1 I nominate myself to go hunting with Dick Cheney. That would be awesome - going hunting with such a bad ass. Even more awesome if Rumsfeld was there too. But getting back to the tone of the post, I'd like to see the United Nations go hunting with Cheney.

2 The doctor has said he was hit with "something less than 100 pellets" At 30 yards I amthinking "improved cylinder choke"

3 Dick Cheney went a-huntin'
'Twas on a Saturday morn
o' Course 'twas against better judgement
But he took his gun along

etc..

4 Rusty that's just funny :-))

5 call me silly, but i just don't find your post entertaining. calling michael moore a fag and other such names for various individuals is destructive. if you really wanted to be productive, maybe try not going for the joke, for what's easy. you have a site. use it for good.

6 "Ooops, I thought you were a wild pig!"

What do you mean 'thought'.

7 ok, SILLY....most of the names were right on, especially the michael moore one. if you cant joke about political 'mishaps' like this, then we have bigger problems then iraq!!

8 As long as waterfowl are off the menu, you could take Insanetor Swimmer. He wouldn't be able to escape so easily this time.

fugedabadit,
Da guy on da grassy knoll

9 The new urban tattooing craze, shotgun pokesmanship.

10 Senator Edward Kennedy accepted an invitation to go hunting with the Vice President. However since the Senator insisted on driving, the invitation has been withdrawn.

11 Thats one of the funniest blog entries I've ever seen. Some blogs are criticising the MSM for their response, especially those hillarious looking journalists in their orange hats, but I reckon you've gotta cut a bit of slack when it comes to comedy.

12 PRESS CORPS MEDIA PIRANHAS, AND DEMOCRATS GO AFTER CHENEY.
________________________________________________________________________
The bloodlust was so thick in the room that you could almost cut it with a knife. White House spokesman Scott Mc Clellan, Spokesman for the White House, was veritably shred to pieces by the Press Corp “piranhas” !

Observers watched aghast as poor Mc Clellan was viciously set upon by the ravenous liberal predators mercilessly, and some of us were even concerned that the poor, besieged man might even loose his marbles, pull a gun out and start shooting at them all while frantically screaming: “ Oh my God! I can’t take it any more, I just can’t!!!”

Had this happened it would have been, of course, a terrible National tragedy, since while they would take Mc Clellan away in a strait-jacket, finding someone to replace him to take such unrelenting, intense abuse would be nearly impossible, putting an end to White House Briefings! On the positive side though, his having “thinned” the ranks of the “piranhas” would have been beneficial to the ecology of Washington!

The sight of the feeding frenzy was horrifying! The “piranhas” were venomously indignant that they were not immediately informed of an accident in which VP Cheney was involved while indulging in a personal recreational activity, on his own personal time, over the weekend. Imagine that!

They claimed the failure as a vivid example of “how the Administration misleads the American people,” and cited a prior incident in which Cheney’s Office failed to notify the press that the VP had suffered a paper-cut while handling some
documents, that required the medical application of a “band-aid.”

The whole hooplah, naturally, is about why on a Saturday afternoon, and early Sunday morning, the whole Nation was not placed in a “State of Alert,” a curfew imposed upon those people planning to go out and enjoy their Saturday night, and Sunday Services were not interrupted the following morning, on account of the Press not having been “immediately informed” that while hunting in Texas VP Cheney had accidentally shot a fellow hunter, Harry Whittington, a personal friend of Cheney and of the family, whom Cheney accidentally sprayed with bird-shot when Mr. Whittington inadvertently failed to follow safety protocols for hunting. Of course, taking Mr. Whittington to the Hospital and attending to his wounds was secondary, and VP Cheney’s first and foremost priority should have been to have informed the Press, which he failed to do while “feigning” concern for his friend and taking him to the Hospital!!!

Naturally this smacks of “cover-up” and many Democrats are outraged about the incident, and are calling for investigations into the matter by an “Independent Senate Panel Committee,”a “Federal Grand Jury Investigation,” the FBI, the CIA, the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco (some accuse VP Cheney of having been smoking a cigar at the time of the accident) and Firearms, the Department of Game and Wildlife, the Texas Rangers, the Corpus Christi Police Department, Interpol, and the ever-eminent Inspector Clouseau!!!

