October 26, 2006

Muhammad Cartoon Case Dismissed

MOHAMMEDCHICS2.jpgFinally, strike a blow for freedom.

Times Online: A Danish court has thrown out a defamation case against the newspaper that first published controversial cartoons of the prophet Muhammad.
The City Court in Aarhus today rejected a lawsuit brought by seven Danish Muslim groups claiming that the 12 drawings printed in Jyllands-Posten were intended to insult the prophet and make a mockery of Islam.

While the cartoons may have offended some Muslims, there was no basis for claiming that the newspaper sought to belittle their faith, the court said.

Carsten Juste, Jyllands-Posten’s editor-in-chief, hailed the decision as a victory for free speech. "Anything but a pure acquittal would have been a disaster for press freedom and the media's possibility to fulfill it’s duties in a democratic society," he said.

The Muslim groups behind the lawsuit said they would appeal.

So to use Michelle’s term "the religion of perpetual outrage" will continue to whine about the cartoons. The truth does hurt but rather than face the issues that inspired the cartoons they seek to suppress that which hurts their pride: The truth.

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October 25, 2006

al-Qaeda Orientation

Hat Tip: Herroyalwhyness.

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October 20, 2006

Fatwa Issued Against...

howiebeheadinsult.jpg...The Daily Star for being a bunch of pussies.

News Independent UK:A staff revolt at the Daily Star prevented publication of a spoof Islamic version of the paper called the "Daily Fatwa".

Muslim commentators said yesterday that the newspaper's attempt on Monday evening to mock Sharia law could have sparked international protests similar to those that followed publication by a Danish newspaper of cartoons of the prophet Muhammad.

The mock-up "Daily Fatwa", which promised a "Page 3 Burkha Babes Special" and competitions to "Burn a Flag and Win a Corsa" and "Win hooks just like Hamza's", was prepared to run as page 6 in Wednesday's edition of the Daily Star, one of the stable of newspapers owned by publisher Richard Desmond.

The page also included a spoof leader column under the headline "Allah is Great" but left blank save for a stamp with the word "Censored".

But shortly before the Star was due to go to press on Tuesday evening, concerned members of the National of Journalists (NUJ) called an emergency meeting in the 9th floor canteen of Desmond's Northern & Shell building beside the River Thames.

After 25 minutes, the NUJ chapel passed a motion saying that the article was "deliberately offensive" to Muslims.

The motion read: "The chapel fears that this editorial content poses a very serious risk of violent and dangerous reprisals from religious fanatics who may take offence at these articles. This may place the staff in great jeopardy. This chapel urges the management to remove the content immediately."

Given that most people like their heads attatched to their body it is understandable. A mistake though, no community should be above being made fun of due to threats of violence. Note the recent cartoon contests in Iran as an example of Muslim hypocrisy on this issue.

Ht Tip : LGF Who adds a link to National Union of Chickenshits’ website.

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October 15, 2006

Put Another Log On The Fire

My latest salvo in the anti-jihad YouTube crusade.

I'm going to just link the vids I do, because I'm too damned lazy to re-size them to fit the page here.

Lyrics below the fold. more...

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October 11, 2006

Shake Your Moviemaker

Ragnar is right, there is an online war being conducted.

Getting jihad videos pulled is entertaining, but making your own is way more fun.


Here's my latest counter-propaganda effort. Mostly safe for work.

I rather like that one, I don't want it pulled. Which means it probably will be.

If you like it, I hope you link rather than embed, but, beggars can't be choosers.

If you don't like it, well, I guess you just haven't had your lithium yet.

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Cube Worshippers Offended By Cube

20061010AppleMecca-s.jpgThey claim they don’t worship Idols. But replicate their cube and they get all hissy about it.

Mermi:On October 10, 2006, an Islamic website posted a message alerting Muslims to what it claims is a new insult to Islam. According to the message, the cube-shaped building which is being constructed in New York City, on Fifth Avenue between 58th and 59th Streets in midtown Manhattan, is clearly meant to provoke Muslims. The fact that the building resembles the Ka’ba, is called “Apple Mecca,” is intended to be open 24 hours a day like the Ka’ba, and moreover, contains bars selling alcoholic beverages, constitutes a blatant insult to Islam. The message urges Muslims to spread this alert, in hope that “Muslims will be able to stop the project.”
More here from The Register:
Well, it resembles the Muslims' sacred Ka'ba, situated in the Masjid al-Haram mosque in Mecca:

The "Islamic website" claims that since the offending structure is known as the "Apple Mecca", and "contains bars selling alcoholic beverages", it constitutes "a blatant insult to Islam". The site accordingly calls on Muslims to spread the word in the hope that "Muslims will be able to stop the project".

