it here. Like smoking. If you're going to kill yourself, please do it with my brand. 1,000,000 hits, baby!

In this video Paris films herself, surprise, getting into various degrees of undress in every conceivable public place and, shock, having sex. Bigger shocker? Doing coke. Smoking dope.

Isn't the guy fondling her (censored pic below) that dude from Girls Gone Wild? I mean, come on. What's next, the Paris Hilton Gang Bang 500?

Anyway, I used to be somewhat intrigued by Paris Hilton, but not anymore. I guess I'm just turned off by a chick that thinks so highly of herself that she videotapes every aspect of her intimate life. As if her life was reality TV. And that people care.

One caveat: that whole faux lesbo thing? Yeah, a little intriguing.

More pics and video below. For our soldiers in Iraq. You know, just in case there's one of them who hasn't already nailed Paris Hilton. And videotaped it. Anyway, this website claims that Paris Hilton failed to pay for her storage unit, so they bought all this stuff legally at auction. "This is not stuff about Paris Hilton," they claim, "It's Paris Hilton's stuff." They've got receipts, personal letters, and even diary entries. They've even got her passport. And her driver's license.

I'm not sure which is sleazier: Paris Hilton or a website that has no problem showing the world Paris Hilton's passport. I'm sure there is some prurient interest in Paris Hilton flashing the beaver at various Hollywood nightclubs to any one who cares for a peak, but why does the public need to see Paris Hilton's

driver's license?

So, why are you surfing the net for Paris Hilton porn, you might ask? I wasn't. I'm a victim of Ace of Spades HQ. Yes, like all vices in my life, I blame the Ace o' Spades Lifestyle. Ace, by the way, agrees with my assessment:

Dear Paris Hilton,

....You're not hot. I look at you and see a walking petri dish for a new mutant strain of venereal disease, a mutate combining the worst parts of the herpes, hanta and ebola viruses. I full-blown level-5 hot zone for one's privates.

And also -- seriously -- a powerful tranny vibe, too.

It's a kind of sexual early warning light that won't stop blinking.

I'm not 100% certain that you have herpes, and I don't know for the fact you've had some pieces swapped out for aftermarket parts intended for an entirely different chassis. But I'll go with my gut......

Please, please. Just go away.

UPDATE: Here's the faux-tampon smoking screengrab from one of the videos.

Charming. I'm sure daddy Hilton is proud.

AGAIN: Warning video below NSFW or anyone under 18. Or Anyone, for that matter.

Scroll down for the video.

v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v

v

v
v
v
v
v
v

Last chance to bail. I'm serious. I think I'm going to heave after seeing Paris nude again.

v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v

Seriously, what would your mom think?

v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v

Let her rip. Freaking pervs. Seriously.

UPDATE: Google took down the Paris Hilton Nude at Computer, With Dimebag and Bong vid linked below.....so we're going to go ahead and post it here.

You know, this is how I imagine all women surf the web. Enjoy, in that very Jerry Springer way. Because, seriously, this is some wierd stuff.

Related: Paris Hilton Nude Video with some dude in bed
Paris Hilton Nude at Computer, breaks out pot and bong

......ping for Joyner, my idol. He also has more stuff about this here.

UGH UPDATE: Other hero Aylward....has this to say on what used to be his blog? "We wish them [the website] well." Now, since it's a chick doing the blogging (Tracey Kane), we'll let that pass. You know, good gay. But Kev, baby, where's the taste?

Posted by: Rusty at 03:32 PM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
Post contains 838 words, total size 7 kb.

1 She is a tired act indeed, and as truly earned the title of "gutterslut".

Posted by: Jack's Smirking Revenge at January 25, 2007 04:29 PM (CtVG6)

2 Dirty, dirty, shameless dirty linkwhore.

I love it.

Posted by: Vinnie at January 25, 2007 04:29 PM (fdAim)

3 Skanks aren't sexy.

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at January 25, 2007 04:36 PM (8e/V4)

4 Funny thing, cruising around for news about this another shocker: Paris.  Has.  Herpes.

Bwahahahaaaaaaa!!

Posted by: Macktastick Rusty Wicked at January 25, 2007 04:49 PM (JQjhA)

5 me likey very much....after weeks of the holland tunnel troll named rosie i'd book an extended stay at the paris hilton anytime.

Posted by: dr. akim ullshitbay at January 25, 2007 06:20 PM (Ax65U)

6 Totally sick, barf!

Posted by: oldhippy at January 25, 2007 06:39 PM (BrndJ)

7 "For our soldiers in Iraq. You know, just in case there's one of them who hasn't already nailed Paris Hilton."

If she has served the soldiers/sailors/airmen/marines in the way that you suggest, then the poor thing probably just wanted to do her bit for the war effort ;-)

Posted by: Garduneh Mehr at January 25, 2007 07:24 PM (vixLB)

8 God hates skanks.

Posted by: Jesusland Carlos at January 25, 2007 08:03 PM (8e/V4)

9 I love watching stupid, spoiled whores suffer humiliation as a result of their own carelessness.

I hope the damage to her public career is epic.

Posted by: harpazo at January 25, 2007 08:47 PM (Y+CK6)

10 Rustys is right,  Or at least close she has a scrip for valtrex which can also be used for other similar virus like chicken pox, shingles. Simplex one too (ordinary cold sores) I found a download on this it was supposed to contain all seven .mov files but it was a tease just the sound and a white screen. 

Posted by: Howie at January 25, 2007 09:24 PM (2cR/Y)

11 The poor girl is obviously misunderstood and in need of nurturing. And an injection of vitamin Bluto.

Posted by: The Dread Pundit Bluto at January 25, 2007 11:24 PM (p52Ne)

12 With teh inter-web and its abundance of good quality porn and hentai, I have no need to watch poser-sluts like Paris.

Posted by: Jones Zemkophill at January 26, 2007 12:04 AM (oN/VZ)

13 You know damn well that when you say don't what it. That we will watch it. Isn't fair.

Posted by: greyrooster at January 26, 2007 10:34 AM (w+w6p)

14 Having 500 million she will still find a husband. Probably, some Hollywood movie star.

Posted by: greyrooster at January 26, 2007 10:57 AM (w+w6p)

15 Bring back Jennifer Tilly                                  USA, all the way!

Posted by: Michael Weaver at January 26, 2007 11:41 AM (2OHpj)

16 The word for Jennifer Tilly is RIPE.

Posted by: greyrooster at January 28, 2007 01:52 AM (w+w6p)

17 2007 ford Prices http://ford.host-page.com/

Posted by: dealer at February 21, 2007 11:33 PM (BHnn+)

18 boolywood movies download

Posted by: Unknown at March 10, 2007 11:10 PM (a8tpw)

19 by soma watson

Posted by: Unknown at March 18, 2007 09:58 PM (d0Dgq)

20 actie downloaden film

Posted by: Unknown at March 19, 2007 11:07 PM (4VPgX)

21 commview ultram

Posted by: Unknown at March 29, 2007 05:04 PM (9eIXv)

22 The mission of the your site.:

Posted by: Pilojgvh at July 07, 2007 07:17 AM (olJSo)

Hide Comments | Add Comment