February 23, 2005
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February 22, 2005
If you would like C-3PO to comment on one of your blog posts, just send a trackback or e-mail me.
C-3PO comments on images found on Paris Hilton's hacked Sidekick: "Oh my!"
On Jeff Ganon/James Guckert's plans to sue Media Matters: "R-2 says the chances of winning are seven-hundred and twenty-five to one."
On Bill Burkett plans to sue CBS News for publishing his phony memo:""Sometimes I just don't understand human behavior."
On the USA Next advertisement: "Good heavens, gay you say?"
On former Kerry advisers working for the UN and making anti-Fox News ads:"I believe they think I'm some sort of god."
On Taliban giving up in Afghanistan:""Wait a minute! Where are you going!"
On the British Navy recruiting the gays:"Are they in need of a protocol robot?"
On Congressman Hinchey's retreat from reality: "Oh switch off!"
On Elizabeth Hurley in new Harry Potter movie: "Fabulous."
On Japan considering outlawing knives: ""Are you sure this thing is safe?"
On ex-Turkish PM on trial for fraud and corruption: "I believe it's some sort of Jawa dialect, sir."
On Simon's Asian blog roundup: "I am programmed in over 6 million languages, sir."
On the New Blog showcase:"We have found the computer outlet sir."
On the Llama Butchers:"The above photo-shop is designed primarily for Steve's screensaver? I'm not telling him that."
Update: On the Earthquake in Iran: "It's against my programming to impersonate a deity."
Update II: On efforts to remove life support from Terry Schiavo:"See above."
On Ward Churchill getting tenure by mistake:"I'm sorry, sir, my irony circuits seem to be on overload."
Update III: On the Editor's engagement to be married:"I say, good show."
On Hawaii outlawing the consumption of dog and cat meat:"Oh no the Rancor!"
Update IV: On Bush efforts to reforge old alliances: "Do take good care of yourself."
On President's day:"R2d2 You know better than to talk to a strange computer."
On Democratic Underground Hunter S. Thompson conspiracy theories:"Good heavens, no!"
UPDATE 2/23: On Michael Schiavo's attempts to kill his wife Terry: Click to here
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February 19, 2005
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February 11, 2005
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February 09, 2005
Today's subject of study is the cellarius matera, or "the one who dwells in mother's basement".
Four distinct features distinguish cellarius matera from other scrota albeo:
a) Rearing time. Unlike other scrota albeo, who are thrown out of the nest some time between their 14th and 17th birthday, cellarius matera needs an additional 20-30 years before it leaves it's close family unit.
b) Social structure: Unlike other scrota albeo, cellarius matera leads a solitary life. Don't go looking for cellarius matera at the annual NASCAR migration.
c) Mating habits: Unlike other scrota albeo, cellarius matera does not mate until its thirty-fifth year and never with its cousin. Mating is such a rare occurence that some have speculated that cellarius matera dies after its first mating but no evidence exists of this phenomenon.
d) Sex ratios: For every 20 male cellarius matera there is only one female. This might explain their strange mating habits.
Recently I was on a stakeout when I was able to snap a shot of this fine specimen. Notice how the cellarius matera camaflouges itself to look like the much more common nerdicus physiologia? But there is no camaflouging this speciman. This one is definitely from Jesus Land!
Hat tip: Professor Chaos. Related. For more Trashology visit the other bloggers celebrating White Trash Wednesday!
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North Korea (news - web sites)'s embassy in Prague has demanded that the film "Team America: World Police" be banned in the Czech Republic, saying the movie harms their country's reputation, a report said Saturday.North Korea has an ambassador to the Czech Republic? Man, I bet he's so ronery. The Czechs, for their part, told the NK ambassador to go jump in a shark tank.
More from North Korea Zone and The Marmot
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February 07, 2005
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February 04, 2005
More from Kevin McCullough
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January 18, 2005
You might remember Hosting Anime from such memorable websites as Tawhid and Jihad Beheads Paul Johnson and Tawhid and Jihad II: Kim Sun-Il.
Good riddance. (hat tip: Terrorist Media)
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January 13, 2005
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January 12, 2005
In light of all the controversy surrounding an invitation to Kid Rock to perform at the Bush innagural, I thought I'd throw in my own two cents. Might I suggest Faith + 1? First off, let me distance myself from all those South Park conservative-" types who are ridiculing the protesters. And to all you potty mouths who are pooh-poohing all of us real conservatives, well let me just tell you that there's no room in the big tent for your ilk. What did you think the big tent metaphor was about? We we're talking about a revival tent, morons not a tent of ill repute.
