January 19, 2007

Correction re: "Kyrill"

It has come to our attention that the "Kyrill" destroying Germany are not giant mutant shrimps as earlier reported. Upon further investigation, it appears that "Kyrill" is actually a giant, mutant Gary Busey (see image below). We sincerely apologize for any confusion.

busey bmw.JPG

Posted by: Ragnar at 01:03 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.

January 18, 2007

Jawa Report Exclusive : Kyrill Attacking German Bundestag

krill attack bundestag.jpg

Posted by: Ragnar at 06:16 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 8 words, total size 1 kb.

YouTube Video : American Idol's Paula Abdul SMASHED

Posted by: Ragnar at 01:32 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 8 words, total size 1 kb.

January 17, 2007

Farewell to Yvonne deCarlo

YvonnedeCarlo.jpg

The lovely and talented Yvonne deCarlo recently passed away on January 8. Although she's most remembered these days for her role as Lily Munster, her biggest role was that of Moses' wife Sephora in The Ten Commandments. Although we remember her today as the stable, mature matron in goth makeup, deCarlo was known in the '40s and '50s for gorgeous looks and an active libido. When deCarlo was originally being considered for the role of Lily Munster, Al Lewis and Fred Gwynne were apparently very concerned about being associated with her saucy reputation. But she got the part, and the rest is history.

Posted by: Ragnar at 07:05 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 107 words, total size 1 kb.

January 16, 2007

"Deep Thoughts" by Jack Bauer

Jack Bauer of "24" shares his wisdom:

F**k diplomacy.

Actions speak louder than words. Though shouting can also be effective.

If you shoot a man's wife in the knee and he still doesn't give you the information, he's bad. ...

If you see me running down the street, it's probably a good idea to take cover.

The rest is here.

Posted by: Ragnar at 06:02 PM | Comments (31) | Add Comment
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

Golden Globes : Beyonce Knowles

beyonce2.JPG

Yes, indeed...

MORE 'GOLDEN GLOBES' BELOW THE FOLD
more...

Posted by: Ragnar at 03:55 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
Post contains 13 words, total size 1 kb.

YouTube Video : Barack Obama Cures Herpes??

Please, God, do not led Barack Hussein Obama get his hands on an Apple iPhone. He would be completely unstoppable.

Posted by: Ragnar at 12:38 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

January 15, 2007

Keeley Hazell Pulls a Paris Hilton Routine

I've not a clue who she is, but she's apparently famous over in Britain.

KeeleyHazell.jpg

Not content to let the yanks corner the market on sluttitude, she got naughty with a fellow and preserved it on videotape. The video of Keeley Hazell getting naughty is here and here (NSFW). OK, so showing off your naughty bits (a la Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Miss Nevada) and/or having sex on tape (a la Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, Daniela Cicarelli) is almost becoming a minimum requirement for fame in modern pop culture. Is this a good thing? I think not. What's next? Will the coming months and years bring the advent of starlets cavorting with farm animals?

Posted by: Ragnar at 04:13 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
Post contains 120 words, total size 1 kb.

January 14, 2007

YouTube Video : The Apple iPhone - Is There ANYTHING It Can't Do?

Posted by: Ragnar at 12:34 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 13 words, total size 1 kb.

YouTube Video : Sgt. Michelle Manhart on Fox

more...

Posted by: Ragnar at 12:01 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 17 words, total size 1 kb.

January 13, 2007

The Michelle Manhart Photos UNCENSORED

If you're looking for the Playboy photos of Sgt. Michelle Manhart for research purposes, you can find them here. If you're looking for the latest news in the Global War on Terror, that's here. more...

Posted by: Ragnar at 02:26 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 117 words, total size 1 kb.

Top Ten Wierd Google Searches That Will Get You to The Jawa Report

Ever wonder how total strangers find their way to The Jawa Report? We'd like to think it's the thousands of links to our invaluable analysis of the Global War on Terror that garner the world's attention. In a lot of cases, I'm sure that's what happens. Often, though, the reality is considerably wierder. Each of the following Google searches, for example, recently landed at least one unsuspecting victim here at this site:

10. "dog the bounty hunter arrested"
9. "sistani fatwa for mutaa"
8. "pedophile links"
7. "blondes hardcore porn clips -pre november 2004" (picky, aren't we?)
6. "beastiality"
5. "Ann coulter is an idiot"
4. "photos of zulu reed dance"
3. "Angelina Jolie toilet"
2. "free small penis xxx galleries"
1. "star wars porn"
I have no idea what conclusions, if any, one might draw from this list. I will note that the Google search for "free small penis xxx galleries" doesn't bring up anything I've written.