Hat tip : LGF.

The Apple Cube they find offensive.

AppleCube5thAve.jpg

The actual cube in the center of Mecca that they bow toward.

kaba.jpg

Update: There is no Cube, but Cube...... more...

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Muhammad Loves Mambo

And James Brown too.

Come on Muslim Brothers, Get up offa that thing.

Hat Tip: Mark. more...

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October 05, 2006

Take Yer Jihad And Shove It!

The fellow who took over leadership of Al Qaeda in Iraq from Z-man recently issued an offer of "amnesty" to the Sunnis in Anbar, who just haven't been very nice to him. Said "traitors" had until the end of Ramadan to respond to this magnanimous offer/threat, but they decided to waive the time, and respond right away. Mudville Gazette has the full story, but the following Iraqi Shaykh became downright abusive with his irony:

Asked about his response to Al-Muhajir's statement about giving a pardon to the chieftains of Iraq, he [Shaykh Abd al-Sattar Abu-Rishah] says: "I do not know what kind of authority he enjoys. Is he a prophet? Did he receive a messenger from God to give us a pardon? Are we criminals like him? Are we killers like him to be given a pardon? Or did we ask him for pardon? On the contrary, he should ask us for pardon, because he killed Iraqis, Sunnis and Shi'is. Who is he? He is only an inferior criminal. We should not grant him a pardon."

And there's also this, from another Shaykh:

Abu Hamza al-Muhajir, who stole chickens in 1980, is now issuing pardons for chieftains? Who is he to pardon the Chieftains of Iraq?

Oh woe is us; what are we to do? All is lost. Another Vietnam, fershure.

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October 01, 2006

Muhammad Bobbleheads Brought to You by...

Howiedashmuhammad.jpgThe Jawa Report. Not really, but we wish.

NY Daily News: A ceramic bobblehead doll of the Prophet Muhammed - created to resemble the infamous caricature published by a Danish newspaper - is being hawked online for $22.99 a pop by an ex-Marine.

The unapologetic creator, Timothy Ames, 28, said the bobblehead is similar to "dashboard Jesus" figurines that can be stuck with adhesive to flat surfaces. "I thought, 'If they flipped out over some cartoons what will they do with a dashboard Muhammed?'" Ames said from his home in Hawaii.

But Islamic experts are not amused, saying the bobbleheads could anger Muslims, whose religion strictly prohibits depictions of the prophet.

"No depiction of the prophet, even if it is positive, should be made ever - and certainly not one as ridiculous as the bobblehead Muhammed," said Zvi Ben-Dor Benite, an assistant professor at New York University. "I don't think it's about freedom of speech. This is the freedom to insult, which he shouldn't be doing."

Get yer bobblehead Muhammads here!!!!! Just in time for this Christmas Season! The perfect gift for the infidel in your life!

Yes we here at the Jawa are happy to help out. I hope he gets rich. Fatwa?

Via Malkin.

Hat Tip: Larwyn.

Related sort of. Rusty really wants to call attention to this:

I think this article is huge. It reveals the mindset of the Danish Islamist "cleric" who helped stir the ruckus over the cartoons of Mohammed. Please take a look at this article from the Guardian.

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September 30, 2006

Jawa Report Insomniac Comedy Theater

Stein host: All the Sandcrawler members who sent this in. We heart you.

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September 19, 2006

P-Shop My Pope, Will You?

Ooooh, I'm so offended. I may yawn and scratch my balls after seeing that one.

That is, if I'm not busy drinking beer, eating pork products, and letting my wife out of the house by herself.

Well, hell, let's start this religious war right here and now.

I mean, lets rekindle.

No, that's not right either.

Okay, I'll just fire off my own sucky photoshop in response.

allahmet.jpg

Please note, Allah is not my God. Al' lah was the name of the pagan Arab's moon god. Which Mohammed appropriated in his efforts to gain converts before he had the military strength to kill them if they didn't convert to Islam.

Therefore, any attempts to claim that I'm blaspheming God with this crappy p-shop is rendered moot.

At any rate, I think it's ridiculous that I have to offer up these thoughts. Since God can see into my heart, I think He knows that I'm not visualizing Him this way.

Just Allah and Mohammed. The former a fictional character, the latter with a current address in Hell.