Does any other band represent the second Bush era better than Faith + 1? With such inspiring songs as "I've been thinkin bout you, Jesus", "The body of Christ", "I can't live without you, Jesus", and "Don't you ever leave me, Jesus" there's something in their songs for every one. And family friendly? You better believe Faith + 1 is family friendly! I mean, what could be more family friendly than an interracial Christan rock boy band??!!??!!
Members of Faith + 1 from left to right: Leopold Stotch, Eric Cartman, and Token
Shamelessly linked at the Traffic Jam....because WWJD?
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January 08, 2005
You don't go to France and ask for California wine. You don't travel to China and remove a piece of the Great Wall. You don't go to Greece and tell every single Greek Alexander was gay. Never go to the cape South Africa and swim with blood-stained clothes in the ocean.
These sound like common sense to me. You risk offending the natives, being arrested and dying. When you travel, you just have to realize you are going to a different culture with possibly a different set of rules to abide by than your own.
Well, this guy just doesn't understand.
A BACKPACKER, believed to be from Queensland, is in a police lockup in a remote area of Argentina, facing a possible jail term for allegedly desecrating the country's flag.The incident allegedly happened at a wine bar in Ushuaia, a town on the South American nation's southern tip that is a base for tourists travelling to Antarctica.
The 28-year-old Australian, a British man and a South African are in police custody.
Witnesses said the tourists were drunk when they saw the flag hanging outside the bar, opened a window to tear it down and then left and trampled it outside before throwing it in a bin.
Other tourists called police who arrested the trio.
So a tourist gets drunk at a bar, fair enough, but then proceeds to take down the Argentina flag and stomp on it? First off, what is his vendetta with Argentina? Did he think the Madonna movie was good only to find out many people cried for Argentina? Secondly, does he not have an ounce of intelligence in his booze-infested brain to realize people might take offense to a tourist trampling on their flag?
What a moron. I don't agree that he should be in jail if it is for desecrating the flag, if it's for disorderly conduct or moronic behavior, then he deserves to be there.
Cross-posted at In the Bullpen
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DAMASCUS, Syria - Former Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry met Saturday with Syria's president and said he was hopeful that strained U.S.-Syrian relations could be improved, provided Washington seized "a moment of opportunity" currently available in the Middle East.- AP
Well, it's not as if John Kerry hasn't met with the enemy before and advocated the enemy's position to the White House. Let's hope this time the President of the United States was aware of the meeting though.
Cross-posted at In the Bullpen
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January 07, 2005
"Some of our forefathers said that if there is usury and fornication in a certain village, Allah permits its destruction. We know that at these resorts, which unfortunately exist in Islamic and other countries in South Asia, and especially at Christmas, fornication and sexual perversion of all kinds are rampant. The fact that it happened at this particular time is a sign from Allah. It happened at Christmas, when fornicators and corrupt people from all over the world come to commit fornication and sexual perversion. That's when this tragedy took place, striking them all and destroyed everything. It turned the land into wasteland, where only the cries of the ravens are heard. I say this is a great sign and punishment on which Muslims should reflect.- MEMRI
The earthquake which in turn caused the tsunami that killed thousands was Allah's revenge for people fornicating on Christmas. I thought it was due to some eco-weapons created by the U.S., India and Israel? I guess not.
If the zionists didn't consider some of the areas effected tourist regions, Allah might have spared their lives becuase it was the zionists who were doing the fornicating. Stupid Christians and Jews.
Cross-posted at In the Bullpen
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January 06, 2005
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The earthquake that struck the Indian Ocean on December 26, triggering a series of huge waves called tsunami, "was possibly" caused by an Indian nuclear experiment in which "Israeli and American nuclear experts participated," an Egyptian weekly magazine reported Thursday.According to Al-Osboa', India, in its heated nuclear race with Pakistan, has lately received sophisticated nuclear know-how from the United States and Israel, both of which "showed readiness to cooperate with India in experiments to exterminate humankind."
I seriously pity those people who come up with wild conspiracy theories on a natural disaster. While those detractors of the United States often blame our capitalism as the primary cause for our "heresey," they don't seem to understand that in a capitalistic society busineses need people to buy their products. Why then would the United States, a capitalist nation, want to exterminate humankind?