You may be saying "OK, so some readers get here through completely wierd searches. Surely a lot of people get here through serious searches." I'll let you be the judge. Check below the fold. more...

Posted by: Ragnar at 04:33 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 258 words, total size 2 kb.

January 12, 2007

Jawa Report Insomniac Comedy Theater

Lotsa videos for your entertainment. Indulge!

Get 'em. Gunney.

Fatality. Metaphor for 2006 GOP Election.

MORE VIDEOS BELOW THE FOLD --> more...

Posted by: Good Lt. at 10:56 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 58 words, total size 3 kb.

Sgt. Michelle Manhart in Hot Water over Playboy Photos

Military... check.
Hot chicks... check.
Nudity... check.
Controversy... check.

Yeah, as if there was any chance Ragnar wasn't gonna be on top of this one (so to speak):

SAN ANTONIO - An Air Force staff sergeant who posed nude for Playboy magazine has been relieved of her duties while the military investigates, officials said Thursday.

In February’s issue, hitting newsstands this week, Michelle Manhart is photographed in uniform yelling and holding weapons under the headline “Tough Love.” The following pages show her partially clothed, wearing her dog tags while working out, as well as completely nude.

If you're looking for pictures / photos / images of Sgt. Manhart (for research purposes,) they're here and here.

H/t : Ace and SayAnything.

Posted by: Ragnar at 04:26 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 127 words, total size 1 kb.

Simon Cowell: Your Hippie Demigod Bores Me

simon_cowell_idol-v_226727m.jpg

Funniest thing I've seen out there today.

One of the show's judges, Simon Cowell, says he has never bought a Dylan record because he "bores me to tears."

The British pop impresario says in the February issue of Playboy that he would "plug my ears and run in the other direction" if he were to see a 21-year-old Dylan singing "Blowin' in the Wind."

Bwahaha!

How many times can a man turn his head, pretending he just doesn't see? Well, Simon?

Posted by: Good Lt. at 01:02 PM | Comments (37) | Add Comment
Post contains 86 words, total size 1 kb.

YouTube Video : A Gift for the Sith Lord Who Has Everything...

Posted by: Ragnar at 08:56 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 12 words, total size 1 kb.

January 10, 2007

Tucker Carlson is in a Pissing Match

...with a Z-list blogger who apparently took it upon himself to post details about Tucker's video viewing habits.

In response, Carlson apparently complained and got the blogger fired from the Blockbuster where the blogger works. Now the Sinisphere's all riled up about the injustice done to this blogger.

I haven't ascertained whether they're more riled up about this than they are about Saddam Hussein's execution, the Jamil Hussein story or our recent actions in Somalia.

Posted by: Ragnar at 05:04 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 82 words, total size 1 kb.

January 09, 2007

The "Care Bears" Strategy

Fuzzy, at best.

Posted by: Good Lt. at 08:44 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 7 words, total size 1 kb.

Looking For The Daniela Cicarelli Video?

Its getting tough to keep track of. Thanks to Daniela Cicarelli, the YouTube is getting blocked all over Brazil.

SAO PAULO, Brazil -- Brazil's ban on YouTube spread to the nation's populous south Tuesday, with a huge Internet provider switching off access to the site in response to a judicial order banning a sexy video of supermodel Daniela Cicarelli.

Spanish-owned Telefonica SA issued a statement that it blocked the popular video sharing site after receiving the order, preventing millions of Internet users in Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro from viewing YouTube.

The announcement affecting Brazil's biggest cities and most populous states came a day after telecommunications company Brasil Telecom SA confirmed that it had blocked the site in a swath of the country stretching from the capital of Brasilia to the Amazon.

I'm sure the Brazilians love this. Way to earn the love of your countrymen, there, Daniela! I understand there's now a Boycott Daniela movement in the works.

In other news, it looks like Daniela Cicarelli's lawyers have been working overtime to squash copies of the now-famous video, which took the top spot from the Saddam Hanging Video last week. Personally, I don't see what the big deal is, but if you're looking for the video, you can find it here, here, here and here.

Posted by: Ragnar at 10:38 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 221 words, total size 2 kb.

Michael Muhammad Knight vs. Ibrahim Hooper

I'm not quite sure what to make of all this, but apparently, this Muslim kid has a beef with Ibrahim Hooper. Hey, I like him already:

Ibrahim Hooper’s a bully, and the only way to deal with a bully is to show that you’re not afraid of him—not in the courtroom, not in the ring, not on the yawmul-qiyamah. . . .