After the incident Mr. Whittington was taken to Corpus Christi Hospital were he was treated and was out of danger and recuperating in stable condition, and where several Democrats: Senators Kerry, Kennedy, Pelosi, Reid, Durbin, Boxer, Feinstein and others, were alleged to have been seen trying to snuff Mr. Whittington in his bed with a pillow, before Hospital Security ran them off, so that then VP Cheney could appropriately be charged with “manslaughter, and they could once more call to have him “impeached.”

Subsequently, upon reading on the newspapers at breakfast how much the Liberal Press had scandalized and spinned his mistake on following safety protocols while hunting with Cheney to make the VP into nothing short of a murderer, Mr. Whittington was so shocked and horrified, that he suffered a minor heart attack, though fortunately he survived it, and is expected to leave the Hospital within a week, according to Doctors, further Democratic assaults on him notwithstanding!

Upon having failed in the above attempt at snuffing Mr. Whittington in his hospital bed, Democrats proceeded to point out that VP Cheney’s Hunting License wasn’t properly stamped, which they say means that he was “hunting illegally,” and therefore called for his immediate resignation for having violated the Law, again calling for his impeachment for “Negligent Homicide!”

While all this “ruckus” is going on throughout America’s newsrooms and in Washington, polls show that most Americans are rather amused by the incident so much reminiscent of so many jokes, though feeling sorry for Mr. Whittington, and that for the most part they dismiss the “antics” of the Democrats on the Hill and their pet “piranhas” as “politics as usual!”

On the other hand, many Americans feel that since it is not a life-threatening wound, though painful, and most of all “highly embarrassing,” it might be a good thing if in the future VP Cheney, in an effort to “reach across the aisle,” invites some of these Democratic Senators we hear Filibustering on the floor day in and day out at the drop of a pin, in the hopes that some of these Democratic “demagogues” got some bird-shot in their butts; that way they could “nit pick” the pellets out of their arses the way they do with any and all proposals from the Administration no matter how commonsensical or beneficial to the Nation.

Imagine Senator Kennedy screaming, running around the podium on the Floor of the Senate with some bird-shot in his behind! Ah! To finally see him screaming, hurling expletives, and whining with a reason to do so...for once! Precious!!!


Althor

13 Another right wing nut job with a site? Sounds like someone is all dressed up with no where to go. You know why the cowboys in "Brokeback Mountain" went fishing, right? Well, look what happens when a couple of them go hunting...maybe Cheney should take Jeff Gannon next time.

14 Bob, just go back to your beloved at Brokeback.

Althor

15 Can you imagine the Cheney hunting trip if Bush had been along. They both would have shot the 250 pound Quail in the bright orange suit, then tried to skin it. Never hunt with Republicans wearing an orange suit, especially in Texas

16 There is something about the way Mahmoud Ahmandinejad looks that makes me simply want to beat his face into something that looks like a plate of spagetti and meatballs with my bare hands. Save the sniper bullet...give me five minutes alone and some ice packs for after.

17 Oh yeah, and I'd stick that cell phone he is always talking on right up his gimpy ass...sideways.

18 Ahhhh.... another site where morons congolomerate. Like there isn't enough of these already.

It's interesting to see comments like those from JacksHandj0bRevenge... talking shit from behind a keyboard. My bet is that you are no more than 150lbs soaking wet. Pussy.

An Althor,... you're a half-wit. Coulter is funnier than you are, and she isn't funny.

You are like millions of other half-bakes in this country that thrive on the love-hate abusive relationship thrust on you by this adminstration. Kick the wife and kids for me, eh? Pussy.

19 With all the media attention surrounding the Vice President's hunting accident it seems like everyone has an opinion, a theory, a speculation, an observation, or at least a joke.  You would think by now we would have heard it all ...but one voice has been strangely silent in this public debate ...and that brings us to Tonight's Word:  

"MISSING"

We have heard from comedians, shock jocks, network anchors both real AND fake.(Remind me, which is which?)

