jawa.mee.nu

July 27, 2006

Exclusive: Landis Not French

****Exclusive****Must Cite Jawa Report****

Preliminary tests of Tour de France winner Floyd Landis's blood indicate that he has "illegaly high levels" of testosterone.

In France, any testosterone in the bloodstream is considered abnormal.

Landis, though, denies the charges of using the steroid illegaly claiming only that he is male--and not the pansy metrosexual type in denial, either.

Lance Armstrong's excuse for not showing testosterone in the bloodstream? That whole lost nut thing.

Landis has called the accusation "fighting words." We expect the Tour de France judging committee to surrender any moment.

Developing.......CMUNK, reporting from Paris.

Posted by: Rusty at 08:43 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 99 words, total size 1 kb.

1 George's testosterone levels are pending...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/5222652.stm

Posted by: Darth Vag at July 27, 2006 08:49 PM (+nlyI)

2 I bet Debbie has few too many picograms of testosterone floating around.

Her thick legs look to me like they're farm fed and definitely not organic.

I can't understand how Vinnie survived a romp with her in the back of her car:

http://www.vinceautmorire.mu.nu/wp-content/images/Picture%20107.jpg

Posted by: Darth Vag at July 27, 2006 08:57 PM (+nlyI)

3 "Any testosterone is abnormal" Excellent reply to the French.

Posted by: Scott at July 28, 2006 06:10 AM (+IzJ7)

4 Just thinking. Perhaps Lance Armstrong never tested with abnormal levels of testosterone because he only had one nut. Which is closer to the French, who have none.

Posted by: Scott at July 28, 2006 06:15 AM (+IzJ7)

5 Thanks to Rusty. I have had 30 hits so far. That is an all time record. Unfortunately, when I update my site, the counter resets.

Posted by: Cmunk at July 28, 2006 08:50 AM (7teJ9)

6 No American should debase himself by participating in the Tour d' Loserville, since any time an American wins the froggies bitch and cry like the petulant brats they are. The sooner the 'slamoturds eradicate the frogs the better, because then we can wipe the 'slamoturds out and take France for ourselves.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at July 28, 2006 10:21 AM (v3I+x)

7 y'all know hormones come from the brain, right?

Posted by: argh at July 28, 2006 03:42 PM (kKjaJ)

8 France: "thanks for f*cking up our sport, just like you f*ck up everything else in the world America!"

Posted by: HervÃ© at July 28, 2006 05:14 PM (QzvwS)

9 A few lazy, ignorant cliches trotted out and a few dumb cunts feel their worldview has been validated. The French are the new Jews - the idiot right sees their villainy everywhere.

French cycling fans are generally quietly sad right now.

Posted by: santori at July 28, 2006 05:16 PM (9JKJs)

10 The frogs have a right to be sad; they're the ugly girls at the prom of world history, and their best hope is to be groped by a drunken jock now and then.

Posted by: Improbulus Maximus at July 29, 2006 11:17 AM (v3I+x)

11 "In France, any testosterone in the bloodstream is considered abnormal."
Idiot.
Landis has not been accused of having lots of testosterone, but rather of having an elevated T/E ratio. That means he was above the normal limit of 4:1 testosterone to epitestosterone- a by-product of normal testosterone production.

In other words, if your body normally produces tons of testosterone, you will will also have lots of epitestosterone, at or below the above ratio. But if you inject or take oral testosterone, you ratio will be higher, since you body didn't produce it and therefore no by-product.
Landis had a T/E ratio of 11:1, nearly triple the normal ratio.
Dumb fucks.

Posted by: Quando at July 30, 2006 04:14 AM (0v4Wy)

12 Did you hear what the French found in the lock of Landis? They found 3 more banned substances...soap, underarm deodorant, and shampoo!

Hahahahahahaha

Posted by: Marcus Aurelius at July 30, 2006 10:46 PM (PkeU2)

13 Quando - what did the carbon-isotope test show?

Posted by: Barney Coppersmith at July 31, 2006 01:26 PM (R4293)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.

33kb generated in CPU 0.012, elapsed 0.079 seconds.
34 queries taking 0.0723 seconds, 168 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.

Search Thingy

July 27, 2006

Recent Comments