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September 18, 2006

Cube Worshippers Declare Jihad Against Christians

MOHAMMEDCHICS.jpgTwo Islamic Militant Groups The Mujahdeen Shura Council and , Ansar al-Sunnah have declared open war on Christians. First they insult Christians by describing them as, “cross worshippers.” This is an accusation of idolatry.

Times Online UK:Today an internet statement by the Mujahideen Shura Council, an umbrella group led by Iraq’s branch of al Qaeda, threatened reprisals against "worshippers of the cross" for the Pope's remarks.

"We shall break the cross and spill the wine. ... (you will have no choice but) Islam or death," said the statement, citing a hadith (saying of the Prophet Mohammed) promising Muslims that they would "conquer Rome... as they conquered Constantinople".

"We tell the worshipper of the cross (the Pope) that you and the West will be defeated, as is the case in Iraq, Afghanistan, Chechnya. God enable us to slit their throats, and make their money and descendants the bounty of the Mujahideen."

As usual with such statements, the authenticity could not be verified. It was posted on an internet site often used by al-Qaeda and other militant groups. It continued: "The Pope in the Vatican turns in the orbit of Bush. His remarks form part of the mobilisation for a crusade announced by Bush, to raise the morale of the crusader armies."

Two other armed groups in Iraq, Jaish al-Mujahedeen (the Mujahedeen’s Army) and Asaeb al-Iraq al-Jihadiya (League of Jihadists in Iraq), have already threatened the Vatican with reprisals in statements posted on Islamist internet websites.

Another militant group in Iraq, Ansar al-Sunnah, today also vowed to fight Christians in retaliation.

"You will only see our swords until you go back to God’s true faith Islam," it said in a separate statement, which called the Pope "Satan’s hellhound in the Vatican", saying he was "proud today of his hatred towards Muslims".

"The day is coming when the armies of Islam will destroy the ramparts of Rome," it added in the statement addressed to "Crusaders".

I’ll ignore the insult, calling me a cross worshipper. I mean what weight can that have coming from a bunch of guys who bow to a giant cube five times a day?

Islamic rulers in the past have forced Jews to wear small cows around their neck to remind them of the Golden Calf episode from the Old Testament. However it appears they did not learn the lesson very well as they are still bowing to a giant cube in the center of Mecca. It’s not that shape of the idol that matters.

I'm also offended by the claim I read the other day that if Jesus returned tomorrow he would be a Muslim. I can think of nothing more Anti-Christ than Muhammad's teachings. I find it an insult to Jesus.

Of course the followers of the religion of peace do have one solution to my faith. Kill me. more...

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September 16, 2006

Pope Offers Non-Apology, Muslims Seethe, Whine, Kill

Reason number 2,084 to respect Pope Benedict XVI:

In a speech Tuesday, Pope Benedict quoted Byzantine emperor Manuel II:

Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.
And true to form, adherents of the Religion of Peaceâ„¢ around the world reacted with veiled threats that they may respond with violence. How predictable can they be?

Demands that the Pope apologize followed, and I was dismayed at this morning's headlines that suggested that the Pope capitulated. But read these stories closely, as they all essentially report the same thing:

Pope Benedict XVI "sincerely regrets that certain passages of his address could have sounded offensive to the sensitivities of the Muslim faithful ..."
Note that the Pontiff did not recant any of his words, he merely is sorry that Muslims are offended at their truth. Also note that none of these hysterically angry Muslims even bother to deny Benedict's remarks -- they simply say that they insult Islam, not that their meaning is inaccurate.

Given Pope John Paul II's propensity to chastise America over any use of its power while saying nothing to the totalitarian leaders of the East (and later Middle East), Benedict's remarks and his apparent resolve are quite refreshing.

SHOCKING UPDATE:

AP: Five Churches Attacked

Palestinians wielding guns and firebombs attacked five churches in the West Bank and Gaza on Saturday, following remarks by Pope Benedict that angered many Muslims.
Used without permission from Professor Chaos who posted it here, but who had originally offered to write it for the Jawa but then didn't. Which sort of pissed me off because how does my linking his story help me get any crazy blog money? He sort of gave me permission to post it here, but with the caveat that I change the word pope every time it appeared to porn. Which I didn't, because we don't need any more trolls looking for "pope porn" around here.

In any event when The Jawa Report had just two readers, Chaos was one of them--only he went by the name Leopold Stotch back then I think. The other one was Bill Dauterieve who recently became a Jawa author. But not Stotch. Noooo, Stotch thinks he's too good for that.

