I've noticed what appears to me to be a trend in modern news reporting. It seems that actual "details" of a news story are becoming ever more difficult to come by. "Men" and "women" are often conflated to "individuals". "Terrorists" have become "soldiers", "fighters" or "militants". Terror groups are "militant groups" or "political groups". Individuals of a given nationality are defined by their continent of origin rather than their country. Details portraying particular groups in a negative light are often simply omitted. If this keeps up, we won't need news reporters for much longer, just a few stock MAD-LIB templates. Every news story about a terror ring, for example, pretty much condenses to the following:

[INSERT CITY HERE]--Authorities have announced that one or more individuals are suspected of causing, or planning, [INSERT VAGUE EVENT DESCRIPTION]. Authorities emphasize that the suspects come from the "broad strata of society" and were not identified through the use of any profiling techniques whatsoever.

Authorities emphasize that there are no links between the suspects and any known international political group. Authorities further emphasize that this event does not constitute "terrorism". It is not known at this time whether all individuals involved in the causation or planning have been detained or questioned by authorities, but authorities are confident that all future suspects will also be found across the "broad strata of society". The authorities continue to investigate the event or events, and the details of the planning, and may have additional details to provide as the investigation develops.

In related news, a group of Asian religious leaders has expressed its confidence that the detained individuals are innocent of all charges and are the victims of an Asian 'witch-hunt' because of their ethnicity. The group has roundly and unequivocally condemned "undeserved, unjustified, unwarranted, immoral violence against blameless, innocent, moral people everywhere", but notes that, while the individuals in question are innocent, actions of this type would be "an understandable by-product of the alienation brought on by Mr. [PRESIDENT'S NAME]'s aggressive and punitive foreign policy initiatives". The group also warns of an inevitable "backlash" against individuals of Asian descent.

The FBI said Monday it had no information to indicate did not believe that the three Palestinian men Asian individuals arrested with about 1,000 multiple cell phones in their van vehicle had any direct connection to known terrorist political groups.

Authorities had increased patrols on Michigan's 5-mile-long Mackinac Bridge after local prosecutors said investigators believed the men individuals were targeting photographing the span.

Local authorities didn't say what they believed the men individuals intended to do with the phones, but they noted that prepaid cell phones can be untraceable and used as detonators provide enhanced security and privacy for individuals offended by Bush's highly-controversial warrantless wiretapping program.

The FBI issued a news release Monday saying there is no "imminent threat" to the bridge linking Michigan's upper and lower peninsulas. The term 'imminent threat' is often invoked in connection with the non-existent weapons of mass destruction alleged by the White House to have been possessed by Saddam Hussein. The release also said the FBI had no information indicating did not believe that the men individuals, Palestinian Asian-Americans living in Texas, had any direct links to any known terrorist political groups or to the alleged "plot" to bomb divert trans-Atlantic jetliners vehicles that was announced in London Europe last week by the government of Tony Blair, who has been described as a "staunch apologist" for Mr. Bush's "war on terror", which has often been described by military officers as a "mess" and a "quagmire", particularly in Iraq, where almost 3,000 American soldiers have died, including Casey Sheehan, whose mother, Cindy Sheehan, has, along with many others, accused Mr. Bush of "war crimes" and has camped out near his ranch on a hunger strike seeking a meeting with Mr. Bush.

Posted by: Ragnar at 05:48 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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