We've heard from the talking heads, the punditocracy, the man on the street, and assorted conspiracy nuts. (Seriously, which is which?)

We have heard from journalists, correspondents and of course the verbose denizens of the blogosphere (there really is more to journalism than keeping a journal).

But there is one voice that has been strangely silent (Cheney?), a voice that should have chimed in by now (Cheney??), a voice with gravitas (Cheney???), someone who can deliver the truth (Cheney?!?!?)  I'm talking about ... Stephen Colbert.  

He has been missing in action since this story broke.  This isn't just any old story. We're talking about a story that has captured the attention of the world (just like the Olympics, only interesting) yet he is nowhere to be seen (just like Whittington, only safer).

This is serious.  Without Colbert telling us what we need to know, this misadventure could easily become the metaphor by which Cheney's tenure will be remembered. (He tortured the guy before he shot him?) Imagine spending decades in public service only to have your whole career summed up by a momentary lapse in judgment.  How ironic is that? (Not as ironic as Cheney giving Whittington a heart attack).

Now I realize there are some out there who are still treating this like a joke.  To those callous comedians whose hearts are all aflutter with the prospect of easy punchlines I say this:  True comedy is about panning for humor in a river of tragedy. Counting on this for easy laughs is as sporting as a canned hunt. And speaking of hunting, humor has a cardinal rule as well. It's only funny until someone gets hurt (then it's "must see TV").  

Have you even considered the potential impact of Cheney's accident? What happens if he dies? (Bush will become president?)  If this continues to unravel, Cheney's problem could well become a problem for all Republicans (Republican donors: good   Organ donors: distant second).  

And finally what about the children? For better or for worse, our political leaders are still role models. What will young hunters think if Cheney gets to walk away from this? (He's been getting away with murder for years...)   We all saw how Clinton's nuanced definition of "sexual relations" led teenagers across the country to redefine oral sex as "not counting" (God I wish I was back in high school!).  What will happen to all those people who sell T-shirts and bumper stickers that say "Gun control means hitting your target"?

Regardless of your political persuasion (I'm right, you're wrong.) I think we can all agree (No we can't.)   this certainly looks like one time when missing was a good thing.(Ok...but just this once time.)

So while we send our heartfelt prayers to the Whittington family let me send a word of warning to the shameless sycophants who want to pretend there won't be any fallout (look out Iran!) ...Rest assured that dog won't hunt!

I've unilaterally decided I'm filling in for Stephen Colbert .... And that's the word.

20 ASDF,
I am 6'6'', 230 lbs., well-armed, and if you would like to find out first hand just how much I don't like liberal fags like yourself, come to my little corner of the southeast and I'll show you first hand that I am not 150 soaking wet and I don't get my jollies via a keyboard only. I can walk the walk. If you don't like this website, stay the hell off of it. Matter of fact, why don't you go back to your pro-bono job as Ahmandinejad's fluffer you douchebag.

21 I would be honored to be shot by the vice president

22 To JacksHandj0bRevenge...

Well armed? If you're such a tough guy, why do you need weapons? The only people I've ever met that need weapons to backup themselves up are panty-wipes like yourself. Thin, weak, and paranoid to the core.

And what are you going to do if you see me? Shoot me? BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! You *really* are a pussy! I could take you with one hand behind my back and both ankles shackled.

What, didn't mummy or daddy give you enough love? Anyone who resorts to calling someone else a fag obviously has some issues relating to daddy's love.

Let me guess... you drive a pickup with a gun rack, and you drink lite beer.

"Git me the gunn maw, I need to kill some faggots!"

What a fuckin' hick. People like you give the United States a bad name. Get a life, weasel-boy.

23 One more thing to JacksHandj0bRevenge...

At 6'6" 230lbs you are one fat motherf*cker. Lay off the beer and potato chips, get your slovenly ass off the couch, and go run some laps.

If you'd stop with the idle threats from behind a keyboard you might just snap to reality. I don't hold out much hope for you, though, because you just can't fix stupid.

G'night loverboy! ;-*