I got news for you Stotch, you're right down here in the sewer with the rest of us. If you won't write for us, then we'll just steal your schtick and post it.

You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

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August 31, 2006

Miss England Gets A Free Makeover

missukmo.jpg

The beauty outside can't hide the ugly inside.

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August 28, 2006

I renounce Islam

After having given my conversion to submit to Allah serious thought, I now renounce Islam. Yeah, they've got that whole 72 virgins thing going for them, and they also get to blow shit up--which are both cool--but I also have this little aversion to stoning whores to death. I'm more the live and let live kind of guy. Especially when it comes to whores.

So, even if there is no God but God, Mohammed was definitely not a prophet. IMHO.

Oh, and there's the pork thing. Mmmm, pork.

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July 16, 2006

More Blasphemy

In honor of the DDOS scum...

From the Koran: "Why don't they contemplate upon the Qur'an. Had it been originated from anyone besides Allah Ta'ala then it would have been beset with inconsistencies and contradictions" (S 4 V 82)

If the Koran was not the literal word of Allah, it would be inconsistent and contradictory. Google lists 278,000 pages if you search for "Koran contradictions". I've got examples:

Who Was the First Muslim? Muhammad [6:14, 163], Moses [7:143], some Egyptians [26:51], or Abraham [2:127-133, 3:67] or Adam, the first man who also received inspiration from Allah [2:37]?

Heavens or Earth? Which was created first? First earth and then heaven [2:29], heaven and after that earth [79:27-30].

More short ones here.

Allah thinks Mary was part of the Holy Trinity in place of the The Holy Ghost: The Father, Son and Mary. Allah also doesn't understand the order and family lines of the Old Testament prophets. Allah is either not omniscient or the Koran was written by semi-literate desert nomad who claimed to be inspired by Allah.

Go take a look and see if you can find your own favorite Koran contradictions.

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July 10, 2006

Blasphemy of the Day

For your edification, here is your satanic verse of the day, which is attributed to Mohammed:

SatanicVerse.JPG

"These [Allāt, al-'Uzzā and Manāt] are the exalted high-flying ones, whose intercession is hoped for."

Why has this "satanic" verse caused so much trouble? Historians of Mohammad's life document the story of Mohammed's attempts to woo the Quraysh to Islam. Many of the Quraysh worshipped the goddesses Allāt, al-'Uzzā and Manāt, and turning to the moon god Allah required--according to Mohammed--rejecting the goddesses of their ancestors. This fact had originally precluded the Quraysh from accepting Islam. They were not opposed to worshipping Allah so much as they were opposed to rejecting their traditional goddesses.

The conflicts between the non-Muslim Quraysh and the Muslims had been quite a serious headache for Mohammed. Mohammed was pressuring the Quraysh to convert to Islam, but the non-Muslim Quraysh were unwilling to abandon their own religious traditionals. According to the historians, this impasse was broken when Mohammed publicly uttered the above verse, thereby endorsing the idea that Allāt, al-'Uzzā, Manāt were accepted as goddesses under Islam. In other words, this shift allowed the non-Muslim Quraysh to join Islam and still retain their worship of their traditional goddesses.

Sometime later (several years by some estimates), after the Quryash had largely converted to this polytheistic Islam, Mohammed received a new revelation that Allāt, al-'Uzzā, Manāt were not, in fact, goddesses. Mohammed explained that he had merely been tricked by Satan. Accordingly, the Quraysh could no longer worship the three goddesses and continue to be Muslims.

Historians do not agree on why it took Allah several years to correct his prophet. Some conjecture that the memo from Allah to Gabriel addressing the fiasco was misaddressed and ended up lost in a bureaucratic limbo. Others conjecture that a first memo was properly addressed, but conveniently "lost" by a loyalist for the three goddesses.

Whatever the reason, Allah be praised that the mistake was eventually corrected.

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July 05, 2006

Tonight's Insult The Prophet Post

Picture 393.jpg

Hey, it's not like I'm desecrating the holly quoran or anything.

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June 29, 2006

Well It's a Dog Eat Dog

Eat cat too
Fish eat frog
And I eat....

filthyporkprophet.jpg

Hat Tip Filthy Allah.

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June 19, 2006

Well It's A Dog Eat Dog

Eat cat too
Fish eat frog
And I eat....

Hat Tip Filthy Allah.

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June 07, 2006

Rusty's Fatwa Coming Soon?

Over the past week we've been inundated with traffic from Turkish language websites leading to our tongue-in-cheek "Karnival of the Koran Krappings", which was our little tribute to the religionists-of-peace going ape shit over a phony story about a Koran being tossed into a toilet by a human-rights-abusing guard at Guantanamo Bay.