In the course of our match [Hooper] chokeslammed me onto 9,000 thumbtacks, put a dent in my head with some folding chairs and knocked me from the ring onto a beer pong table. Our Rabeya riot grrl in full niqab (with Vote Hezbollah patch on the back) tore up my shoulder with a giant dildo wrapped in barbed wire. That could have been her feminist critique of my work; I'm not sure. Hooper took the dildo and launched it at her like a missile, which might have been a metaphor for CAIR's response to Progressive Muslim feminists. And then Hooper took his Saudi Arabian flag, attempted to staple it to my bare arm and proceeded to wrap it around my neck. Now if that's not a metaphor for something, then those chair shots to the head have really dimmed my analytical skills.

Who is Michael Muhammad Knight?
Knight is criticized for his participation in woman-led prayer, provocative articles, disrespectful attitude toward leaders of the American Muslim community, open admission of past apostasy, heretical attitudes, embrace of movements such as the Nation of Islam and Nation of Gods and Earths and often rebellious treatment of the Prophet Muhammad.

Knight developed a reputation for his Muslim WakeUp! articles, particularly accounts of the Islamic Society of North America's annual convention, in which he wrote of giving a "stink palm" to famous imam Siraj Wahhaj and Cat Stevens and engaging in a romantic encounter with a young Muslim woman. Commenting on woman-led prayer at his ProgressiveIslam.Org blog, Knight wrote, "If the Prophet wouldn’t have liked it, then in 2005 the Prophet is wrong, shit on him. La ilaha illa Allah." [10] The comment caused numerous Muslim scholars and thinkers to withdraw from the site, refuse participation or demand that Knight be removed.

At the 2005 convention of the Islamic Society of North America, Knight and the Kominas fraudulently obtained media passes and snuck into the press conference of Karen Hughes, Under Secretary for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs in the U.S. Department of State. They were taken outside and questioned by a State Department agent, but allowed back in by ISNA officials. It was later learned that the ISNA staff was concerned over Knight's jacket bearing the Alternative Tentacles logo. [11]

The fact that Michael Muhammad Knight exists isn't particularly interesting--but the fact that he has a bit of a following is.

Posted by: Ragnar at 09:55 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 460 words, total size 3 kb.

January 08, 2007

Daniela Cicarelli Gets YouTube Blocked in Brazil

Details here:

The popular video sharing site YouTube is now blocked in Brazil due to a local court decision last Thursday. The site was ordered to block the uploaded sex videos of Brazilian media starlet Daniela Cicarelli and, although it complied, many users kept re-uploading it to the site. After the failure of YouTube to keep the video off of the site, the domain was blocked nationwide at a DNS level.
The video of Daniela Cicarelli that got this whole controversy started is here.

Posted by: Ragnar at 02:43 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 89 words, total size 1 kb.

YouTube Video : The Katy Pig Races

Video of the pigs racing is below the fold. It's actually entertaining. more...

Posted by: Ragnar at 01:09 AM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
Post contains 19 words, total size 1 kb.

January 07, 2007

YouTube Video : Box in a Box

If you don't get the reference, it's a response to this video (below the fold--audio NSFW): more...

Posted by: Ragnar at 01:01 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 23 words, total size 1 kb.

You Say Jamail, I Say Jamil

Eh, at least it's correction from the AP:

In a Jan. 3 story about the death of former Jerusalem Mayor Teddy Kollek, The Associated Press misidentified a singer who appeared in a concert in Jerusalem to mark
Israel's 30th Independence Day. The singer was Leontyne Price, not Lena Horne.

Lena Horne.

Leontyne Price.

I dunno about you, but I think it's easy to see how the AP could get those names confused.

Ayup, AP is the source of news I trust the most.
- - - - -
UPDATE (Good Lt.): Hey, now. Kathy Carrol indicates that their coverage is perfect.

For some reason, though, we're just not satisfied...

Posted by: Vinnie at 12:08 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 115 words, total size 1 kb.

January 05, 2007

Real Life Video Games

The wonders never cease.

Like Final Fantasy? Here's the utterly brilliant College Saga (Part II, Part III, Part IV).

How about Grand Theft Auto? -->

ht: Ace more...

Posted by: Good Lt. at 12:21 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 31 words, total size 1 kb.

<< Page 8 >>
197kb generated in CPU 0.1526, elapsed 0.1945 seconds.
55 queries taking 0.1179 seconds, 423 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.