Live from L.A. Nuclear Dirty Bomb Central

I woke up to find out that Los Angeles has been named as one of three locations for a possible nuclear "dirty bomb" attack. Since we may be attacked at any moment naturally I've decided to rush downtown where such an attack is most likely to occur.

That way if I happen to see Adnan G. El Shukrijumah, at least one person will have the presence of mind to kick him square in the nuts. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and tackle any guy who even remotely looks like Adnan. They say he tries to pass himself off as a Mexican national and that he speaks fluent Spanish. Nobody in downtown L.A.'s busy garment district on a Saturday afternoon could possibly fit that description, right?

The attack against Los Angeles, New York, and Miami are said to be imminent and from a credible source. You know, some jihadi jagging off to beheading videos and posting threats from his parent's basement.

Remember the last time when they threatened to blow up NFL stadiums, and then they detonated an atomic bomb in Colorado......or was it Baltimore? I always get confused over the written account of the attack and what I saw on tee-vee. Anyway, the good news was that although Ben Affleck survived the initial blast, six months later he died of fallout related leukemia. Too bad Alec Baldwin wasn't Jack Ryan on that day.......

Anyway, I'll leave you with the DEBKA report:

The al Qaeda communications accuse the Americans of the grave error of failing to take seriously the videotape released by the American al Qaeda spokesman Adam Gaddahn last week. “They will soon realize their mistake when American cities are hit by quality operations,” said one message.

Another said the attacks would be carried out “by means of trucks loaded with radio-active material against America’s biggest city and financial nerve center.”

A third message mentioned New York, Los Angeles and Miami as targets. It drew the answer: “The attack, with Allah’s help, will cause an economic meltdown, many dead, and a financial crisis on a scale that compels the United States to pull its military forces out of many parts of the world, including Iraq, for lack of any other way of cutting down costs.”

If I don't return to blogging today it's because I'm dead or being debriefed by the CIA. That, or because after I'm done with my shopping downtown (I really am going to the garment district today) I'm heading to my brother's wedding and I plan to be busy partying like it was 1999.

Posted by: Rusty at 01:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 436 words, total size 3 kb.