Am I finally going to get that fatwa? Stay tuned.

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May 31, 2006

'Moderate' Muslim Country Jails Two for Publishing Mohammed Cartoons

Two editors of a Jordanian newspaper have been sentenced to jail for publishing cartoons depicting Mohammed, the man Muslims claim was a "Prophet".

Remember, Jordan is held up as a model moderate Islamic country. In fact, Jordan is moderate....but isn't it sad that this is what passes for moderate in the Islamic world? Nowhere in the Islamic world is there anything that passes for freedom of speech. Nowhere.

Khaleej Times:

A Jordanian court Tuesday sentenced to prison two newspaper editors for “attacking religious sentiment” by reprinting cartoons deemed offensive to Prophet Mohammad (PBUH), their lawyer said.

Jihad Momani, former editor of the weekly Shihane tabloid, and Hisham Al Khalidi, editor-in-chief of the tabloid Al Mehwar, “were each sentenced to two months in prison,” attorney Mohammed Kteishat told AFP.

Reporters Without Borders had this tepid reaction:
Reporters Without Borders protested today against two-month jail sentences imposed yesterday by a Jordanian court on two journalists, Jihad Momani and Hisham Al-Khalidi, for reprinting cartoons of the prophet Mohammed that appeared in a Danish paper last year and expressed concern about journalists being harshly punished for doing so.

“This is the first time journalists have been given prison sentences for reproducing the cartoons,” the worldwide press freedom organisation said. “The sentences are totally out of proportion. We hope they will be reduced on appeal. We urge other Muslim countries where journalists are being prosecuted for this not to follow Jordan’s example. Journalists must not be punished for their editorial decisions. The two journalists in this case were simply doing their job by choosing to reproduce the cartoons, like dozens of other media outlets around the world.” [emphasis mine]

Hopefully, this is just a translation error. Does the group wish their sentences to be reduced or overturned?

If the former, then Reporters Without Borders is agreeing to the notion that states have the right to censor that which offends our religious sensibilities--just not harshly. Perhaps a one-week sentence would seem appropriate?

If the latter, then I fully agree. Freedom of religion must include the right to criticize religion--even if that criticism is deemed offensive. If I do not have the right to criticize your religion, then I am not fully free.

In my opinion, Muhammed was a pedophile and a pervert. Worse, he started a religion which rejects the concept of separating church and state and which--from it's founding--condoned the use of military conquest for spreading faith. Next to Communism, political Islam has contributed to more deaths than any other ideology in history---perhaps even more.

Please indict me. I dare you.

Unfortunately, there is not a single Muslim country where I am fully free to say the above.

Hat tip to Robert Spencer who has more.

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April 17, 2006

Hold On To Your Noggin.

Via Michelle Malkin we get this cool new Italian political cartoon.

Translation to English.

"Isn't that man there, split in two from head to navel, Mohammed?" Dante asks Virgil.

"Yes and he is cut in two because he has divided society," Virgil replies. "While that woman there, with the burning coals, represents the politics of Italy towards Islam

Cartoon Inspired by:

Fatwa Anyone? more...

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April 08, 2006

NASCAR Fatwa?

If NASCAR gets a fatwa before me, I swear I'll sue!

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April 01, 2006

Jawa Issues Fatwa

As most readers know, your Sith Master recently entertained the prospect of a new job. Imagine the thrill of interviewing for a more challenging and rewarding position only to be let down by being rejected. Denied with a simple, "We're sorry. We've chosen someone else." Okay, fine. Brush it off. Life has its ups and downs and there'll be other opportunities.

But today, guess what? Back channel scuttlebutt has it that your blogging mainstay and candidate was rejected for an academic position because he is a conservative. In fact, the rumor is that The Jawa Report was specifically mentioned as an indicator of your Sith Master's lack of appropriate liberal credentials. Realizing The Jawa Report reflects conservatism and conservatism in academia is tantamount to having the Eboli virus, there was no chance from the get go.

Blogging anonymously provided no protection because someone leaked to the university administration the information about your Sith Master and The Jawa Report. The administration recoiled and totally disregarded such things as qualifications and capabilities. Being a conservative is a deal-breaker in academia.

Therefore, The Jawa Report officially issues a fatwa declaring a war of words against the leaker who is also a blogger. People are already investigating. A field of suspects is being narrowed and you will be found soon. So, declare yourself, you stinking vermin, and let the games begin.

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