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January 05, 2005
JERUSALEM - A group calling itself "The Free People of the Galilee" claimed Wednesday that it abducted an Israeli-American woman in 2003 and demanded that Israel release 1,000 Palestinian prisoners in exchange for information about her fate.The group, through a leaflet and a militant spokesman, said it kidnapped U.S.-born Dana Bennet, who was 18 at the time of her disappearance in the summer of 2003.
The leaflet, sent to The Associated Press, contained no proof that the group was involved in the kidnapping or knew anything about Bennet's whereabouts. The group is not previously known.
A top Arab militant said on condition of anonymity in a telephone call that Bennet was abducted in 2003. He reiterated the demand made in the leaflet that Israel release 1,000 Palestinian prisoners in exchange for information about her fate.
When I read this article, I immediatly though of the movie The Vanishing. "Drink this and you shall know."
On a more serious note however, this is just an odd story for a group to approach the AP around two years later wanting a release of prisoners for information about someone's fate. The Israeli woman is already dead, though the group wants to use her "death story" as a bargaining chip. The Israelis haven't given in for live people, what makes this group think they would trade 1,000 prisoners for a story on how someone died?
Cross-posted at In the Bullpen
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January 04, 2005
I must admit, I did watch some of the show because I found the first half of the Sugar Bowl boring. I couldn't believe where they found these people though. One of the rarities in my life is that I've actually dated five different women who were adopted. I know, I know, most guys never even date one. While I always wondered if they wanted to meet their real fathers, only one of those women actually cared who her biological parents were.
Then there are, I guess, women like the one who appeared on the show who cried at the thought she might meet her father. Instead of wanting a genuine meeting, she chose to go on a reality television program and make a fool out of herself, weeping the entire time and making the show look completley fake and melodramatic.
Anywho, go read this post for a good laugh.
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January 02, 2005
"It was a unique scheme," Annan told ABC's "This Week." "Yes, there may have been some corruption. There may have been some mismanagement. But the program achieved its results."
If you think of it from Annan's perspective, the UN oil-for-food program was successful. His son got rich, the UN didn't have to act against a dictator who defied a UN resolution, some member nations got rich, a couple of the UN Security Council nations were bribed so they would vote to keep Saddam in power, etc. Unfortunately for every other nation and person who didn't recieve the benefits of the program, including the Iraqi people, it was a complete failure and will be the undoing of the justification of the United Nations.
For more memorable Quotes of the Day, go here.
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Cross-posted at In the Bullpen
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December 29, 2004
Oh and by the way, while people died from tsunamis, Bush has done nothing which is why someone wants to impeach Bush. My only question is what is Bush supposed to do? He has a cabinet and the cabinet members are the ones handling aid.
Cross-posted at In the Bullpen
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This is the strange thing about it though. They didn't take anything! Not as if I had anything valuable in my car, but they could have taken something. I had an ice scrapper, Maglite, jumper cables, two truck tie-downs and three of my favorite hats in arms reach. Does the person who broke the window not like anything of mine? If they don't, then that's the ultimate put-down.
They risk getting caught and getting thrown in jail for vandalism (five other cars in my neighborhood last night alone), make me clean up tiny pieces of glass in which I cut my hands a few times, lose whatever object they threw at the car and they don't even bother to take anything to reward them of their quest? What kind of sick, young f&*@ does stuff like this?
Life is about risks and rewards. The person took the risk of getting caught and thrown into the city pound-me-in-the -___ prison, he should have at least taken a reward. My Chicago Cubs hat might look good on him. It's practically brand new.
So, anywho, blogging will be light today while I try to replace my back window and make sure they are connecting the defroster correctly, and the rear windshield wiper, and handle to open it, and the shocks to lift the window and the neon lighted sign that reads "Too Legit." It's a shame. Now I have to buy a new Texas Tech University sticker too. Maybe I'll get one of those silver car ornaments instead?
Cross-posted at In the Bullpen
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December 28, 2004
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Washington, DC, Dec. 28 (UPI) -- A U.S. traffic safety group says teenage drivers are often incapable of driving sport utility vehicles safely, the Washington Post reported Tuesday.The National Highway Safety Administration said that 49 people aged 15 to 20 died in SUV and pickup truck accidents in Maryland, Virginia and the District of Columbia last year.
The group says SUVs have a higher center of gravity and are harder to control in an emergency, which makes inexperienced drivers more likely than others to end up as statistics.
I can think of another large demographic that cannot control SUVs too. I'll let me readers infer as to which I mean.
Cross-posted at In the Bullpen
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