jawa.mee.nu

July 01, 2007

In Search of Flat Jawa

While stories and legends of Flat Jawa have existed for centuries, no one has ever held any organized scientific expedition in an effort to prove or disprove the existence of Flat Jawa once and for all. That is not until now.

Inspired by this story about an expedition to find Big Foot, Dr. Vince Aut Morire and his assistants have embarked upon an ambitious project to find definitive evidence of Flat Jawa.

The challenges to this endeavor were many and difficult. After repeatedly being turned down for scientific grants, Dr Aut Morire explained that one of the more significant goals of this expedition was to, â€œDetermine the effects of global warming as a threat to the very existence of Flat Jawa.â€

Within minutes donations from Daily Kos readers began pouring in! Weâ€™d like to thank them all for the $27.36 in nickels and pennies. These funds covered almost five gallons of gas, several (3) disposable cameras and a six pack of beer.

Iâ€™m glad to report that those funds have not been wasted. So far our brave expedition leader has captured two images of the elusive Flat Jawa!

In the first image we see Flat Jawa in his natural habitat deep inside the bowels of the sandcrawler.

But what about the science, you say? How does global warming affect Flat Jawa? Weâ€™ll as you can see from this next image, not very much. Flat Jawa left his sandcrawler and is resting, in air conditioned comfort, inside a Motel6 with a cold beer and a flask of unknown contents.

Our conclusion is that, as of the date of this article, Flat Jawa has been able to cope with the increasingly harsh conditions brought on by this catastrophe we call global warming. But more study is required. We must never lose vigilance in these ever changing conditions.

Donations for, â€œIn Search of Flat Jawa Expedition II" can be made here.

Please give all you can. Because science can't wait or would like to at least upgrade to a Courtyard Marriot with a pool.

Posted by: Howie at 01:09 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 344 words, total size 2 kb.

1 You spent good money on frigging LIGHT BEER? I am tearing up the generous check I was going to send you as I type(which ain't easy).

Posted by: 1sttofight at July 01, 2007 02:22 PM (Kh5gw)

2 My own research into the 'flat jawa' crisis has come across evidence which leads to this startling conclusion ... Global Warming is THE CAUSE of the flat Jawa! Evidentally, the rapid loss of the Tatooine glaciers due to planetwide evaporation, has resulted in severe changes in the tatooine enviroment. Exposed to the new, harsh and barren landscape, the Jawa has been forced to evolve 'flatness' as a defense. An exmple of the usefulness of this adaptation has been documented at considerable risk, and may be seen in the following clip ...
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFmwRKwQv_Q
                        Clearly, if the warming of Tatooine was reversed, the 'flat Jawa' would be in danger of losing it's habitat, and could even die out. This forces us to consider some difficult issues.
USA, all the way!

Posted by: Michael Weaver at July 01, 2007 03:48 PM (2OHpj)

3 While I understand and appreciate your quest, you are too late, as I have already spent all of my allowance on a "Sexy Shrillary" blow-up doll.

Posted by: Codekeyguy at July 01, 2007 05:08 PM (+WuRB)

4 Howie Funny.

Posted by: See-Dubya at July 01, 2007 05:18 PM (GEzHL)

5 What happens when a jawa spend too munch time at the canteena gets drunk wanders out into the desert and get run over by a sandcrawler and FLAT JAWA

Posted by: sandpiper at July 02, 2007 11:00 AM (1LUQw)

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